DS3 had a terrible scare at swimming today and so did I!!

[MegaLegs]

I'm putting thsi in SN because although it doesn't concern my DS with SN another child involved might possibly have some form of SN and I don't want people getting arsey about him or me. (ramble)

DS3 is 4, been in beginners swim calss at local pool since Sept, good, confident, loves it and is able to swim a little, mostly under water.

Small group of 6 kids, similar age, one extremely nervous non swimmer who clings to teacher most of time (teacher in pool). Other 5 all similar ability to DS3. One little boy is very, very boisterous, noisy, finds it hard to listen and it is quite a handful. Don't know anything about him but from my limited experience I would say he had some sort of behavioural, hyperactive stuff going on, still, not for me to diagnose him.

Cut to the chase, basically the minute the teacher turns her back, which is far too frequently, to help the struggler, this other little boy is jumping on the others and pushing them over. He also pushes them when they jump in, splashes and throws stuff, they all seem to think he is a bit of a laugh to be honest, well nothing serious hashappened until today. This lad jumped on DS3's back as he was doing a width and pushed him under, but kept him under for ages, I jumped up, banged on the glaass but no one heard. legged it round to pool, DS3 now surfaced and crying, teacher OBLIVIOUS, I shout at her " Excuse me? Did you see what just happened, you are not watching them, you are not supervising them!!" To the inert lifeguard standing inches away I shouted "And your not watching them either, that all happened right in front of you!" He had been playing with his keys. (Made a bit of a scene really)

Took DS3 out of pool, complained to duty manager, swim manager will phone me in the morning for a full report, we will cancel membership (this is the third incident of crappy supervision I've seen in 2 years).

DS3 is fine, said "I was breathing but he pushed me down and I drowned" Reassurance and crisps from the machine soon soothed him and we haven't mentioned it again.

I am so angry with the teacher, the life guard and the management at the pool. The teacher has definately been struggling to cope with the lad's difficult behaviour but wouldn't that make you more aware of him, that you would need to keep an eye on him, for his safety as much as that of others, maybe have another lifeguard to watch the group or another teacher to help. Just seems an etremely dangerous place to lose contol like that.

Sorry, long ramble and maybe sounds a bit trite. Several of the other mums were angry/ rude about the little boy but I don't blame him at all, MN (and my present circumstances) have taught me a great deal.

My god, how awful i can understand totally how you must feel, did the other little boys parents witness this too.

His mum always sits in the cafe, she is lovely, really, really young. I don't think she saw what happened and do you know, and I don't know if this was the right thing to do or not, I didn't go and speak to her about it because a) I thought maybe she had, had irate mothers moaning about her child before and b) I was angry with th epool staff, not her child.

I think I would have reacted the same. The staff at the centre should have been watching him closely if he was a danger to the other children, or have at least asked the mum to watch over him. Saying that, I don't have any experience with swimming clubs, only because that's exactly the type of behaviour that I have with my ds, in that he's the kid pushing the other children under the water(he has HFA) and for that reason I watch him at all times. I wouldn't even contemplate letting him near a place like that without constant supervision. But I admit when my ds was younger there were times I just left him to it because I just found him so hard to cope with, not in a pool though. It's interesting that you say he did it when the adults back was turned, as it could show he was actually aware that it was naughty behaviour and wasn't an act of impulsiveness. I'm glad you had it out with the staff though, rather thatn the mum.

When the teachers is watching he is always in her face and she just sort of looks past him. He is amazingly articulate, very mature and knowing. When we are waiting for the lesson to start I overhear his converstions with his mum and they are very deep (for want of a better word). He asks questions all the time.

I get the impression she too just wants to leave him too it, he must be exhausting, sadly it wasn't the right place to, the swimming ladies are overwhelmed by him really.

Even though he appears very articulate, he could very well have special needs. I wouldn't want to involve the mum, but I would have a word with the swimming centre if I felt they were not being vigilant enough.

Message withdrawn

macwoozy - I meant that I felt the being articulate, seeming mature and his curiosity were probably part of his SN (if he had any). Almost like he is slightly gifted but also doesn't know how to control his behaviour. Not that I didn't think he could have SN because he was articulate - does that make sense?

tobysmum - you are right. The pool is frustrated that th eparents didn't make them aware of their sons over enthusiasm!!

I have been at a Makaton course all day, returned home hoping to have had a message from swim lesson manager - but nothing. I phoned her and asked her if she'd heard about the incident yesterday - guess what - the message hadn't been passed on.

She was very sympathetic, agreed that the life guards all need a kick up the arse, but a little surprised as the teacher involved has been there so long she had been taught to swim by her, (that's half the problem I think, very old teachers too set in their ways). She says the problem they have is that when children start lessons they don't know anything about them apart from relevant medical stuff, due to data protection act they can't keep anything else on file. They rely on the parents being open about any challenging behaviour and also to take some responsibility by remaining in view of the lesson - this mum was near but not watching so as far as I know didn't see what went on.

Swimming lady has promised there will be an extra teacher with the group next week and on that condition I said I'd bring DS3 back. I hope she keeps her word.

Sorry Megalegs, automatic asumption for me is that some parents might consider a child not having sn when the child speaks so fluently, it's obvious you're so much more aware and I'm sorry for that, you're very understanding and you haven't blamed the mum one bit. I wish I came across more people like you, it would make my life a lot happier.

I do wonder though, with the boy only being four, whether it could be the start of the mums awareness in something not quite right with her child, {sorry not pc!] Maybe she was embarassed/ashamed, felt that she just couldn't cope with more fingers pointing at her, didn't know how to manage him, so just kept out of the way. I've done that, and looking back I feel thoroughly ashamed but I can totally feel why anyone should do that.

You come across as totally understanding about a possible SN, I hope the staff at the pool get their act together so everyone can enjoy themselves.

That's ok macwoozy, I didn't really make myself very clear.

I'm still in two minds about going back this Wednesday - mainly because I now feel a bit of an idiot about the way I leapt onto the pool side and started shouting at everybody

I'd be shouting too, you've got nothing to blush about. Unlike me who wrote my last post under the influence of many alchoholic beverages, I did go on a bit didn't I Have told dp never ever to let me go near this computer after a night out with my mates

It made perfect sense - honestly. The best posts are often the drunk ones!!