Advice please - 6 year old challenging behaviour at school

[Midgeymoo12]

Looking for support and advice.

My 6 year old in year 1 is having major behavioural problems in school. This has been an underlying issue since preschool but has reached crisis point recently. From being quite settled at school over lockdown - perhaps due to the smaller class size - things have deteriorated over the past month. He is hyperactive, noisy, often won’t follow instructions and disruptive. He has damaged items in class and on some occasions been rough with other children - there was one bite incident in reception, nothing specific since.

Academically he is very bright and despite lockdown and his behavioural problems, his reading and maths ability is beyond his age.

We have started the process with paediatrics and he is going to be assessed for ADHD / autism spectrum. He doesn’t seem to fall neatly into either category but the more time goes on the more I feel there is an underlying issue / perhaps and element of both.

At home he isn’t easy but his main difficulty is school.

School have provided 1:1 teaching assistant and are going to go down the EHCP route. Unfortunately this has led to him now being virtually isolated with his teaching assistant and all but excluded from school life. We have been asked to take him in directly rather than queue. Most of his time is spent in a small room with the TA. He is missing most break times and even take his lunch in the room with the TA. They just comment he is too excited / it is too much for him. He loves to play and misses his friends and the classroom.

From our point of view we would much rather he is supported in the class and socialising and we are really worried about the effect this isolation is having on him. He has been quite accepting of the situation but increasingly complaining he wants things to return to normal at school.

School are increasingly citing the safety of him / staff and other pupils if we question, and we don’t know where to turn.

@Midgeymoo12

Unfortunately in my experience it doesn’t get any better.

The school sound shit. They say it’s too much for him, but in reality speaking from experience it’s because he is disrupting the other children’s education so they will do everything possible to keep him isolated to not impact upon the other children and the teacher so she can just get on and teach the others.

My son has spent 3 years being isolated, separate room with his support staff, excluded from breaks / lunches / assemblies / sports days etc etc. Has to use the staff toilet, eats alone, plays alone etc. Very rare for him to even enter into the classroom and rare for him to have any contact with the actual teacher he just gets baby sat by the teaching assistants.

He doesn’t have anyone to play with, he has no friends, it’s just him and the adults. It’s disgusting and has been a long term arrangement, I’ve complained countless times to the school, I’ve phoned the local authority / spoken to the educational psychologist (you can read all my posts on here, it stems back years!) all I get is ds gets overwhelmed and we also have to consider everyone’s safety.

He’s never been included in anything and I’ve been told by ipsea and sendiass we have grounds for disability discrimination. He has been treat dreadfully.

He leaves next friday and is moving to a specialist school where I’ve made clear from the get go he is to be included from the start. The new school were shocked when I explained how it’s been at his current school.

His autism consultant was furious about the lack of social contact he gets in school.

You need to have a meeting with the school and tell them you aren’t happy about any of it. It’s really bad for your son socially for this to continue.

Apply for his ehcp but to be quite honest ds has had one for years and it just pays for his support staff and the rest gets illegally ignored. He’s supposed to join in x y and z for his social development as one of the pointers on his ehcp I know 100% that is ignored and the rest they decide to ignore.

Was a deciding factor in moving him.

Please speak up or they will continue and meanwhile it’s doing irreparable damage to your sons mental health / social development x

So to cut it short as I have a tendency to babble, I do apologise!

To start with, you need -

To request a meeting ASAP with the school Senco.

Find out how far along they are with the ehcp application.

You need to tell senco you are not happy with current arrangements and you are not happy with the amount of isolation taking place.

(For reference, I would have had no issue with ds being taken off for 1-1 time away from the class at intervals but that’s not what happened he was completely segregated like a wild animal for the whole school day.)

The EHCP process should not only identify your child's needs but also how they must be supported. The current situation is obviously not great, but does provide indisputable evidence of your child's difficulties.

I would make sure you request assessments by OT and SALT (an Educational Psychologist is normally automatic) so you can get a comprehensive assessment and detailed provision to go in EHCP.

I am trying to word this right, but do you think the school will work towards supporting him back into the classroom? My own experience was not positive (my 8 year old could display disruptive behaviour and has ASD ADHD and sensory) but his school were also trying to block the EHCP.

The law does support parental preference particularly when naming a mainstream so if you want him to stay that is the most likely outcome.

I would always say it doesn't hurt to consider all options, if only to reinforce that a change would not be beneficial.

If the school haven't actually submitted a request to the LA apply for EHCP yourself, now. That way you know it is done ASAP. Don't wait for the school to do it.

Danni if DS' EHCP wasn't being followed and it is specific and quantified you could have gone to Judicial Review to enforce it.

Gosh I could of written your post! My 5 year old son hasn’t been in the classroom for over a year, he has also been on a reduced timetable for most of his time at school since September. We insisted he went back full time after Easter. They are continually pushing to go back on a reduced timetable. My son isn’t aggressive and is bright but has high school anxiety and is oppositional. Not diagnosed but suspected ASD He will throw a toy or shout when stressed out refuses to do as he’s told. he’s been passed around to anyone that has the free time to babysit him at school for months. Thankfully 🙏 his EHCP has been agreed and he is moving to a smaller more specialist provision in September after his current school said they would not and could not meet his needs. It’s been a pretty soul destroying year continually being told how awful your child is and his poor wee face coming home and he’s been told off yet again. I hope your EHCP process goes smoothly and quickly💐

@Midgeymoo12

As 10brokengreenbottles says, if school haven't already applied for the EHCNA, apply for it yourself using the model letter here:

www.ipsea.org.uk/ehc-needs-assessments

@lunkitsmum

If they continue trying to put your child on a reduced timetable, point out to them that this is unlawful exclusion.

www.ipsea.org.uk/pages/category/exclusion-from-school

Thanks for all of your advice and support.

School have employed a one to one teaching assistant this term. They have arrange an educational psychologist. Following that I believe the EHCP will go in.

We know he isn’t easy but I was really upset last week to see he had been isolated practically all day. I can’t see how this helps him or the overall situation in the long run. After discussing our worries with them, they do appear to be making efforts for him to join class and play.

It is so frustrating. We just had a great weekend away with family - not a dot of trouble from him. He is generally pretty good at home. He just seems to really struggle at school and it all comes out as “bad behaviour”. I just wish he could settle, enjoy school and his childhood.

We feel so demoralised - dread the negative feedback at the end of the school day.

Don't wait to apply for an EHCP, do it now.

@Midgeymoo12 hey it’s a long shot you will see this, how are things now? I have a six year old going through similar x

@Reedie1987

Interesting reading back through the posts! He is 9 now.

His year 1/2 wasn’t great but the school got his EHCP sorted with a high level of funding. That has really helped - brings understanding, help and I feel some protection for him as much is behavioural.

He was seen by paeds and diagnosed with severe ADHD. He started medication at 6 years and it really helps him at school. He is probably on the autism spectrum - a referral is in but I understand the wait is long and I haven’t pushed that or explored private and I think the predominant issue is ADHD.

He moved to a private school, which is great for his academic side. It hasn’t been easy and there have been many challenging and stressful times. Feels like he is settling down a lot more in year 5. He is in class for most lessons and much more aware what he finds difficult and plans / asks to leave sometimes. Still some difficulties with the social side at break times, but he is forming some nice friendships now.

Happy to answer any questions.

Thanks so much glad your little one is doing well. We have an ed phycologist in February. How did you find an ed phycologist?

school have always spoken about asd or what you would have called Asperger’s. He’s very sociable and clever but struggles with school even though it’s a small school. He has a 1:1 teacher assistant which has really helped him.

I’ve always suspected adhd but not sure how I get an assessment? The school have put in a referral for peds but I got an autism questionnaire and paperwork to fill in. I’m not sure what the adhd side looks like.

he has good days and bad - he’s very hard to calm down. It’s emotional regulation that’s the main cause for my concern.

thanks so much for any info or advice you may have - I did apply for an EHCP last year but it was turned down as he hadn’t been at school long enough.

The educational psychologist came before he was started on medication. He didn’t really engage much and apparently his behaviour was quite bad that day. I suppose that helped in being granted the EHCP. We also saw SLT and OT. The school need to collate evidence for the EHCP. It is a huge amount of work and I have sympathy with the schools.

He is so much more settled now age 9. He is present in most lessons and engages well. He does have 1:1 support - particularly good when he needs to come out of lessons and at break times. There are still issues but nothing major this term - so pleased.

I have really noticed he is calmer and more able to regulate his behaviour the past few months. I think this has come with some age / maturity - crudely I have heard it said ADHD children behave 2-3 years younger and that does make sense.

We were referred to paediatrics regarding ADHD. He had a consultation and a QB test. That happened quickly age 6. The autism pathway is different and much longer I believe - we have been waiting 6-12 months on that and not heard anything. Disgraceful for our children who need help and early intervention. I have some friends who have gone down the private route but I know this is very expensive.

@Reedie1987 request another EHCNA and appeal if refused. Unfortunately, the LA acted unlawfully if they refused because DS had only just started school. That is not the legal threshold. The school doesn’t need 2+ terms of evidence for an EHCNA. The only lawful test is a) has or may have SEN, and b) may need special educational provision to be made via an EHCP. It is a relatively low threshold for an EHCNA.

@Midgeymoo12 im so glad your son is making progress and enjoying school. That’s great, it’s nice to know you’re not alone - he’s my one and only so all I know is him if that makes sense. With the ADHD diagnosis do you get the meds on prescription from your doctor? I know there are different types etc.

I’m hoping that the Ed Pych will be the last report for the EHCP before we can apply again. The school are great they try the hardest they can, it’s so awful kids are just left in waiting lists etc especially when they are so little and you want them to have a good relationship with school. His OT thinks he has sensory professing issues, he finds school very overwhelming and is anxious although he dosnt communicate this to me. With the meds your son is in do you feel they make a difference? Does he taken them just Monday to Friday. Are there any specifics you think I should ask the ed psychologist? Just wondering if there was anything you would recommend x

We went via NHS. He has medication everyday but we give a lower dose at the weekend. From my understanding you do not need any diagnosis to get a EHCP. The medication makes a big difference in terms of hyperactivity / opposition / impulsivity.

Not sure how much a psychologist will indicate a specific diagnosis as they will direct you to paediatrician / psychiatry for that.

I can recommend Alysia at the Nuture Garden as someone to talk to and help you understand the system / help you navigate.

@Reedie1987 you don’t need to wait for the EP report before requesting another EHNCA. You can make the request now.