running away from school

[PennyLaneIsInMyEars]

I know we just had a full moon and everyone's going a little loopy but I'm dealing with some issues with my DD with ASD. She's in a small specialist class with a few class mates and her teacher seems on the whole to be a good guy with his heart in the right place. She (DD) tends to run away from school, don't really know if this is elopement but does seem to happen especially when we're having a stressful time at home and she then can't focus on her lessons. I have an agreement with the teacher that he can call me if she (DD)says she's going to run home/ wants to go home. I find it so stressful as we can go for weeks with no call and then unexpectedly I have to drop everything to meet my DD who has decided to leave school. Obviously there are multiple times a day/week when she asks to go home and the teacher successfully distracts and re-engages her with the lessons which are complete non-events.

She's been doing really well in the class and making loads of progress but this week she's been saying she wants to come home and I know it's probably partly due to my stress at home which she is picking up on.
The teacher or the TA usually follows her if she leaves the classroom with her coat and says she is going home and they tend to get the receptionist to call me and say she wants to go home and could I come pick her up (I am close enough that I could meet DD in town). The issue is I just wondered do other people have this problem where their child asks to go/runs home and what does the school tend to do? I just want to think about how we move forward with this or if this is just how she (DD) is always going to be.

There are several issues here. It shouldn't be possible for your DD to leave school and run home. This is a safeguarding issue. You need to raise this with the school and ask what they intend to do to keep your DD safe.

School shouldn't be ringing you to pick her up either. Assuming she is of statutory school age, she should be in school full time. What happens when she meets you? Do you take her home or straight back to school?

The fact that DD is doing this regularly could be because the school is no longer meeting her needs. It may be that she needs a different school. You could ask for an early Annual Review or a reassessment of needs:

www.ipsea.org.uk/asking-for-an-early-review-of-an-ehc-plan

www.ipsea.org.uk/asking-for-a-re-assessment-of-a-child-or-young-persons-needs

I'm wondering what else I can ask the school to do to keep her in school (short of physically restraining her of course). They usually distract her and get her to re-engage with lessons and activities but she will run out of school/around the school with a member of staff following at a distance. She's low academically and has a customised curriculum. They're offering her subjects she's interested in with a high level of adult support, I'm just frustrated and wondered if there are any other good examples, what else can be done in this situation?

She resists following instructions at home never mind at school, wont come to the supermarket or follow a set lesson at school. She wants friends but noone really wants to be her friend. She's a teenager who has interests in toys designed for toddlers which has been hard for me to come to terms with, its hard for her to make friends her age. I wanted her to be accommodated for at the local school. Isn't anyone else in this situation where their child runs out of school? What do they do i.e. have a lock on the classroom door?

Well to be honest the school needs to be looking at their security arrangements. They have a statutory duty to keep her safe.

How is she getting out? Do they need to put high locks on the doors, put security fencing round the school or what?

It's a secondary.

So they go to mainstream classes with mainstream teachers at least once a day and anyway I don't really like the idea of her being locked in the classroom.

I thought from what you said earlier it was a special school. If she's at a MS secondary there will only be so much they can do.

Maybe you need to consider if she's in the right place, especially as she wants friends and her peer group is so vastly different from her. Have you asked the school what they think?

Hi, not an experience I've had I'm afraid. She's at a specialist provision within a mainstream, right?

But I would echo previous comments. The school needs better fences as a child is being put at risk. Most secondary schools now have fences that are fully locked during the day.

Further, you do need to ask for an emergency review. The placement sounds as if it is not meeting her needs. If she is not learning and she is putting herself in danger through absconding, she needs a change of some kind. This might be a change in placement or a change in strategy. Find out if the absconding is happening during mainstream of specialist lessons. If it's the mainstream one, she needs to stop going. If its across all lessons, different demands.

Though it does sound like it is home, not school, driving the running away. Is that fair? If so, could you do anything differently for her in the home?

All of these things could be the focus of the review. By sitting around a table with professionals that know her well, perhaps you can come to a conclusion that works for all.