Is it true that she can't have ASD if she's social?

[Sickofpeppapig]

Hi! Just looking for some advice really. Is it possible for a child to have ASD and be social? DD is 3.5yrs now, and when she was 2 her nursery and HV bother brought up concerns about ASD and she has been referred for an assessment. We had been prepared for this possibility as we have alot of ASD and ADHD in the family. Unfortunately it's a long wait. Some of the worries have improved, others have gotten worse, but in my mind she does fit the majority of the criteria. I was talking to a family member about my concerns and she said 'oh well she can't be autistic becauae she's too social!' and now I'm confused.

DD absolutely loves talking to people. Like excessively. She will try and talk to anyone she can, she tries to cuddle strangers, has no sense of fear around new people at all. I have to hold her hand all the time because I'm worried she will run up to the wrong type of person. She wants to go off with random people she meets and has no awareness of personal space or boundaries. I'm sure she has a megaphone for a voicebox too because she has no volume control at all, and if she tries to talk to somebody and they ignore her she will repeat and repeat. If she actually manages to get somebody to talk to her (like at nursery) she doesn't really know how to progress. She just answers basic questions or gets stuck in a loop of saying hello.

I guess I always thought that this could be linked to ASD but am confused if its possible? She has the majority of the signs of ASD (we believe maybe aspergers).

Is it possible for a child to have ASD and be social?
Yes, particularly but not exclusively in girls.

Tell your family member to educate themselves, look up autism in girls and women. There are countless books, articles, websites and you tube videos specifically to give information about the way autism in girls and women presents so differently to that in boys and men.
Look at the work of Lorna Wing, Judith Gould, Daphne Keen and many others.

Please don't listen to anyone who is not qualified to diagnose autism. It seems to be a condition that everybody has an opinion on, then they state that opinion as though it's fact, when in reality, it's only their often very wrong opinion.

Teachers, HV's GP's Nurses, friends and family, strangers, shop assistants, hairdressers, bankers, solicitors, uncle Tom Cobley and all aren't qualified to diagnose, so please ignore their opinions and only listen to medical professionals who are qualified to diagnose autism.

Okay, I think i read into things too much. Im just eager to get her the right support so she can thrive.

It's perfectly possible. My ds has add and is very sociable, he just often gets social interactions wrong. I wonder, if as he gets older, he will become less sociable. After all, most of us who struggle with certain things, tend to start avoiding them.

Of course Dd1 is social, has friends and masks very well now she is older, but was very similar at that age.

Ds (age 7) is very affected by his autism and he’s social. Just in a very odd way.

He’s very over the top and will go with anyone, climbs on strangers, touches them constantly, really in your face. Zero idea of personal space. He was exactly the same as a toddler.

They use to describe him in his reports as ‘overzealous’ I would say a ‘whirlwind’ 🤣

He had an autism diagnosis at 3! goes to special school etc x

Is it possible for a child to have ASD and be social?

Yes but very often they are socially inappropriate as they do not understand the social rules.

As a child, my son had no idea of social niceties and used to talk at people rather than to them, was totally unable to keep a conversation going, and invaded other people's personal space on a regular basis.

Yes as PP mentioned it's about being social in an appropriate manner.

Yep (I'm in the middle of trying to figure out if both DD and myself are somewhere on the spectrum).

It's "difficulties in social communication and social interaction" plus "restricted interests and repetitive behaviours" that are now the dyad of impairments (I'm going on the most up to date stuff from lecture notes there - and I've not had a coffee yet so ignore typos)... it's not NOT being sociable - it's struggling to navigate all those rules of social communication appropriately.

I know some very chatty engaging autistic students - absolutely lovely lovely kids; but they really struggle and have to work to behave in that way and it can cause them a lot of fall out in terms of anxiety and distress. Likewise - some who will quite happily approach anyone and everyone and give them a full statistical breakdown of Pokemon move sets or supercar engine specifications or whatever else.

With DD2 it's the personal space difficulties, the chatting to people inappropriately and not really picking up the vibes that they're not listening or engaging, hugging and just emotionally really not navigating the world of playground friendships that are what we're seeing - plus really clinging to her routine, being desperate to remind you that 12:00 = lunchtime and it's now 12:01 and general anxiety around change... with myself I constantly overthink social interactions, get incredibly anxious before them, say things that tip into "oversharing" or "inappropriateness" and don't have a fucking clue I've done them and really constantly having to think about if I'm dominating the flow of a conversation, not talking enough, is the person bored and wanting to end the conversation, oh I tried to end the conversation and they're carrying on - plus routines, things being put in a specific place, the house needing to be in order (it's a tip - but it's a tip to my own specific specifications!). I'm waiting for a diagnostic assessment.