Looks like we're off to special school!

[Jimjams]

We realised at the statementing meeting that the school are not able to meet ds1's needs. They agree he can't, and have just spoken to his NHS SALT who also agrees that they can't. They are trying their best- but he's too complex. (I think he's complex even for people who know autism). Anyway looks like we're all going to try and get him in special school. No idea how to do this- I think I need to talk to the Ed Psych, but she's the one who originally said he wasn't suitable for special school as he was coping in a mainstream nursery (although the nursery was mainstream the training and expertise in there wasn't as the owner/manager is one of those mad people who loves autism and had learned a lot about it and had sent herself on lots of training-out of her own pocket).

Anyway rang the SENCO to tell her- and I think she almost fell off her chair but do want this to remain friendly- and restraint cock ups aside I do know they have tried their best.

So bets in please- how long do you reckon it'll take to get him a place? 2 years??

Hi Jimjams. Well done- this can be such a tough decision/adjustment as Davros says but I think it'll have fantastic outcome. I really reckon this could be great call for ds1, hon. The overwhelming majority of special schools I've been in absolutely rock. There's just no way mainstream can compete in terms of designing a specialist curriculum around the whole child and having the right specialist staff to deliver it, as Christie says.

In terms of getting a place... school and parent saying the same thing gets many brownie points, IME, so you're right on the money there. If you do find yourself waiting and are feeling strong enough consider 'lobbying' the special school direct. Arrange a visit with your boy and make it clear to the head that you think it's the perfect place for him, provide copies of his paperwork (the LEA will do this but can be slow) ring them every couple of weeks to ask (politely)when he'll start. Everyone says that special schools have no control over their intake and it's up to the LEA but believe me if head teachers have a child in mind as a good fit for their school things can move fast.

Hope it all zooms along for you guys.

not much to add to lots of sensible thoughts already. Have you got TIME to be doing all this now?
will your ds2 go to ds1's mainstream school, is that another reason to try and keep things calm and friendly?
The special school our ds1 could possibly end up at (or have outreach from) provides door to door transport - would yours?
hope it all goes quickly - GOOD LUCK!!!

sorry missed this

Just wanted to say I was dead against the idea of my dd going to special school until I went to one, read the ofsted reports and realised that the special school environment actually was quite lovely and suited her better.

My dd has been in mainstream nursery without support and fitted in fine, no problems whatsoever. The amount she actually learns at special school though is amazing. Yes it is PECs mania at dd's school too. Infact dd is doing really well with pecs now even after only one term. The facilities at special school are IME usually excellent. Staff ratio's are very good. At my dd's school it for moderate/severe learning disabilities and complex learning disabilities and they seem very enuthiastic about trying 'new' things and just seem to know what buttoins to press. They go swimming, hydrotherapy, jacuzzi and horseriding every week and have school trips out and about regular/ I just5 cant praise the school enough, they are brilliant.

Sorry if I am waffling but I am sure you will feel alot more relaxed once he is settled in an environment which he feels is suitable and meets all his needs properly. Most special schools are for inclusion now anyway, so ds will most probably have an outreach place at mainstream too.

Agree with davros though, it is very hard to begin with. I took a few big gulps when I sent my dd to special, but she is a very happy bunny and is doing so well now.

If you want to ask me anything, just e-mail and I will try to answer any of your questions. My dd's school has a website too, if you wanted to look at it?

we get door to door transport too, it is SO useful! and it is really social experience for the kids

sorry about my typing, I cut my finger this morning and my typing has gone haywire!

Good point Fio makes about transport, you just don't get any with m/s but its a godsend for DS! As I have some flexibility I let him go on the school bus every morning as there's little benefit in being at the school yourself at the beginning of the day and once he's off I can get started on whatever I need to do. Before DD came along I used to collect him every day, then changed it to coming home on the bus every day when late stages of pregnancy and after DD born. Now I collect him 3 times a week, that way I get to be in touch with what's going on at school, chat to the staff and we go straight out to trampolining one of those days (DD with babysitter/nanny who I pay with DPs). The staff on the bus are great and sing songs, decorate the bus at Xmas and really love the kids. Maybe, if there's places at the Special school you mentioned, he could get in there for January and it would help you a lot with the new baby, not having to juggle all that coming and going.

I have been dreaming of passing him onto the escort still in dressing gown......

Tried the ed psych- not available until tomorrow afternoon (grrr these people) so left another message. And have phoned and left a message for the autism outreach leader (she's really good).

Have you got CCTV trained on my front door? There was a 50s kitchen sink drama called "Woman in a Dresing Gown", its being remade and called "Davros" (male lead Jude Law of course)

LOL @ silky dressing gown!!! I was very very close this morning. DD's bus comes at 8am, and I have ran out with jeans just put on with pyjama top, hair and teeth unbrushed

davros is right, the escorts are lovely! they buy them christmas presents and birthday presents too (obv I feel obliged to buy christmas presents back!!! but I am lucky as she only has one mad escort at the moment)

Our dd's school splits the children by charachter (iykwim) onto seperate buses. So if you have a child who is a bit of a scardey cat (like my dd) they wont put them on a bus with very agressive children or anything like that. i know that sounds stupid but it is something you do start to worry about. The journey aswell, i used to worry about that as dd goes 8 miles away in a big city so traffic is horrendous in the morning.

see I am full of useless facts about transport

Post section, dripping milk, sleep deprived I'm sure the sight of me in a dressing gown would be enough to make anyone feel quite ill

Do they have single seats. DS1 will love going on a bus but I'm a bit worried he would pinch a child next to him if traffic lights stayed red for too long......

hehehe

they sit some children by themselves

Our fancy bus, since the school moved, has a track in the floor and they can configure the seats however they want. Fixed ones do seem to have an option to sit separately or toghether, I think most on DS's bus sit separately, it also depends on how big the bus is, we used to have huge buses with 5 kids, now its a tight fit!

It's by no means certain he would pinch another child tbh- he pinches ds2, but then he pinches ds2 all the time (and never- touch wood- pinches other children). He may also be so excited by being on a bus that he wouldn't worry about the traffic lights.....

but first- we need to get that elusive ss place. Christie- I think a similar thing may have happened in our first choice school- apparently some children have just left the class he would be in (to move up to a different class or something) so they may have spaces at the moment.

well so far so good. The ed psych rang and his name is now being put forward for the SLD panel- which means he will be considered for the 2 schools we are interested in. If there are places at either/or we then visit with and without him and make our decision. The panel meeting is 24 November- so please cross your fingers for us. The ed psych said not to quote her but she thinks there is a place available (of course no idea whether anyone else is going for it).

Just popped in to get an update and you've had me giggling about dressing gowns and single seating!
Fingers crossed Jimjams that you won't have to wait too long then. [hopeful emoticon]

Fingers crossed and possitive vibes being sent

Good luck Jimjams. Fingers crossed you get the result you want

Good luck jimjams!

I've crossed everything for you Jimjams.

me too.

Good, things are sounding positive for you, good luck

jimjams this all sounds very positive and whatever happens short term at least you know your son is happy at his mainstream school.

FWIW, (and very different scenario I know) every time I have been told about a possible upcoming school/nursery place for my sons, a place has been forthcoming. I think if you were told of likely vacancies, that is very hopeful. People don't like putting themselves on the line for nothing IM(limited)E.

Hope it all works out, and that the magic bus turns up on your doorstep very soon

Magic bus???? Think I need the miracle working bus DS1's teacher told me I was looking very relaxed and well today- then had to take a step back as I kind of screeched "what what I'm stressed up to the eyeballs- the more stressed I get the more people tell me I'm looking well". I then realised I was looking and sounding rather manic so tried to extract myself gracefully. Failing miserably of course.

That happened to me during my second pregnancy - decorating the house, working a 60 hour week - yet people kept saying how marvelously healthy I looked. Grr...

ROFL - the rise in blood pressure must do something to the pregnant complexion.