Advise needed on structuring day

[jerikaka]

ds1(4yr) has as. I often feel that I should be more structured in his day. He has nursery every day, for 2 and a half hours. How much structure do you have in your day? Do you think it is a help or hinderance and does anyone know of a preschool syllabus for children with as? Am I trying too hard? It's sometimes just a struggle to get through the day with his behaviour, so I am not sure if this would help or not. Does anyone have any experience they can share with me?

I must admit that when I was at home most of the day with my ASD DS (also aged 4) it sent me a bit mad as it is all so repetitive. Have you thought of giving a home ABA program a go, and finding some tutors to do a couple of hours with him a few times a week. It has been a fantastic thing for me and my boy has learned so much, in terms of words and better behaviour. I have also found the Baby bumblebee dvd's very good, though at first I had to force him to watch them - but now he actively wants to watch them and they definitely taught him to count. Or if you have a computer, teaching him mouse skills on some site he loves could be good - my DS loves the pixar site as they have little clips of toy story, monsters inc etc. I think I know what you are going through though.

I have to agree that, as much as anything, ABA gave DS's day structure.... and mine! I think with AS/ASD plenty of structure at a young age is better as, if he's anything like my DS, he simply can't occupy his time (fruitfully or otherwise!). You could think up a repertoire of activities for you to do with him, not so you are always busy and stresed with no free time, but a few things you can conjure up over a week. I am thinking of a simple shopping trip, visit to a cafe, local playground if the weather is nice. You could use these as opportunities for him to learn something too BUT, if his behaviour makes these ideas impossible then what about booking up a music therapy session once a week or finding local SN activities like trampolining? You may not have these easily available in your area though but we used to have a whole patchwork of things like this that kept me going AND really helped me learn to be with him and to take him out but not in a way that was far too difficult and unrealistic. We needed to be going somewhere specific at first and I saw my task as getting him there and back. I really needed practice to do things with him as it had been impossible. By doing this I got more confidence and could then try more mundane things with him and then, over time I found SN activities where other parents are not only understanding but friendly.

I just find that unless I use pecs cards to structure his day, all he wants to do is watch TV or play on the cbeebies web site. Which has brought his language on (he has significant speech delay too) but is not really what i feel we should be doing, but then I don't know what we should be doing. He starts school next year and the head teacher is very keen on the idea of them having their own agenda and doing things when they want to, but the portage help we recieved kept saying how he shouuld be obeying instructions, getting himself dressed, blah blah blah. To be honest I feel in a complete spin with everything that has happened over the past four years. I should probably be going to get my head sorted before trying to sort him! :-)
Not sure we could afford ABA, I have heard it's quite expensive and that it's not worth doing it unless you go for it full time. I am on the committee for a local NAS group to network with other SN parents, but we have only just set up and there is so much that we want to do that it's difficult to know what to do first!
We do have a playgroup for SN children at the local SN school which has been a lifeline. especially to know that you won't be stared and talked about when your child looses the plot!

It's definitely worth doing ABA even part time. The cost and idea of doing 35+ hours a week put me off for years. Starting part time ABA when ds1 was 5 was the best thing we did (I now pay tutors from direct payments so it's not too expensive either). He's now 8 and does an hour after school each day (not so much ABA these days-we're doing something else, but we couldn't have done this something else without the ABA- and he still does ABA as part of it iyswim). DS1 has learned a lot and it does mean he's not just wandering around the house being destructive. It's taught him to imitate which has made a huge difference, and it's given him the attentional skills which has made this other thing (trying to teach him to read and type) possible.

Jerikaka, my DS who is just 4 with HFA would play on the computer or watch Jetix most of the day if I let him. What I've found is helpful is to take him straight from nursery to another activity (with a packed lunch or tea if necessary), whether it is going to the park, a shopping trip, playdate, museum or whatever, so we don't go home and then have to go out again which he finds difficult. I've also insisted that computer time during the week is only at the end of the day, after 5pm. On days out I often offer him a choice of two destinations as he seems to respond to that much better than being told "this is what we are doing" every time.

I agree with Yurt that any ABA is definitely worth doing - people will try and say you have to do it 40 hours a week, it will disrupt family life etc etc. It's all wrong, it's the best thing we ever did! The headteacher sounds misguided - autistic kids would stick to their own agenda ALL the time, what they need to learn is how to obey instructions and do things that other people want them to do! ABA taught my boy to imitate too, and from that came words and also the ability to make him modify bad behaviours. Sorry to go on and on , but I feel like I want to tell all mums about it, just in case they miss out!

Using timetabling, PECs or otherwise, choices and timers are all good ideas. But to do them properly it needs a bit of labouriously input at first. I know I am as bad as anyone else about being on top of PECs etc. Maybe introduce one of these ideas at a time, less work for you that way and then possible to adapt if necessary and add in another aspect in time?

That is great advise. Thank you!