ASD or normal toddler behaviour

[threelilmonkeys]

Please bare with me, may be a little long. My son is now 4 and a half.

He started talking at 2 years, 3 word sentences at 2.5.
When he was a baby he hated being touched, cuddles or comforted, this stopped at 3 years and now loves a cuddle. From 2 years we were unable to change routines, things had to be done a certain way or he would shout, get angry but not physically. This has calmed a lot however there are still occasions where a small change he will show he is bothered by it, I have also got better at just prepping him with what we are doing that day and doing countdowns until an activity is to end.

He has had a stutter for the last 9 months and will say random things from the TV/radio, you can be having a conversation and he will say a phrase at the end of the conversation. This is a handful of times a day.

He was not very good at roleplay growing up, he would just copy scenes from the TV or set up a train track but not play with it, this has improved a little since his younger sister is able to play with him and has shown him how to play in a different way, kind of like he copies her.

Every night when he goes to bed his teddies have to be in a line, same order every night and say the same phrase after we have tucked him in, he has done this for nearly a year and a half.

Noises he is OK with however he will not allow the TV or Radio to be too loud (seems to quite like them quiet).

My partner comes home from work and he has to go up and do 'Quiz News' (just a made up quiz) or he gets upset. He also says the same thing when he goes to work everyday. We are also lucky if he waves bye to him once a week out of days

Please is this ASD traits or normal toddler behavior?

He is also due a call from SLT mid May do I mention these other traits or leave it?

Hi threelilmonkeys That's quite a few little things, each one by itself is small but I can see how they might possibly add up. I can't say if that's an ASC or just toddler things he'll grow out of but if you're worried then I would raise them with the SLT.

Espeically if you are having to do a lot of prep to manage schedules and transitions for him that's worth mentioning, sometimes after a long time we parents do it automatically without noticing or knowing if it's more than most children his age would need.

I agree I would definitely mention these things. They are relevant and even if he doesn't have ASC there may still be ASC ways of parenting that would help him (in fact it sounds like you are already doing a lot of them!)

If he is 4.5 did he start school this year, or will he be one of the oldest starting in September? It would be useful to know what his school (or pre-school) think if he is at one? If he isn't at nursery/pre-school/school yet, then it might be worth discussing that with the SLT (e.g. how you can help with the transition to school: it may be worth phoning the school already to see if their SENCO can help with that and keep an eye on him when he starts, as it sounds as though that transition may be a bit tricky?)

Hi LightTripper, He will be starting school this September and he didn't go to nursery, we had planned for him to go but because of Covid and everything we decided not to.

I have started talking to him about School and we went and did the walk to school with him at the weekend so he knows what to expect already. He can be very full on when playing with his sister, he dosn't seem aware of when she is not interested in playing with him or of personal space (I am not sure if they are aware of this at 4yrs), he also dosn't react if anyone hurts themselves either, he just walks away with not a care in the world.

He also is really good with myself Mon-Fri but when my partner is home all day at the weekend he seems a different kid, routine does go out the window a little and he just seems lost and irritated a lot.

Sorry....what is SENCO?

Hm you've added a few more social skills issues and routine issues there. It is definitely worth raising with them SALT and also with the school as LightTripper says, because he could struggle when he starts if the school are not aware. The SENCO is the school special needs co-ordinator - SENCOs exist in England but not Scotland so it depends where you live.

He sounds very much like my ds and he was diagnosed with asd earlier this year. He's 8 now. He went for assessment age 4 and they discharged him (with my agreement) because he had lots of little traits but none were causing him any difficulties. However he started school and lots more traits appeared over the years. Definitely mention the things you've said here. Good luck.