Dogs and autism

[Lolly2803]

Hello, I am just starting to research into getting a family dog with the idea it will be a companion for my autistic DD. I have 3 children. 3.5yr old Twins with autism (my DD more severe and non verbal. my DS very high functioning and super verbal. Very close to normal line). I also have a 21 month year old. I have read about Labradors being a good choice but wanted to ask for some advice. Has anyone got a Lab with autistic child? Or children in general? Are they good family dogs to have. Want to get some real person advice! We walk and are outside loads as a family so exercise for the dog wouldnt be an issue and I don’t work so am at home. We have a decent size 5 bed house with a garden.
Any help would be much appreciated!

We have a lab and two kids, one is autistic (5 and 7)

We had our dog for nearly four years before the kids came along (he's now 11). I would say from puppy until about 3 he was pretty wild, lots of chewing, very bouncy and required quite a lot of training (I used to take him to a training class 1/2 times a week). He really started to settle at about 4.

He really is the most wonderful dog, very calm and easy going, unbelievably gentle with the kids. All the early training was really worth it. Particularly teaching him not to pull on the lead and not to snatch at food or jump up, which means the kids can play with him without being hurt. Something that has really worked for us too was having a crate for him. He still sleeps in it now and it is his safe space away from the children if it gets too much for him.

We are currently considering getting another lab puppy. I'm worried about the chewing, as my ds would lose it if his toys got destroyed. Also it's basically like having a baby again doing night time toilet training etc. We're hoping that our current dog will be a good example for a puppy, but that may be wishful thinking!

How is your autistic child with the dog? Do you think the children should be older before getting a puppy? With 3 youngsters the house is pretty crazy to be honest so an extra crazy probably won’t make too much difference but I know dogs are hard work especially puppies. I thought doing it when the children are young would help them and help the dog too. But I don’t want to get it wrong!

Ds likes the dog but most of the time they exist near each other rather than really interacting. I know he really likes the dog because he talks about him a lot and he gets worried in the park if the dog wanders off. Teaching him to be kind and aware of the dog I do think has been beneficial for him in learning how to be kind to other creatures.

I think you might find a puppy very hard work with three kids that are so young. Our dog was basically out of puppy stage by the time the kids came along, so was settled in the house and with us. But then again I don't have the experience of bringing kids and a dog up together

The dog puts up with a lot of chaotic movement and loud noises from ds but seems to cope with it well, but he also knows he has places to go to get away from the kids if he needs to. I think you would definitely have to make a safe/calm space where the puppy could have downtime.

Yes that makes sense and I think you’re right about a safe space. My mum always taught us when the dog retreats to his bed leave him alone!
At the end of the year my DD will be at school, DS pre school every morning and littlest DD at pre school 3 mornings a week so I will have some time to train the dog and it have some downtime! My autistic DD doesn’t mind noise or hustle and bustle and she will have her own safe space too. My worry is the other 2 children will be so excited with the dog that my autistic DD won’t get a look in! But I have found a course run by a charity where they (before you get the dog) teach you how a dog can help your family, training advice etc which I was planning on going on as part of my research!

The charity sounds like a good idea.

I must say I thought my kids would be more interested in the dog but I think because he's there all the time they don't tend to bother him too much. I mean they enjoy playing games with him and stroking him but it's not like they can't leave him alone and it's been like that even when they were very little. I find it's much harder when we're out and kids, who probably don't have dogs, are all over him.

My sister has a dog and my little one loves it. And she loves dogs in the park and just wants to play with them. My DS too loves playing chase and throwing the ball for dogs in the park so I do think they’d love one. But I just want to make sure it’s the right dog at the right time. For all our sakes. Especially my DD. It’s so great to get peoples advice and experiences on here though. Really does help!

Hi

I shall commit to updating this thread, as we are getting our first family dog (lab pup) in just a few weeks.

I have 3 DC. DD13, DD11 and DS8. DD11 and DS8 both have ASD, but whereas DS is getting on really well, confident etc - DD's anxiety is off the charts, majorly affecting life.

So, seen as I have recently left my employment to care for DD11, (keep up with the EHCP application process and make sure I get her in to the correct secondary provision - ) we have made the decision to get dog (as I will be at home and it is something ALL my children have wanted for years.)

I know that having a pup will not be easy, but as my DD11 is so happy and calm around my parents' and close friend's dogs, we also hope he will have a positive effect on her mental health.

In fact, my friend who breeds labs nicknamed my DD the dog whisperer because whenever we visit an annual litter, the pups (and adult dogs) all gravitate towards her!

Also, my DD 13 (who admittedly puts up with a lot, beyond normal family dynamics) loves dogs, so a lovely companion for her, also.

Oh yes please!!! I’d love to know how you get on! xxx

Just to update.

Pup is now nearly 14 weeks old and all is going brilliantly!!!

We have been incredibly lucky, in that pup is super chilled and is therefore happy to just do everything with us (ie happy in the car, standing outside school etc,) but irrelevant of his relaxed nature, he is just a great addition for US ALL.

He is a playful distraction for my daughter in the house before school and a cuddly distraction when she feels so distressed at the school gates. He is a gift to my older DD who copes with siblings with difficulties. He is, without my son even being aware, promoting the benefits of physical affection (as my son will give pup odd kisses and cuddles - but not really people.) He is introducing my husband (who never had a dog) to the benefits of dog ownership (or more family time outdoors etc.) But most of all... he is a brilliant source of positive mental health and well being for me, whilst I cannot work at the moment (because I need to be there for DD.)

I know all of the above sounds soppy, but he truly is such a joy!

That's so brilliant pandyandy!

We got a new lab puppy last week (he's 2 months)! We chose quite a bold puppy as we needed him to be able to cope with all the noise and craziness in the house as well as cope with our older dog.

So far it's been fairly chaotic and messy but he's settled in super quick and the kids are getting used to him. I think it's been a good decision all round, except I imagine if the older dog could talk he might disagree!

Lovely to hear this. One day I'd love to get a dog, maybe in a couple of years, so good to hear how you're getting on!

Really glad things are going well with your new addition also, livpotter! 😁👍