Peachybobbingparty, about disability discrimination at Eu level

[globetrotterinvietnam]

I'm hoping that I misunderstood you. I saw on the "you know you have a child with SN when" thread. I know you can't be a diplomat overseas, which is ridiculous as i started an international NGO and am always on the go. Why are "normal" people discriminating when they have no idea of what we can actually do? Sorry for the rant and i hope I'm not embarassing myself. I just get fed up of people discriminating. I'm trying my best to change things.

I think that was rather an old thread, about a year old. Also not to speak for Peachy, but I am sure Peachy did not mean that all people with all sorts of SN couldn't have a diplomatic career, just that with certain disabilities/diagnoses it's not really going to be realistic.

I agree with TC. I didn't read the thread but I find it very hard that peachy would discriminate against anyone with a disability. She tends to be one of the voices shouting against it.

Sorry - that was meant to say I find it very hard to believe ...

1. I cant even remember that thread and there's no way o would have typed that! But cant defend myself because I cant remember tht

1. I have ahd a career in charities, I DO have an idea what you do

1. I ahve Sn kids, why on Earth would I discriminate

but I used that name for halloween 2006, my mind is not that good I am afraid

And that thread- it was a within-the Sn-community-taking-the-piss-out-of-ourselves-thread iirc, NOT a serious one.

But if you'd like to provide a link am happy to clarify what I did mean for you)

Ok
here is the link here

if you can find anything I said on there which is hurtful please show me where

All my posts describe my own situation at that time quite accurately and refer in the main to specific instances that were well known on MN then as I was struggling abdly with both of mine.

I just cannot work out why on earth you started this thread or what I did- surely if there was an issue I'd ahve been pulled up at the time?

I have to say I am horrified that some one would come on the sn board and take a pop at someone for something they may or may not have posted on a light hearted(sometimes) thread. I am sure peachy has a pair of her shoes you can borrow to walk in for a day.

globetrotterinvietnam is, iirc, visually impaired so does know some of the relaity of SN- just I cant see anything wrong on that thread. Which amkes me rather - unless my crap typing has caused the confusion I suppose?

Your Dh is permanently on a awarning because of the amount of emergency leave he takes (did anyone see that disability discrimnation MIGHT be extended to aprents and carers at EU level?)

(could this be the misunderstood post.wonder if globetrotter misheard it)

The thread was about being the parent of a child with SN, not about having a disability. Peachy's remark was lighthearted. A joke. It's great to see people with disabilities achieve of course, and as parents of kids with disabilities I'm sure we're the first to see that but as the mother of a child with severe learning difficulties and severe autism, like Peachy I am never going to have a diplomatic career. If I was precious about my career I would be a basket case by now. Luckily, like Peachy I can laugh at my lack of prospects. For starters we can't move schools regularly, secondly we have no access to out of school hours childcare, thirdly my son needs me to do things like try and teach him to read and write by typing (no-one else is going to) and actually I would say that's more important than being a diplomat. So that's lucky.

The only ref I can find is the one 2shoes found- is there another Yurt that I am missing? because DH WAS on a warning att hat point!

Could you iamgine (sure you can) what you could be earning if you didnt ahev the responsibilities you do, though? or me in a few years- someone said with an MA and a PGCE you could be a head..... I nearly wet myself! Could you imagine those hours?

I still like that thread though- even if Googly still appears in my house on way too common a basis .....

Totalchaos is right though- anything I've contributed to that thread is in the context of my child- who will require 24 hours care for the rest of his life- he will never be a diplomat. He just won't. It doesn't stop me being proud of the achievements he makes each day. That doesn't mean I think that every single person with any sort of disability will require 24 hours care, of course I don't. I suspect Peachy's comment was made in her own context- as the mother of two children with SN. Which does rather put the dampners of doing a great deal much else.

(Oh and thanks all- this one shook me, took me off kilter a bit!)

cross posted Peachy. I think the context has been misunderstood.

I know exactly what you mean. There is a while lot of stuff I could do, in another reality. But working round ds1's disability (and the other children- although they are easier to work around) prevents a lot. Can't be in 2 places at once.

Peachy, I didn't mena you were discriminating, I wanted to know if the thing you wrote about people being left out of Eu positions was true.

2shoes, I am blind and I live in Vietnam,, where people throw rocks at me, tell me to leave restaurants because they assume I'm poor, hit me and much more. I was turned down by th e red crosss because they told me they don't accept people with sn to work overseas. I've been trying to get things for disabled children here, including rights to be normal people. I don't need to walk in anyone's shoes, its tough enough walking in my own.

Also Peachy, I meant that not many people (especially in Asia know what a disabled person can do. I'm sure you know what a charity does. I get called a liar all the time because people are too ignorant to listen to me and see what I can do.

oh right- it wsn't very clear but OK.

Actually what I meant was (sorry- I suspect a cross issue between your translator thing and my typing which ironically is down to poor eyesight LOL) that the EU were at that time trying to extend the disability discrimination laws to the aprents and carers of sn children, so that they wouldn't be penalised if, say, as happened with us, DH had to return home from work fairly often to help with a severe meltdown.

I ahve absolutely no idea what happened to that legislation [sd], we oculd still do with it, although I can cope better alone now than I used to be able to (post DX depression gone)

And yes, when I read that post I thought you meant that someone was discriminating against people with disabilities at EU level. Thats why I wrote I hope I'm not embarassing myself

yurt1, I know some children won't be able to live by themselves when they're older. I just feel so upset when people take the piss even when they don't know anything about the disability (people in general.) I work with sn kids here as well, and believe me, I know its tiring sometimes.

Peachy, there are a lot of things that need to be changed regarding sn kids and the help they get..... You should see what goes on here....

I thnk there's a big issue with people taking the idea that disability has 2 levels- skivers and non-functioning at the moment. recently I posted on mumsnet that my hubby had severe depression, immediately someone (now removed from mumsnet) launched a huge attack on him being a skiver (actually he has a full time job AND a growing business, plus he helps me with the boys etc). I got really defensive and was hurt by the attack on him- but afterwards i thought, that is how all people with depression are perceived these days, yet depression can be a really severe disability requiring long term hospitalisation and even loss of life. that amde me sad, for those trying to cope who are assumed to be skiving. On the other hand, needmorecoffee on here (hope she doesn't mind) is an incredibly bright lady who could work very well, but no employer wants to give her a chance because of her wheelchair.

It is completely nuts!

Both mine (well, I have 3 and another one brewing, but the sn ones anyway) have autism. DS1 will probably work, as he is high functioning, but I have no idea at what level or in what field as he has problems with literacy as well, which will complicate things. DS3 might manage some kind of work placement, but as he is (rated by BIBIC who are the only people prepared to stick their neck out with a diagnosis) moderate autism, I woudn't be surprised if he doesn't manage work- he starts mainstram school in January, which the LEA refer to as a permanent palce, and the school refer to as a 'trial'.

I know how you feel. I learned 5 languages because I wanted to be an interpreter, couldn't find a job. Then I took a TESOL course to become an english teacher. I was told to get a refund because I would never find a job........ I finished the course and got a certificate, but I had to prove everything to them. There was a bl**dy individual trying to get a certificate as well. She had a little group of followers and she kept telling her disciples "Well, she's not going to get it." After that I had had enough and started Eye Will, my charity. It made me so determined to change things for people with sn.

There are so many children in Vietnam with sn because of Agent Orange. The general population treats them (and me) like outcasts. I wrote on here a while ago about my experience at the 5 star hotel. I went in to have dinner and the receptionist was SO hateful. The people here assume we have no money or that we don't have any brains. I spend a lot of my time at the orphanages (a lot of parents abandon their children when they find out it has sn) and try and fight for the children. There was a typhoon here last week and a blind man was killed, the people at the blind association (the sighted teachers) were laughing......

Incredibly sad- I am constanlt amazed by how many of ds1's contemporaries at his rugby SN team are not being raised within their own families. I can't judge- many of the famillies are in the situation I suppose because of drug and alchohol abuse that perobably contributed to the Sn in the first palce- but I do find it hard to understand.

I am at university now, graduating in the next year (if I ever finish this essay LOL)- the plan was tot ake a PGCE so ic ould teach. However, a lack of childcare has prevented that. I was fortunate enough to get a place on an MA in ASD afterwards which will 'buy me time' and also be a positive step, but that has taken a lot of planning. I have also seen two people on my course with (admittedly less severe) learning difficulties who are perfectly capable of a First and a Phd place shunted into PGCE courses when they could achieve a lot more.

interestingly, my work experience placement was a project on supporting famillies around the time of diagnosis and a plan to establish a chairity doing that LOL. maybe one day i will win the lottery eh?

You don't have to win the lottery. I started mine with no money, experience, anything, just anger and determination...
I think its a lovely idea to start a charity. It really helps when there's someone who knows the situation first hand.

How old are your sons? Has the school ever had experience with sn before?

I don't have a chance to come on here much, so a lot of you don't know me. Come to think of it, you answered my other post, where I was asking for suggestions on what to explain. I think that was you anyway!

yes, that was me.

School ahd my eldest and amde a right mess of it, we wanted ds3 to go to a special school (he has severe langauge delays as well) but the LEA wouldnt agree, that's why he's on a january start- we refused to allow him to go until they ahd a statement we could accept in palce and ready, which was after September. Fortuantely I am now experienced at the LEA systems and procedures and the school well know it, so are giving me more of a lead on this one (with ds1, they suggested ASD didnt exist and was a result of poor aprenting, then the LEA ex-parenting advisor suggested locking ds1 in his room at night or if he had a meltdown or just was difficult- ). There were a LOT of issues tere but now I know how to over ride them and they realise I am no fool LOL.

problem is its a Church School with its own admissions system, etc- and the nearest school by a fair trek.

DS1 is almost 8, ds2 (NT) almost 7, ds3 is 4.5 and baby due in march. Also a boy so increased risk of ASD but at least we know how to cope now.

btw, Yurt1, having a child with sn limits your options sometimes, but having sn limits a lot more options. Many of us go to Uni and then can't get a job, we don't have access to a lot of things. Although people make remarks to you about your child, don't ask questions about you in front of other people or tell you you're lying. Its hard for you as a parent, but its just as hard on the person with sn. I have looked after enough kids with sn to see things from both sides.

your parenting advisor sounds like a real idiot........ As if locking him away will solve anything.....