12 YO DD, I'm suspecting SEN

[Stressedmummyof4]

Hi there, thanks for reading and in advance if you reply.

So as not to drip feed, I'll try and pop as much info down as possible and I would be interested to know if anyone else is in the same position.

I'm suspecting that my 12 yo dd could possibly have some SEN, and it was mentioned to me today by a teacher (not hers) about GDD.

DD has a younger sibling (9) who is ASD who struggles massively in a mainstream school, but thats a whole other thread.

Since primary 4, so around 8yo, she started massively struggling at school. We had just moved home and she had to move school, she really struggled to fit in at the new school which I think was partly due to them putting her in a composite class with primary 5's. She was an early starter to primary school so technically she was in a class with some children who were already 10. I don't think this helped at all with her confidence.

She has never found a friendship group within school nor at home.

She has struggled with reading and writing and emotionally at school. A lot of bullying but also some struggles with the fact that she wasn't always able to understand when someone was joking, someone was getting upset, or the social situation that was going on around her.

I pushed for dyslexia testing, which never happened, instead, they pointed out that she possibly had Irlen Syndrome and that we should go via our GP to have this assessed. After the assessment, they picked up that yes she did have this and we purchased the eyewear for her, made the school aware so that they could make adjustments for her.

Whilst her reading speed increased, she still did not pick up on her phonemes, and still doesn't to this day.

she struggles hugely in spelling, reading, maths and now with being in high school, foreign languages are becoming extremely difficult.

She has other health issues too apart from these struggles, which means she is on quite a lot of different medicines. She struggles now with insomnia, however, the medicines that she takes mean that when she does fall asleep she goes into an extremely deep sleep, and often we have to wait till these medicines have worn off before allowing her to go to school.

Socially she struggles, she doesn't appear to be keeping up with her peers. At home, she enjoys playing with a younger sibling and friend who are 8yo.

Her mood is quite all over the place and she can swing from being happy to screaming at you the next minute.

I do not feel that her level of understanding is that of another child her age and I have asked for a referral for speech and language to assess this.

I was having a chat with her sibling's teacher today and saying that she has found lockdown so difficult and that she is massively falling behind and that I had sought a referral for her, the teacher commented on Global Developmental Delay, I myself was swaying more towards ASD, but I would be interested to know if anyone else has had any experience in any of these with a girl of around 12.

Thank you again

Have you looked at the Engaging Eyes Program offered by Dyslexia Gold? It benefitted my niece a lot. dyslexiagold.co.uk/Programs#ee
Have a look and see whether their programs would help out. Kids need a combination of phonics, phonological awareness and vision training in order to progress.

thank you @nessnz

The traits of many neurodiverse conditions overlap and some children can have more than one condition, that's why it's always best to ask for a full assessment by a team of medical professionals usually Paed, Ed Psych, SaLT and OT and let them decide on the finer points of individual conditions' diagnostics.

What really matters is identifying her needs and recommending interventions to be carried out at school and at home. Two children with autism in the same family can present with very different traits.

You are making some great observations, do list every situation you think of where she appears to be different to her peers and give that list to everyone involved in any diagnostics.

The main thing is that you've got the ball rolling, that's a great start, I just wish the whole process wasn't so long and drawn-out.

Thank you @BlankTimes. Her sibling was just under two years through initial contact with gp to diagnosis so I agree it's such a long process.

I guess perhaps I could be guilty of picking up on things and maybe looking into things too much but my gut feeling is there is something there. And from what I'm reading it's common for things to become difficult for girls at this age who have ASD.

I'm awaiting speech and language just now, she is already under paeds for something else so I'll mention it the next time we see him in a few months although I would think speech and language will make contact should they think there is any need.

Thank you sometimes you feel like your failing when your kids struggling. Hopefully we get the help she needs soon xx

I know exactly how you feel, my Dd's adult now but for the first 10 years of her life, no-one would listen to my concerns both GP and school and even after that any help she received was begrudgingly given - all I can say is never give up. Fight, fight and fight some more until her needs are met. There's so much more awareness these days and online local help-groups too.
Good Luck