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Peachybobbingparty, about disability discrimination at Eu level

39 replies

globetrotterinvietnam · 19/11/2007 11:06

I'm hoping that I misunderstood you. I saw on the "you know you have a child with SN when" thread. I know you can't be a diplomat overseas, which is ridiculous as i started an international NGO and am always on the go. Why are "normal" people discriminating when they have no idea of what we can actually do? Sorry for the rant and i hope I'm not embarassing myself. I just get fed up of people discriminating. I'm trying my best to change things.

OP posts:
globetrotterinvietnam · 20/11/2007 11:13

your parenting advisor sounds like a real idiot........ As if locking him away will solve anything.....

OP posts:
yurt1 · 20/11/2007 19:03

I realise that globetrotter. TBH my life has not been curtailed as such. I travelled before having ds1, I am now doing a 2nd PhD, I have plenty of options. Fewer than I would have if I just had ds2 and ds3, but many options nonetheless.

DS1 is a child who will require 24 hour care for his entire life, I see every day how little of life he can access. He can't even manage a trip to the corner shop to buy milk- not even with a helper at the moment. Even things he would enjoy are difficult for him to access. I'm not trying to compare that with my inability to become a diplomat (!) I was just trying to put the original lighthearted jokey thread in some sort of context.

2shoes · 20/11/2007 21:17

globetrotterinvietnam I am sorry if I cause offence with my post. I just felt that peachy was under attack

Peachy · 21/11/2007 11:42

(2shoes- aprpeciated).

GTinV- sadly I would need to win the lottery at theis stage, as Dh is about to go to Uni when I finish and its my turn (fair and proper) to support the family whilst he does that. i do have experience though- county fundraisewr for amcmillan, then organiser with homestart, so maybe one day eh?

globetrotterinvietnam · 21/11/2007 11:54

2shoes, don't worry, its ok
Peachy, anything is possible. Never give up.

OP posts:
globetrotterinvietnam · 21/11/2007 12:15

Nobody thought I'd be able to live on my own, they thought i'd need a carer.... btw, 2shoes, I saw this ages ago about you wanting to shave your daughter's underarms. yes, I know, funny to pput this here, but did you do it? I'm wondering because I m still trying to shave........ Nobody has said anything rude to me about that though. I don't even know if they shave in Vietnam.

OP posts:
wannaBe · 21/11/2007 17:32

I am completely .

I cannot speak for the treatment of visually impaired people abroad, because I have no experience of that, but the way the op says she has been treated in this country simply does not ring true for me.

10/15 years ago, before access technology was on a par with computers etc it was much harder to get a job than it is now because blind people simply weren?t on an equal footing technologywise, so we couldn?t walk into an interview and say ?I can do this job in this way because of that piece of software which can be obtained from that company?, and so employers could legitimately maintain that the job would be impossible. When I started looking for my first job 13 years ago, I applied for 168 jobs before I was successful.

However now it is much different. For starters, companies are legally not allowed to discriminate against someone on the grounds of their disability. Oh yes some will still discriminate, mostly though out of ignorance. But I could walk into an interview tomorrow and when asked how I manage with computers etc I could list a variety of different access solutions, even to the extent that I could bring in a copy of my access software and install it on their computer to demonstrate the effectiveness of it, give names and numbers of suppliers, and ensure that government has a scheme called ?access to work? which will fund the cost of said adaptations thus ensuring no employer would be out of pocket.

But even if that is just paper talk, I?ve never personally found that anyone has viewed me any differently because of my disability. Until my ds was born I was a finance manager in the civil service. I?m a sahm now but I help out in ds? reception class 1 day a week, am a member of the PTA, and regularly have children round to my house to play, I have taken other peoples? children to and from school, and last week had a birthday party for ds and had 10 children at my house, and their parents dropped them off and left them with me without any reservations. IMO if there is one area where people would be very cautious of trusting someone with a disability it would be with looking after their children, and I just haven?t found that to be the case.

I am also that someone could compare the difficulties faced by a blind person to those faced by the parent of a child with severe sn. Visual impairment is not a severe disability.

No-one has ever told me that I would not be able to live independently, why wouldn?t I?

I am completely independent, I have a husband, a child, I am a good cook and cook everything from scratch including my own pasta. The only thing I will never be able to do is drive a car (the swines won?t let me have a licence for some inexplicable reason ). The only challenges I face on a daily basis are those of any other parent, my disability certainly does not present challenges for me.

It is of course entirely possible that the op has some other sn apart from her visual impairment, but blindness alone should not be that hard to deal with, if it is then maybe it?s a matter of confidence rather than inability.

As for shaving under arms, no reason why one couldn?t use a normal razer, but if you didn?t have the confidence for that then there are plenty of electric ones on the market which are perfectly safe.

carmenm · 22/11/2007 02:26

wannabe, globe has problems with movemnt and speech as well. She has lived abroad most of her life, where technology isn't so developed and attitudes are different. She is 24, but has really struggled. We lived for a number of years in south america, which is not camparable to England, not is South East Asia. Many of the blind children there are blind and autistic, blind with CP, or blind with some other disability. Not every country is as good as England or Amrica. In Cambodia, its illegal to teach school if you have a visual impairment. I feel its unfair to of you to comment if you've never been to these places. You are lucky to have had so many opportunities, she hasn't had that.

Also, it sounds like you had a supportive family. Her parents didn't look after her and she no longer has any contact with them.

I'm going to bed, very tired.

carmenm · 22/11/2007 03:28

I also wanted to say that she is very brave and very confident. She hasn't had an easy time with things, yet she never gives up. She set up a charity in a communist country, where there is a lot of red tape and she is seen by those people as an outcast. Believe me, you have no idea what those children go through. They're sent to orphanages where they're hidden away. The blind kids don't have braille paper, or braillers, or canes, or glasses, or anything. Agent orange did a lot of damage to children there. The kids with severe CP or other movement problems) are lying on the floor all day long. They don't have wheelchairs..... The older children don't have nappies and wee all over the floor.

She's had to make do without a lot of things, its not like in England where you have access to everything. You can buy an electric razor or toothbrush in England, Europe, America, but not in 3rd world countries. I don't mean to sound condescending, but people in developed countries don't know how lucky they are.
People don't think what its like to not have hot water (even in winter) or a washing machine, or a matress to sleep on....

Wages there are very low. The nanny in the disabled children's orphanage gets 75 dollars a month, and thats one of the highest paying jobs. Some of the teachers get only 30 dollars, yet they work 7 AM till 5 PM, 6 days a week. Most have more than 3 kids to support.

carmenm · 22/11/2007 04:50

Also Wannabe, how old were you when you became a finance manager? Give that little girl break. Most 24 year olds are stilll at Uni. She speaks 7 languages, including Thai and Vietnamese, started a charity when she was 22, and for all what she went through, I'm bloody proud of her. No, she may not be able to shave or walk properly, or be understood when she talks, but she's one hell of a great kid, and she has more guts than anyone I've ever come across.

She was knocked unconscious last week after 10 boys threw rocks at her head and hit her. She's 5 stone 4 and very tiny. I scares the hell out of me when she s there alone. It was me who thought she'd need a carer, btw. It took her for ages to learn to walk, to sit up, to do everything. We didn't have the same help that would have been available to her in other places. It was a nightmare to find a pt or speech therapist. When we did she took forever to catch on. Now she's in a placewhere she has to cross the road with thousands of bicycles and motorbikes and pedestrians don't have the right of way. I get scared and I can see, walk, and ask for help and be understood.

Sorry for the long rants, but 2shoes, yurt1 peachy and even wannabe, I'm sure you would defend your child too.

yurt1 · 22/11/2007 08:51

I thought she grew up in Italy? She spent 10 years there. Why wasn't there access to therapies there?

needmorecoffee · 22/11/2007 09:16

I don't think anyone would being mean to your Lass Carmemn. At first she didn't say where she was or how severe her disabilities are so posters just gave their own experience. My dd is blind and has such severe CP she can't move so she wouldn't be able to do what the OP does. I wish she could.

I am interested in how she started an NGO howeber. Whats it called? Does she have lots of people working with her? Is there a centre she fund raises for? Any good publicity and maybe she could get some fund raising going. Helping sn children in Vietnam is a great thing.

Not sure why shaving is relevant. Women don't have to shave underarms! Its just fashion.

needmorecoffee · 22/11/2007 10:34

Sorry, I'm getting lost now. Is Globe in Vietnam or Cambodia?

yurt1 · 22/11/2007 11:09

vietnam & thailand I think

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