help me decide on dd's school provision please

[geekgrrl]

Dd2 with DS will be off to school next September . She?s got a statement review in a few weeks? time and I need to decide what provision to ask for. She currently goes to a nursery attached to a special school three days a week, and one day to a mainstream one.
The special school is a 30 minute drive away, I don?t want her to go in a taxi (seeing the escorts every time I pick her up has put me off completely) so I drive her myself which is a real pain in the neck.
The mainstream school she will be attending is our village school. It?s lovely, small, and dd1, currently in year 1, is happy there. They?re looking forward to having dd2. They have other children with statements but never had a child with DS before.
Dd2?s teacher at the special setting have indicated that they think a shared placement ? some days at mainstream, some at special ? would be good for her. I am so unsure what to do. I really like the special school at the moment, but I don?t want dd2 to stay there forever. Initially we sent her because they use Makaton all the time and dd2 had uncorrected hearing loss. She now has hearing aids and her speech is coming slowly so there?s less reliance on Makaton. Also, they started off as catering to children with mild to moderate learning disabilities, now they?ve rebranded themselves as moderate to severe. I don?t think dd2 fits into this category. A lot of the children there have many more problems than dd2, also behavioural problems which dd2 doesn?t have at all. She copes very well in her mainstream nursery and is just one of the gang there.
I worry that a shared placement will compromise dd?s school life at mainstream school. On the other hand, the special school is lovely, they have a lot of expertise and it?d be a shame to miss out on that. I also worry that, should things go belly-up in mainstream, we might have a problem getting a special school place. I don?t know what to do ? whatever I do is bound to be the wrong decision!

the mainstream school sounds ideal actually! It's just the kind of thing i would want for my dd if special wasnt available.

As for the special, IME if your dd is on the mild spectrum they wouldnt want her there full time anyway, maybe 2 days a week to start? Aswell if they have outreach to special school, the special school usually advise the mainstream and make sure the child is getting the right support iykwim.

What do you want? If you want the mainstream full time ask for it. With 1-2-1 alot of the time I am sure your dd will do well there. She will be with her sister which will be easier for you. I am sure things wont come unstuck and if they do I am sure the special school would be happy to support her again.

I don't have any experience of DS in Primary but I work in a secondary school and we have a boy with DS in Y8. He has been in the school since year 7 and is doing very well. He is withdrawn from the class for extra support in english and maths, I think he was extra work on communication when the rest of the class do MFL. The rest of the time he is with his peers. He has 1 on 1 support at all times and he accesses the curriculum across the board. He aso has a sixth form mentor and classroom 'buddies'. He always seems to be very happy in the school and his LSW says he is great to work with. I saw him not that long ago at break time walking round with the head chatting about their holidays.

Only down side is that I don't think our school could have coped with makaton unless he had a translator as a LWS (the boy doesn't need it IYSWIM) and I'm not supre how common they are.

HTH and that you get the place that you want for your dd

I'd start of with shared- but ask to reveiw the situation termly/twice yearly. It would be reviewed annually anyway. This is just based on my experience of a mainstream school who were very keen to take on DS1 without any previous experience and have proved totally unable to meet his needs (not particularly their fault and they do concinue to try). We'e nw trying to get him in special school.

Having said that ds1's needs are probably more complex than your dd's, but then again if you can keep your options open why not? For the reception year ds1 did mianly part time shcool part time nursery and that worked quite well.

thanks everyone - am just so torn about it. Will probably do what jimjams suggested - shared at first with regular reviews. I don't want dd to have problems forming friendships because she is only there part of the week, though?! But maybe it doesn't really matter at that age anyway.
I worry about how the ms school will cope if dd isn't toilet trained by next September - but I guess other ms schools cope so our's should too.
Thanks for your post, hmb - I always love to hear about children with DS in ms secondary schools, particularly when it sounds like they've got a good social network there. I hope that dd will go to ms secondary school but worry about isolation (ok, she's only 3 but hey, give me something to worry about and I will! ). I think most children with DS move from Makaton to speech some time in the preschool or primary years.

GG, our DD with DS started reception this Sept in our local school (we're in London but otherwise sounds v similar to your MS option) and it has been very successful. They have had children with statements but never a child with DS. To be honest we weren't offered the special option, but I would have opted for the inclusive approach at this age anyway, with two provisos: appropriate support [we have fallen foul of a waiting list for SALT but that's another story] and the option to switch back to shared/full time special school as and when you feel appropriate. Feel free to CAT me if you want to hear more!

its a tricky one and one that we struggle with at times, we see both sides of it we have 10 yr old twins with asd, they are at special school and they love it, also have son also asd and he is in mainstream(for now!)
we think he will go to special school at some point we were hoping he would go at comp age but he may need to go before that.
the main differences as we see them, mainstream offer good role models, more able kids to watch and learn from.down side is funding means there is never enuff support, i am always the expert and i have to teach the teachers,other parents dont make the effort to include my son in there kids activities.
special school, great acceptance of child dispite differences, made lots of friends of other parents my girls have made loads of mates, they offer a whole child support package so the things that my kids need like life skills social skills ect are all part of the package, there school has a 16 to 19 unit where they do college ect, and each year they go on holiday for a week with school,i dont have to teach any of the staff ! i have learnt from them when we look at the two school we have many more stresses about my sons school, we have no worries about the girls school, sorry for the ramble, CAT me if you like.

I agree with Jimjams. I think I'd probably start off with the shared option and see how it works out. FWIW ds1 is the only child in his class who doesn't go to school full-time yet (it's been gradually built-up since the beginning of term so he should be full-time within the next few weeks) and it doesn't seemed to have interfered with how he gets on with his classmates. If he sees them on the way to or from school they rush over to talk to him etc. He doesn't mix with them outside of school but then he rarely got invited to parties etc even when he was at pre-school.

onlyjoking, I know wher you're coming from - I really worry that dd won't get invited to parties etc (she's never been invited to any of her nursery friends' parties which is a bit sad - I know she can't say much but she enjoys wacky warehouse & pass the parcel as much as any other 3 year old). Also I've made such good friends with some of the parents at the special school, my social life would go completely downhill without. Looks more and more like shared will be the way to go for starters.

Just a quick post to send my hugs to you geekgrrl.
Haven't had much chance to read this properly yet but I understand how consufing the decision making is. I am only at the very beginning with dd and I feel under so much pressure to make the right choice for her.
I know I feel very alone in this, I hope you are all OK. Will pop back later if I get the chance,love for now, Dingle.

onlyjoking- great post from my pov- thanks!- all the reasons we are moving from ms and all the reasons I hope ss will be better for us

Little aside about not being invited to parties made me SOOO sad - that's just rotten. Some people are so ignorant. Big hugs xx

thats what our school is like onlyjoking, dont worry jimjams I am sure you will be very pleased.

if it's any comfort, they try to put non-verbal children (in ss) with a peer groupo of verbal children for alot of the day so that it improves their understanding of speech iykwim. this is why they encourage outreach aswell (Probably used the wrong words but ykwim)

jimjams, i have folloed your posts about your son and IMHO i think it will be a good move for him and i am sure you will get to meet some more great parents, i spend time in both my kids schools and i know which one i prefer, i am sure you will be the same CAT me if you want to ask anything, you probably "know" me from another list we are both on.

one of the things i worried about for my girls when they went to there old special school at 5 was that most kids in there class were non verbal, but it was fine they spent a lot of time with other kids that were verbal, at there new school they are in upper juniors and the more able kids from there class go to senior for some lessons which is brill and quite a few kids do exams now too.
i think the duel placement would be good to keep a foot in each door and keep reviewing it.

and they do vocational courses....wow! sorry to gush but i feel just so great about that!

they do loads of stuff in the 16 plus unit, they even have a working garage complete with a car inspetion pit and they work on real cars!

I know, it's great!!! our 16-19 unit is at very very good college, i really hpe we stay here for that long!!

our kids go to a local college, they start off taking the kids then move on to putting them on
public buses with there own mobile phone and someone meeting them at other end then work up in small steps to them doing it all by themselves,
it gives me great hope for my three

I couldnt agree more