Private Austism Treatment/advice

[klayton]

My soon to be 5 year old is causing endless worry, his behaviour in his mainstream school is getting worse and his teachers constantly complain. He is nonverbal for the most part and simply refuses to follow instructions and is just in his own world. I feel a bit let down by local authorities as they have never provided anything useful in the form of therapies for him or to us as parents, despite us raising concerns since he was 2. I feel we have lost 3 years (not helped by the pandemic) and I feel guilty as we never sought any private treatment or advice. We are getting nowhere with the official NHS channels so I'd like to try private alternatives if anyone has any recommendations in London or beyond? We desperately need to find ways to improve his behaviour and start co-operating otherwise I just don't know how we'd cope if and when his school inevitably expel him. Thanks.

Disruptive behaviour is usually the result of unmet needs.If your child is non verbal, it may be that he also has difficulties understanding language, so it could be that it is not that he is refusing to follow instructions, but that he doesn't understand them. Presumably you have already asked your GP for referral to Speech and Language Therapy?

What is the school putting in place to support him? Under Section 66 of the Children and Families Act 2014, the school has a duty to " use its best endeavours to secure that the special educational provision called for by the pupil’s or student’s special educational needs is made.”

www.ipsea.org.uk/the-best-endeavours-duty

If it is getting to the point where your child is at risk of being excluded they should be applying for an EHC Needs Assessment. If the school is unwilling to do this, you can apply yourself.

www.ipsea.org.uk/ehc-needs-assessments

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You can't treat autism as it isn't an illness.

You can only accommodate it, and provide therapies to help overcome the sensory difficulties and communication delay.

Speech therapy and occupational therapy are the gold standard in the U.K., but you may have to pay for them.

As a parent I think educating yourself as much as possible about autism is the most important thing you can do. Accept your child for who they are, not who you feel they should be. That may mean adjusting expectations for all sorts of things, short term like only taking them to places they know and are familiar, and long term eg how and where they will be educated and what they need to get out of it.

It can be very very hard for parents to accept that they have to adjust their expectations but it really is the best thing all round for them, and especially their child. It's not 'writing off' a child, it's being realistic about what they can achieve.

The local authorities and NHS seem to be useless in some areas. We ended up seeing a private paediatrician for an advice appointment which was about £400 and asking her to tell us where best to spend our money on private therapy based on dd individual needs. We do ABA which I would highly recommend.
There maybe be local charities and support groups who can help advise you on challenging behaviour.
Do you have any alternative communication methods in place like PECs? As this could also be something to look into and a Speech or ABA therapist could help with that.

@cripez

OP came here for advice on getting help for her child who is being failed by the system, not for a lecture on ASD parenting

OP came here for advice on getting help for her child who is being failed by the system, not for a lecture on ASD parenting I didn’t read that as a lecture, it was excellent advice.