did you manage to bf you dc? if not do you get pissed of when judged?

[2shoes]

I get so fed up when I read stiff about how wonderful bf is. now I tried with ds all went wrong and have to say my only concern with dd was that she lived. not how she was fed.
I really feel for mums with sn children who are already struggling to get by. then on top of that they have the bf versus ff to contend with.
Sorry to rant. I am lucky to not feel any guilt or sadness about not bf but I wonder how I would have felt if I had used mn back then.

NO I didn't manage & yes I do get pissed off when judged by others.
DS1 I think I was just crap at bf, I didn't enjoy it & he was never settled, I was v anemic & tired & I was made to feel like a complete failure when after a couple of weeks I gave up & gave him a bottle, even though once bottle fed he turned in to a content happy healthy baby with a happier mum.

Like you with ds2 we were more concerned about if he would live, I tried expressing, sitting in the milk room in SCBU smelling of milton fluid looking at a photo of ds2 & only managing to get out a dribble.
My tiny little offerings were frozen until he was well enough to be tube fed mt bm.

I can remember my aunt being horrified that I wasn't going to bf when he eventually came out of hospital "after all he's been through she said"

I am sure breast is best but for those of us that don't manage it I wish people would lay off!

2shoes, would you prefer that people didn't post about how wonderful bf has been for them if that is their experience?

I think sometimes people could word their posts better - I mean the recent thread from Alecia.

I realise this is posted in SN, so I'm possibly out of line by posting here.

I do hope that had you been using MN when your DD was a baby, you'd have had nothing but support and empathy over your feeding decision. I'm pretty sure you would've done. I've never seen a post saying "I am ffing my SN DD and feel a bit fed up about it" that's followed by "How could you?!" on here.

I bf'ed ds2 and dd but had to give up quite early on with ds1 as he never really took to it. I was/am also useless at expressing and MMM's post brought back memories of the room in SCBU with the big containers of Milton for the pump's tubing etc. TBH no-one ever commented on how ds1 was fed. I did find it hard though to get through to the MW on the ward that when I said that ds1 wasn't feeding that I meant that he wasn't feeding at all. I think they probably thought that I was a neurotic first-time mother. By the time I managed to convince them that ds1 wasn't interested in any milk at all (ff or bf) he was so dehydrated that he had to spend several days being tube-fed in the SCBU.

I don't really look at the MN feeding threads any more so have no idea what people have said about it.

hunker it was that thread that made me think about it and post on here in sn.
I wish I had had mn when ds was a baby as it might have made a difference. just having you at the end of a post would have helped I am sure.
But with dd. no one could have helped.
I am not just talking about mn but rl and I think it is good to atlk in sn about the problems we have faced(but hopefully your post will high lite that the support is there for anyone struggling.)

I couldn't breastfeed my DD, we found out later she had low muscle tone (after trying for 4 months)...I expressed most of her milk for 11 months, and I still got dirty looks when I was feeding her bottles of expressed milk in public!! So - people should really stop and think!

I breastfed ds for three and a half years because he refused to take milk from any kind of bottle or cup, and because it was the only thing that calmed him and let me get a bit of sleep. Still got judged for that though ("surely he's a bit big for that" etc) so you really can't win.

I managed with dd for 5 months despite her severe CP but when she developed epilepsy they put her on a med that caused her to lose all tone in her mouth and tongue so she couldn't suck. At the same time she went on steroids so her appetite rocketed. They gave her an NG tube and after being fed like that she never breastfed again. I was bitterly disappointed cos I fed my other 3 kids for years plus I'm very lazy and hate washing bottles.
People did say mean things in public so I had a t-shirt printed up that said she was brain damaged so they could bog off.
She's now 3 and a half, still only drinks out of a bottle cos she can't cope with a sippy cup and we still get bloody comments about her being a big girl etc etc.

I managed it for 2.5 weeks (then DS got hospitalised dehyrated and jaundiced). Liverpool isn't a very bfing city, so I never felt judged in RL, only on MN.

2shoes, you have to try and ignore the threads that are going to upset you, and concentrate on your own family. x

Ah Fio,remember you struggling a little bit recently with your baby and BFing so really glad you have turned a corner and it is working out.