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self harming

7 replies

shiny1 · 16/11/2007 22:29

my dd pulls her hair out,(weve had to shave it)and she also makes herself bleed on her arms.its so upsetting .what can i do to stop her?

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2shoes · 16/11/2007 22:40

no advice but just wanted to send a cyber hug. this happened with a girl at dd's school and broke her mums heart to have her hair cut.

shiny1 · 16/11/2007 22:46

Thanks 2shoes

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shiny1 · 17/11/2007 07:59

x

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r3dh3d · 17/11/2007 08:15

Hi shiny;

Good question, hun. And a grim thing to do with, we've had similar problems. It depends on "why" a bit, I think. Is it:

  • frustration
  • sensory
  • attention/communication

We have a thing called a "learning disabilities nurse" who visits and he is actually quite helpful with stuff like this. And admits when there is sod all he can do which is also refreshing.

DD1 eats her hair (rather than pull it out) so it is all very tightly plaited and then gathered up into a pony tail at the back of her head which is fixed with lots of the strongest elastic bobbles I can find. (I surreptitiously ping them every time I see one in a shop). That will never be allowed to be long enough to eat iyswim. If she works out how to bust out of that, I will just cut it.

She used to chew her hands till they bled. We had a bunch of strategies - give her something better to chew (teething ring type things - we found the best came from France ... of course ... but I suspect it's individual to the child anyway) redirect her in a positive way (ie never give her attention/negative reinforcement for chewing her hands, say "where's your CHEW, DD1? Oh, good girl chewing your CHEW") and then when you can't get at her, forcibly restrain. So in her car seat, her hands were tied down, I'm afraid. And at night she wore those excema pyjamas with integral mitts and ties round the wrist. My main worry was that she chewed the joints of her thumb a lot and I feared she'd get arthritis and lose mobility: only one hand works anyway and if she loses the opposable thumb grip in the other, she's stuffed.

We never really worked out why she did it, so we tried everything at once, really. And then one day she just stopped. I think it was sensory myself (though OT says otherwise, nasty political animal that she is) and she eventually decided that sucking her thumb was a better sensory buzz than chewing it.

Don't know if any of that helps at all, beside knowing there are others in the same boat.

shiny1 · 18/11/2007 07:36

dd came back from respite yesterday,[she only goes for 5 hours every 2 weeks]amd she had took all the skin off her arms and there was bloold everywhere.They didnt know what to do and it made me feel guilty for sending her although i know she would had done the same thing at home.

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Davros · 18/11/2007 20:41

Sorry to butt in, but this is Self-Injurious Behaviour (SIB) not Self-Harming which is different. SIB is common in some people with disabilities (I know most about Autism of course) and SIB can have various functions as mentioned by r3dhr3. Working out the function is the best thing to do if possible. There is a lot of literature out there and sometimes conferences etc - I know, I've done 'em all! As our children get older I think their behaviours become more complex and often multi-functional, e.g. attention, sensory, frustration etc so it can get harder to ascertain function/trigger. Having said that, most SIB and Challenging Behaviour seems to be shown to be related to Communication. Knowing this does not mean it is easy to solve as I have found myself! How does your child communicate? Can you improve the materials she has access to? Also, as suggested, try to provide an alternative.
Self-Harm is related to mental health problems, not learning or mental disability... although people with LD/ASD etc CAN also have mental health problems.
It is a minefield but evidence does seem to show that SIB is mostly related to Communication. HTH

shiny1 · 19/11/2007 13:57

Thanks for enlightening me Davros,ive never heard of SIB.I do think it is all to do with communication or lack of it,dd cannot talk but seems to understand a lot,she is 13 now so maybe its hormones too.

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