Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

Original poster

Looks like we're off to special school!

52 replies

Jimjams · 02/11/2004 12:21

We realised at the statementing meeting that the school are not able to meet ds1's needs. They agree he can't, and have just spoken to his NHS SALT who also agrees that they can't. They are trying their best- but he's too complex. (I think he's complex even for people who know autism). Anyway looks like we're all going to try and get him in special school. No idea how to do this- I think I need to talk to the Ed Psych, but she's the one who originally said he wasn't suitable for special school as he was coping in a mainstream nursery (although the nursery was mainstream the training and expertise in there wasn't as the owner/manager is one of those mad people who loves autism and had learned a lot about it and had sent herself on lots of training-out of her own pocket).

Anyway rang the SENCO to tell her- and I think she almost fell off her chair but do want this to remain friendly- and restraint cock ups aside I do know they have tried their best.

So bets in please- how long do you reckon it'll take to get him a place? 2 years??

OP posts:
Hulababy · 02/11/2004 12:23

Sorry, no advice but good luck. I hoep everything is settled in the soonest amount of time possible for your DS, and for you too

Davros · 02/11/2004 12:24

Oh Jimjams, sorry to hear this. I know its all about meeting his needs and what's best for him but its a hard thing to accept for a parent.
[[[]]] rare hugs!

jakbrown · 02/11/2004 12:26

What a day, Jimjams. Did you say there is a suitable special school nearby? Have you got a specific school in mind that you think would suit his needs? I've no experience of this as my dd is deffo earmarked for an SLD school. However I do have experience of fighting the LEA/ getting statements ammended etc. I love that word, 'complex', if I had a tenner for everytime my dd has been described as 'complex' I'd be rich-ish!

Dingle · 02/11/2004 12:28

Oh Jimjams, the more I read here, the more downhearted I get-the system stinks.Surely if that's what he needs........but you can't be serious about the time span, CAN YOU!!!!

jakbrown · 02/11/2004 13:00

Surely they can't leave him at MS for two years if they have declared it is not suitable?!

RnB · 02/11/2004 13:22

Message withdrawn

coppertop · 02/11/2004 13:25

Oh no. I hope they don't drag the whole process out for too long.

onlyjoking9329 · 02/11/2004 13:30

jimjams did you get it in writing that they are unable to meet his needs, that wafted under LEA bods nose will be enuff to get your son a place,
how do you feel about it all

Original poster
Jimjams · 02/11/2004 14:11

Well I still think we made the correct decision given our initial options- the autism unit would not have been suitable (heard some more horror stories about it this morning) and we weren't offered MLD/SLD. it was mainstream or unit.

There are 2 SLD schools we have in mind. The SLD/PMLD might be better as it is heavily into PECS. The head loves PECS and is really enthusiastic. PECS has made a huge difference at home. The other SLD school uses PECS as well just not quite so much. I'll talk to the ed psych tomorrow. I'm not worried at the moment as he's happy where he is- it's just not a long term option- also think a short phased transition would be good if possible.

OP posts:
Original poster
Jimjams · 02/11/2004 14:12

onlyjoking its in the statement review- and also something they've been saying since September.....

OP posts:
blossomhill · 02/11/2004 14:15

Hi Jimjams

I can really sympathise as we were in a similar situation when dd was at ds's schools nursery.
It was such a hard decision to make and I had all mixed up emotions but like you knew dd wasn't coping at all in that setting. As you know dd has benefitted so much from the specialists setting and I am sure your ds will too.
In our case we had to wait for the admissons meeting which was in the May, for admission in September. I believe dd's school has 2 admissions meetings a year. Do you have an idea which school would be suitable for ds and do you have choices as we didn't. It was this one as it was the only one for children with speech and language disorders.
Please CAT me if you want anymore info
Blossomhill

tamum · 02/11/2004 14:30

Jimjams, didn't you say that you visited a special school recently that was fab? Is that the PECS-enthusiasts one? I can't help feeling that your life might be a lot less stressful if you were dealing with people who were specialists instead of you having to educate everyone. I know that's not the point really, but I can see how there might be a positive side. I really hope it works out well.

dinosaur · 02/11/2004 14:33

Well, good luck Jimjams, I really hope it doesn't take tooooo long to get somewhere suitable.

Easy · 02/11/2004 14:51

JimJams,
I know you have said in the past that you didn't want to go down the route of special school, but I think it's best in the long run.
As you know my step-son (now 22!!!) is auti. He was diagnosed age 3, and was really pretty severe at that time (I didn't know him then, but have read the psychologists reports and so forth.

My dh gave up his job in Swindon and moved back to Nottingham, because there was an excellent special school here. SS went in there at 5, and stayed in the special unit right thru'. Throughout his school career he was always in a 1-to-2 or 1-to-3 staff to pupil environment, all the staff qualified.

By the time I met him at 12 he was quite a communicative boy. His behaviour was good, he participated in everything we did. He got (I think) 3 GCSE'S and stayed in school until he was 18.

Now he lives in a sheltered accommodation unit, where he shares a flat with another young man. They largely care for themselves, cooking cleaning etc. Rob works 3 days a week, and he spent last year in college, gaining an NVQ in horticulture, and one in Use of English. A couple of months ago he bought himself an electric guitar and amp.

Sorry, it sounds like boasting, but my dh firmly believes that Rob would not have developed anything like as well without the special school environment. the 'hot-housing' has done a great deal to allow him to reach his potential. Throughout, he was happy, safe and challenged.

I hope you manage to find a place for your ds soon.

Love to you.

SueW · 02/11/2004 14:58

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at OP's request.

Easy · 02/11/2004 15:05

Just realised, Rob was only 9 when I met him.

Doesn't time fly?

dizzyone · 02/11/2004 16:38

Hello Jimjams, My dd3 who is asd, attends a mld/sld school. There are children there who are autistic, some with very severe problems. Those children are in small classes of 6 with a teacher and 2 support workers. I presume all schools like this would have similar ratios? From the time my dd3 statement process was started to the time she began school at 4 took about 6 months. Maybe as your child already has a statement, the time scale should be a lot less. Once you have written reports from those involved, your LEA must act quickly and find a suitable placement. Could you get the EP to talk to his current teachers and observe/assess him in the classroom? From my own experience the EP's report carried the most clout iyswim.

I do hope you get the placement you need soon.

maddiemo · 02/11/2004 16:50

I also hope its the school that you recently mentioned.
I don't think it will actually take that long now that the school feel unable to meet his needs.
As you know my ds3 is in unit provision and has been since the age of 3(now 6). Like easy I do not believe my son would be the child he is now without this support. The Deputy Head said the other day that he would have been a failure in mainstream and I know this is true.
It is a big move for you and ds1 from mainstream to special, but hopefully this will provide him with the opportunity to learn all round skills for life and learning in a way that is right for him.
I really feel for you, just typing this makes be feel emotional so I can only imagine how you must feel.
Take care

Twiglett · 02/11/2004 16:56

good luck Jimjams .. fingers crossed that he'll get a place next week

onlyjoking9329 · 02/11/2004 17:01

my twin dd's go to a special needs school in nottm, they can stay there until they are 19, which school was your ss at easy? they are closing one special school soon and moving others around

Original poster
Jimjams · 02/11/2004 19:39

well I have phoned the ed psych and left a message (as has the school). She is absolutely useless though imo - and was the person who said she wouldn't recommend him for special school originally (we've always been open to the idea but her not recommending him effectively put a spanner in the works at the time).

I have also heard indirectly (friend of a friend) that the school we have in mind only has 5 children in ds1's class at the moment (with 4 teachers). They have a maximum of 1:2 ratio there- so it sounds as if there are places in his age group- and apparently the next placement panel meeting is end of November. I will try the ed psych again tomorrow.

I spoke to one of ds1's LSA's this evening (rang her) - she has an autistic son - so we tend to talk parent to parent iykwim- and she thinks is it the right decision. She's good but I don't think she would be hanging around at ds1's school as there is a lot that she finds difficult going on in there (misunderstandings about autism in the main).

TBH I don't feel all that concerned- he's happy going into school still so I don't feel desperate to get him out, and hopefully there are options for us. I'll get stressed if those come to nothing but at the moment feel fine about it.

OP posts:
jakbrown · 02/11/2004 19:41

Really glad to hear that, Jimjams. Sounds like things could work out...

jakbrown · 02/11/2004 19:42

Sorry, hope I didn't sound too, 'wow, brilliant' then... I know it's really difficult, just meant it's great that the school potentially has places and that you're feeling OK about it all. Paranoia!

Original poster
Jimjams · 02/11/2004 20:26

chill jakbrown- I got over the whole wanting him to be mainstream material years ago We've always just wanted him to go to the best place for him on offer. Strangely that was initially mainstream....... Keep your fingers crossed for us

OP posts:
hmb · 02/11/2004 20:29

The ratio of staff to students sounds excellent Jimjams, and I would think it would help your ds no end to have that level of imput from another adult (other than you and your dh). He could get the sort of education that he needs tailored to hos specific needs. As you said he is a compex case and if he was in a normal sized class that couldn't happen.

I hope that you get the outcome that you want and that he needs.