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20 month old Developmental Delays, Feeling Down

3 replies

PurpleThistles84 · 11/03/2021 02:28

My 20 month old can’t roll all the way over, crawl, bum shuffle, pull himself up or walk. He also doesn’t babble or talk. I was just looking back on some old videos of when he was 6 months old and babbling mum and dad, he regressed around 8 months and has never babbled since. He can sit unaided and pivot himself in a circle.

Most days I’m fine because he is a very happy, easy going little man and is as bright as a button. But sometimes it feels like it will be a long time until I hear him say mum or dad again, or hold his hand whilst he learns to walk.

He has seen a paediatrician, he is hyper mobile and definitely autistic, though he can’t be officially diagnosed yet. I knew this as I have two other autistic children and he very clearly shows he is, through a repetitive stimming noise he makes when concentrating, lots of hand flapping and preferring to grab my hand rather than look at me when he wants something. He will sit and stack his blocks over and over again in the same way for as long as an hour whilst making his stimming sound.

My other two autistic children, they were not actually delayed. In fact my first born walked at 9 months and was saying words like delicious by 12 months old. It’s hard sometimes to think my sons delays are solely related to being autistic.

He had genetic testing done about three weeks ago, we are still waiting on results which could take up to two months.

I’m just posting because it’s hard sometimes, especially when my gorgeous little nephew who was born two months after my son, is running around and talking. I’m so pleased for my brother that my nephew is developing well, it just reminds me that my baby isn’t though.

He has a physiotherapist though due to covid she has only seen him once and missed the fact he was hyper mobile. She gave me some exercises to do with him, but he absolutely hates them and I’m not even sure I’m doing them right. He gets so distressed that I end up getting distressed too. I feel guilty if I do them and I feel guilty if I don’t.

I even feel lost about what I should be doing with him. At his age my other four children were all in toddler beds but he is still in his cot, at the highest level, in a gro bag with a sheet tucked over. I had either potty trained or started potty training my others but with him, I don’t see how I can when he isn’t mobile or capable of indicating when he might need to go. It feels like him and I are stuck in a loop where we aren’t progressing anywhere. Lately he is becoming more and more difficult to entertain and gradually more and more musical screen time has started creeping in which makes me feel guilty too.

I’m sorry to dump, there isn’t really anyone in my life who understands. I’ve lost count of the amount of cliches I have heard over the years with my autistic children and been given parenting advice from people with no understanding of additional needs. So a lot of the time, I just don’t voice it when I’m feeling worried or low because I don’t want to hear the usual well meant but frustrating advice.

OP posts:
Musingsandrevs · 11/03/2021 07:34

I was in this situation and understand the pain and uncertainty as a parent. My son hit all milestones, however something seemed off, eye gaze and speech did not seem ok. I just knew and kept bringing it up with the doctor. Earlier you start, the better it is. Make sure you keep a tab of your child's speech(words/sounds) other behaviors you notice. They may come handy in your initial appointments. Does your child have repetitive speech?

PurpleThistles84 · 11/03/2021 10:04

He makes one sound, like a repetitive moan, that he makes when he is really engrossed in something.

OP posts:
moita · 12/03/2021 20:35

I wouldn't worry about potty training yet - he's still very little.

My DD has complex needs (although not autism) and everything is so much harder to access with Covid.

I wouldn't feel guilty about screen time, as long as he isn't stuck in front of the tv all day! What about using simple sign to help either communication? There's lots of videos on YouTube.

I would hold off the exercises as it doesn't sound like he is benefiting from those. Is he under a paediatrician?

Also have a look for suppoer groups as it gets very lonely without other grown ups to chat to who understand

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