School input and DC's ASD diagnosis

[Maavay]

Primary aged DC is currently being assessed for ASD (suspected OCD and inattentive ADHD). He also has terrible anxiety and low moods. He manages to mask it quite well at school but is mainly very quiet and draws very little attention to himself.

For the assessment we have filled in many questionnaires and had many online meetings, with one face to face only for the ADOS assessment. What I understood from the MH practitioner is that it's more or less complete and we will be called in for a conclusive meeting. DC's school has been most unhelpful in all this- firstly refusing to accept anything was wrong with DC despite me raising concerns many times over the years. It took him having a MH breakdown last year to get counselling from a psychiatrist and she made the referral to CAMHS. Fast forward to now and school has taken months to send relevant forms back to CAMHS, causing a longer delay for an outcome. The SENCO handling it was also DC's teacher one year but was very dismissive about my concerns. Once I told her other children were beginning to notice his tics and she claimed not to have even noticed his tics. They were very obvious at the time! She was very annoyed about his daydreaming, forgetfulness and fidgeting. Yet she claims she knows him very well. When he was under the psychiatrist she also contacted the school before the CAMHS referral and I received a letter. The SENCO had told her DC is fine and they have zero concerns. I really feel like her dismissiveness is going to mess things up for DC in getting the help he needs.

I guess the point of my thread is that I am really worried how much of an influence schools have when it is decided whether a child has ASD or not. I have very little faith in the school, they claim to know him well but have no clue at all. None of the teachers stick around long enough and it's a constant stream of supplies. I turned to the pastoral worker for some intervention in September as DC struggled badly with anxiety I was told other kids are in greater need. She asked him if he was fine, he said yes and that was the end of that. With attitudes like that how can they help decide whether my DC has special needs??

Shit sorry it's long.

@Maavay I hate to suggest it but is the attitude of the school ever going to change? It's totally wrong the way things have been handled but sometimes attitudes oc schools and staff become so engrained in the working culture.
Have you considered a new school? 🤔

I'm aware many parents complained of how the school handled home learning during the first lockdown, the quality and quantity of work given was dire and repetitive, and my own DC found it mind numbingly boring. But we worked through other independent resources and he really thrived. Since then the local authority has intervened resulting in a reshuffle in management. Online learning drastically improved during the lockdown post xmas. I guess if there is a collective voice raising concerns it is heard and changes can be made to the school culture. But on my own I can't do much despite fighting DC's corner with everything I have.

DC has a few months left before secondary school, it wouldn't make any sense to change at this point. Plus DC has a few good friends (finally) and he would be devastated to be separated from them.

My son's teacher pretty much said he was fine too, she was clueless to be honest, it was his previous teacher that had picked up on it - he was diagnosed in 45 minutes though by a specialist (NHS but not CAHMs) so try not to worry too much. Is your son really happy there? Moving might be really tough for him but if he's not happy then worth considering.

@Tal45 he's never really liked school but is usually okay once he's there. His small friendship group helps and if he didn't have that then the change would be very distressing and worsen his anxiety. He loved lockdown simply because he is happy at home but the MH breakdown last year proves being a hermit isn't really good for him.

Perfectly possible to get a diagnosis without school being on board - try not to worry! My DS's school is the same:- they have repeatedly pooh poohed my concerns and they are almost impossible to communicate with in the first place. I regret not moving him in reception.

@landofgiants it's so frustrating isn't it, I hope it doesn't take a MH breakdown like my DC had before your concerns are taken seriously. And I wish school staff was honest about how well they know a child rather than claiming to know them very well and not taking into consideration that children are good at masking and also they have 30 kids in a class so can't possibly observe each one individually (unless the signs of ASD are very obvious). We should get a letter in the next few weeks so not long now.