Feel deflated !!

[lollipoprainbow]

Had a meeting with my dd senco team today. She is on the ASD pathway. I have awful trouble getting her ready for school she is in year 4 so I invariably end up getting her ready. She also likes to come home and have tea in her room where it is quiet. They have previously told me that she must get herself ready and must eat her tea with me. When I told them today that this wasn't happening the meeting was more or less stopped and the senco lead said ' I think we will leave it there' I also told them I had sought outside advice from an autistic forum which didn't go down well either. She then said that my dd was due to start play therapy tomorrow but now doesn't feel it's appropriate until she had 'gathered more information' . I feel awful and like I have let my dd down. I wish I had kept my mouth shut about seeking outside advice and lied about the dressing for school and tea but I feel it's best to be honest.

Okay my initial is who the fuck do they think they are? You are in charge not them...well actually it supposed to be collaboration.

The behaviours you describe are normal with ASD honestly whilst you want to help your DD function as much as possible in the neurotypical world.

How dare they punish your daughter by with holding support because you haven't achieved some frankly arbitrary tasks.

Also children particularly girls with ASD often mask at school all day so it's perfectly fine for your DD to decompress by having some quiet time.

This sounds dreadful.

Who else was at the meeting other than the Senco?

If I were you, I think I would email the Senco, plus whoever else was at the meeting, and ask them to explain why they withdrew the offer of play therapy, why they closed the meeting down, and why they seemed to dislike the fact you had sought external advice from an autism agency.

clocks suggestion is good and more measured than my WTF. It also gives you evidence for a complaint.

If you haven't already research ASD in girls, I honestly wouldn't be worried about either of the behaviours they are concerned about unless she can't get dressed at all or you don't want her eating in her room because of mess or danger.

It was the senco manager and her teacher. They seem to want her to behave in the same way as a NT child! I'm a busy single working mum and I haven't the time or energy to argue about getting dressed for school in the morning plus she gets incredibly distressed. I emailed the senco manager as soon as I got home, I was so upset!

Have you heard anything back from your email OP?

It doesn't sound to me like you are failing your DD. What do you think you should be doing about the issues you've discussed?

Unfortunately a lot of teachers even SENCOs have little training on SEN you can actually be a SENCO for the first 3 years without any training after that it's a part time course for a year so it's not going to be able to cover everything. And they are human so will get things wrong.

Who is she to say your daughter must do this and she must do that, it’s not even in school time.

Bizarre! Get them told to keep their beak out of outside school arrangements.

I dress my 7 year old, clean his teeth, wipe his bum, cut his food, I even sometimes spoon feed him! I do much more for him than he does for himself. Partly because he can’t / refuses to do a lot but the other part is I pick my battles and you do whatever you have to do to make life easier.

She won’t like the fact you have sought outside advice because they’ll be scared to death you’re going to ask them for something.

I would of been upset too. I hope she responds to your email x

I had a reply and she said the play therapy had been put on hold until we get an official diagnosis so that it can be tailored to her exact needs which i suppose makes sense.

@danni0509 you have to pick your battles I agree!!