Moving from cot to bed (gulp) - any advice?

[silverfrog]

We need to move dd1 from her cot to a bed. She is 3 and has ASD. She is fine and happy in her cot, and has never tried to climb out, despite being both tall enough (over 1m now) and capable enough.

We need to move her for two reasons:

1. having rearranged half the house last week we now have a single bed cluttering up another bedroom and it needs to move (only place to move it would be to put dd1 in it), and

2. we do manage fairly regular weekends away and it is impossible to get cots big enough for dd1 (hers is a very roomy cotbed) when away, she can tip travel cots (has always hated them but now its a danger)

Given that she is very happy where she is, we are anticipating teething troubles moving her. Does anyone have any tips?

what are the best bed guards? (should we even use them, or will they just be something extra for her to trip over when trying to get in asnd out?)

should we ditch her grobags at the same time? or wait and do that later (see above re tripping). If we wait, of course, its another big change at a later time...

She will have to move rooms (swapping with dd2) at the same time (impossible to make her room safe if she does decide to mess around at bedtime and on into the night, and dd2's room is easier to clear/toddlerproof and is closer to us for the inevitable middle of night return-to-bed trips)

She has always gone to bed very willingly, and sleeps well. She does not go straight to sleep, but sings/chats to herself for an hour or so before dropping off. THis, obviously is the crucial time. Can't keep her up any longer (so she goes straight to sleep) as se gets very overtired, and is more likely to play up/be distressed if she is. She does bounce around in her cot, leaning on bars etc, so this is what she will miss most.

sorry for the long rambly post - anyone who's already been through this got any advice?

my DDs don't have special needs but we didn't have any problems moving from cots.

however, i wanted to post as at a baby show last month i saw grobag are introducing a sheet with zips on and a duvet cover which zips onto the sheet, then the duvet goes inside. The pillowcase is also built in to the sheet. I thought they would be perfect for that transition from cot to bed and out of grobags.

They're not available for a few weeks - i can let you know when they do as mamatoto.co.uk (i'm an advisor) will be stocking them.

Thanks for that - dh and I were talking just the other week about a product like that and how there was a gap in the market - looks like we missed the boat for development!

Will keep a look out for it - like the principle, but think dd1 might freak out if she can't stand up and lie down as easily as in a grobag (ponders how else to transition the move out of grobags)

Have noticed that grobag now do a 3-6 years size, but tbh think that getting her the next size up will just consolidate her need for them, and what are we supposed to do after that?

the zips are only about 1/2 the length of the duvet - down the sides only, not at the bottom, so she would be able to get out of it quite easily, however she wouldn't "fall" out ifyswim.

I wasn't thinking that she would be strapped down , just that it takes a while for the penny to drop with her sometimes, and obviously it will be a different set of actions (crawl out from uner duvet a bit, make sure all limbs are free) to get up rather than just the impulsive "stand up". Sounds good, though, as will def be preferable to me getting up 10 times a night to replace fallen duvet (or fallen dd1)

bump

hopeful bump for the evening crowd

Purely from a generic sense - moving from parents bed to his own. I thought it was going to be hard, so first got his room ready, e.g. decorated it with simpson items, (lights, blankets, posters, pillows, etc). Then showed him the room and said this is your room now, your bed etc, all toys there. And totally unexpectedly he went in the bed immediately. The bed was a double bed, and I put pillows and bean bags all round in case he fell out.

Okay slightly different - he refused the cot, made out like he couldn't fit (used to show us by lying side ways). But went to his own bed real easy.

Hi silverfrog, when we moved DS from cot to bed at 2.5 we introduced the duvet first, putting him in an 0.5 tog Grobag AND the duvet for a few nights so he could get used to the duvet (and the pillow). Then we moved him (or rather, took the sides off the cot bed) over a long weekend so it didn't matter so much if anyone's sleep was disturbed. He fell out once and we went up and comforted him and gave him some milk. The next morning we found him asleep on the floor but after that he never got out again.

DS has HFA but at the time we didn't yet know.

My DS (autistic, aged 3.5) finally managed to climb out of his cotbed a couple of months ago and we really panicked as we knew he'd be climbing out all night and would be unable to get back in again if we didn't take the sides off. We went out and bought some wooden bed guards (?) from Mothercare and my DH drilled them onto the side, and when DS saw his new bed he was absolutely thrilled. He had no trouble with that transition at all, which was a very pleasant suprise.

When we move him to a single bed we'll put the sides on for a while so he doesn't really notice the difference, and then take them off once he gets used to it. I find if we do things slowly, in stages, he can cope with most things.

Oh how interesting, we have just moved DS3 - also 3, and also with ASD - from his cot to a bed!

So far so good - he's been in the bed for two weeks now and has generally been fine.

We had the bed in his room for quite a few weeks before we actually made the transition, so that he could get used to it.

A bedrail is imo essential - DS3 likes to lie pressed up against it - I think it is very reassuring for him. His is the soft mesh kind - it is comfortable to lie against.

We ditched the grobag as it was getting a bit small for him anyway and we thought he was more likely to have an accident if he tried to flounder around in it. However he still uses his cot pillow (as well as having an ordinary pillow) - he's very attached to his cot pillow and uses it like a comfort blanket, really.

The first night was kind of impromptu - he was fussing about going into the cot (which he hadn't done previously) so I just plonked him into the bed and said goodnight to him! Rather to our surprise (and that of DS1 and DS2, who were kind of standing guard on the landing) he fell asleep in the bed without ever trying to climb out and slept all night in there.

The second night he did get out and run around upstairs and DH put him back in the cot where we left him for a while until he was looking quite sleepy, then we put him in the bed where he fell asleep and again slept all night.

The third night, he again got out and started running around so back he went into the cot for a while, which he was most unhappy about.

Fourth night, again we heard him running around but he was obviously very keen NOT to be put in the cot because when he heard me coming upstairs he scampered back to his room and scrambled into the bed before I could pick him up!

That has basically been the pattern - in fact, what I do now is to shut his door - he does have two nightlights though, and the baby monitor is on, and I do go back if he sounds upset.

He has woken during the night a few times but has either gone back to sleep after a cuddle from me, or has just sung and chattered for a while and then nodded off again.

So all in all it's been much better than we thought it would be (we were absolutely dreading it).

The other great thing about bedrail is that it keeps the duvet on the bed as well as the toddler!

Oh, and should have said, DS3 always has song/story tape on until he nods off.

The last couple of nights he has tried to yank me into the bed with him - which is very sweet but which I am resisting, as I don't want him only to be able to fall asleep with me there!

Thanks for all the advice. We are still deliberating the finer points.

we have decided to ditch grobags as she is all but out of her current size and think it would be a mistake getting the next size. We have gone for fleecy sleepsuits as I reckon she'll be a long time learning to keep a duvet on! We ares tarting with them tonight, as stage one of the plan. (stage two is the scary bit - new room AND new bed)

We had decided to not have a bedrail, and let her get used to a "proper" bed, but having read of your experiences Dinosaur (how funny, we seem to be doing everything at around the same time as I eavesdropped on your potty training thread) I am having second thoughts again. Dd1 does lie pressed up against her bars and i have wondered occasionally if its sensory or lack of space. Hmmm, will think some more.

I am glad to hear that a few of you have not had really bad issues with moving from cot to bed - my worst nightmare is creating a load of sleep issues for dd1 as she has always been such a good sleeper.

Thanks again, you've all been really helpful

last night DS3 was awful and I had to get into the bed with him eventually after numerous attempts to settle him - he fell asleep on me within about 5 minutes and then I had to extricate myself! Still, he then slept all night and was in a pretty good mood this morning!

And he was even worse last night - so bad that at 2.20 am I ended up getting into his bed with him whereupon I duly fell asleep .

Then he was so tired today that he fell asleep on his 1:1 person at Children's Centre - bless!

sorry to hear it's gone a bit downhill, Dinosaur.

dd1 has accepted the sleepsuits ok (well, she threw up the first night she was wearing one, but don't think it's related!) and we are gearing up for the big move this weekend.

we are on an Earlybird course atm, and dd is the only child who is

a) a good sleeper, and
b) still in a cot

a coincidence? I think not. But we are going to be doing a sleep support bit for the next few weeks at earlybird, so we may as well move her now, when support is easily available.

I hope oyur ds starts settling ok again soon

Well, very good luck with it silverfrog! I will be thinking of you!

DH is doing the Earlybird course at the moment as well - it's good, isn't it?

Every night is different with DS3 at the moment! On Wednesday night I let him stay up and play in his brothers' room until it was time for them to put their lights out - at that point he was quite happy to scamper into his own bed and he fell asleep quite happily without me having to go back up to him. It was the same last night, but he woke up crying at 4.30 a.m. this morning so I ended up getting into his bed with him - it was just too cold to prance about trying to settle him any other way! He fell asleep with his little arms round my neck which was lovely although I am sure I am storing up trouble for the future...
Hey ho.

I know what you mean about storing up trouble, but sometimes life's too short to be worrying about that (and freezing cold early mornings are one of those times!)

Have just heard that my stepson is coming to stay this weekend, so not a good weekend to cahnge beds around really (am a firm believer in not too many changes at once, usually) but think we'll go for it anyway - we're running out of time to get her settled before Christmas when we have a houseful (both step children and PIL)

Earlybird is quite useful, but we nearly quit as we were told that dd1 has been moved back down the list for SALT as we're doing Earlybird (how mad is that?!)

we made a big fuss, and now one of the Earlybird team is going in to her pre-school as SALT advisor, but we're now gearing up for round 2 which is direct SALT for dd1. It's her biggest problem area atm. They have finally realised that she's an August baby, though, and so will be starting school next sept, not sept 2009, so don't quite have all the time in the world to get things sorted, as they previously thought they did.

DS3 is an August baby too .

We've just heard that it will be a struggle for him to get SALT when he starts at school nursery next term as the SALT who is allocated to that nursery is going on maternity leave and there is as yet no replacement for her. But I will pay for private SALT for him if I have to.

Anyway, DS3 put himself to bed tonight I had the baby monitor on in the kitchen, and thought it had gone a bit quiet and when I went up sure enough there he was stretched out on his bed fast asleep. Bless.

Good luck for the big move!

Well, we did it, with mixed results.

Dd1 was brilliant while we moved everything around, and this also meant that she had no afternoon rest so was very tired come bedtime (a little too tired probably, but you can't have everything).

Put dd2 to bed (in what used to be dd1's room & dd1's old cot) and dd1 was fine.

Cleaned teeth, and had to get her ready for bed in the bathroom (new routine as no room in her new room) and she was fine.

Took her to new room, and she wobbled a bit, but we had a few favourite stories and she calmed down. Then I went to put her in bed and she freaked.

all in all, we had an hour and a half of screaming and crying, with me popping back in to calm her down, only for her to start up again when I left. Then she fell asleep (on the floor naturally - couldn't make it easy!).

we popped her back into bed, and she didn't stir.

checked on her when we went to bed, and she'd fallen out, but hadn't woken at all, so we popped her back again, again she didn't stir.

and that's it - she slept until morning. have just made her breakfast so will be off to get her in a minute, but so far she seems fine.

Hope it continues this way (with a little less on the screaming front before she goes to sleep!)

Fingers crossed for you tonight, silverfrog!

DS3 conked out very quickly and easily last night with minimum fuss, so that is encouraging.

Oh I'm glad your ds3 is getting used to his bed.

Dd1 went happily into her new room for her after lunch rest, and sang and chatted to herself as normal.

she was a little distressed this evening, but nowhere near as bad as last night, and she sang/chatted/read for an hour or so (as she always has done) and is now fast asleep.

I'll check onher when I go up to bed in a minute, and I bet she's asleep on the cushions on the floor, but if we keep putting her back, she'll get the idea one day

It has, so far, not been as bad as I was dreading, but 'tis early days!

I know it is early days but it does all sound very encouraging, silverfrog .

It is indeed encouraging. She is not exactly skippig with joy over the change, but she goes to bed, sings/cahts for a while, and falls asleep and, as far as we know, stays that way until morning, which is much better than we had hoped.

She has also continued drinking, and is drinking at least 200ml a day, so there have been some huge changes for her this last week.

She also went to her new room straight away earlier today when I asked her to read a book while I changed dd2's nappy, so she seems to have grasped that change well too.

Wish there was a proud mum emoticon, as she is coping brilliantly with what are, essentially, quite difficult changes for any child.

ooh, exciting update - just went to get her from her post-lunch rest and she was lying down on her bed leafing through some books - a good breakthrough as she has previously curled up on the cushions on the floor!

Very happy for you!

DS3 still good about his bed but has been struck down with a nasty virus so I slept on the floor in his room last night. At about 5 a.m. he kind of vaulted over his bedrail and came to join me for a cuddle [soppy].

Hope he doesn't expect me still to be there when he's better...