Help wits end!!

[Lolly2803]

Hello, I have 3 children. Twins who are 3yrs 8 months and a 20 month old. Busy house! Both my twins have ASD. My DS very high functioning and extremely close to neurotypical line. My DD is non verbal (uses PECS) and I am struggling with her behaviour. She has a meltdown whenever she doesn’t get her own way. Extremely violent rages when I turn Peppa pig off. I have now banned it!! She is also awake for hours in the night. We’ve tried various doses and forms of melatonin and I can’t get her to swallow the tablet so often she bites it. She falls asleep by 6.30pm I think with a mix of exhausting herself in the day and night and the tablets. But then take tonight, she’s been awake since 2.15am and it’s now 5am and she’s still wide awake. If I don’t get her up or bring her into our bed she will kick her cot and be very loud waking up my other two children. I then find in the day I’m absolutely exhausted. With so long having hardly any sleep and 3 very young children to look after. My parents are amazing and help me so much so I feel lucky but I feel like such a bad mum. I struggle to do things with them on my own as I need to be with each of them for diff reasons. I feel bad putting the tv on too much but when it’s pouring down what else is there once you’ve played all morning?! Then the tantrums, food issues and just general chaos of having 3 very close very young children is grinding me down. I just feel like I love my children but I hate my life. It’s just constantly hard and the good points are few and far between. Does it ever get better?

You definitely need to build a support network.

I would speak to your local authority about a referral to disability social services, they can arrange support for YOU in the form of respite (don't worry, your kids won't be sent away, they can pay you to pay a carer to come in and help you out at home for a certain amount of hours a week).

Are your bigger kids at nursery? Do they have EHCPs? If so get those sorted, nursery can help you. Even the higher functioning child should have one, as it will mean they are properly supported when they start primary school. It sounds like your DD might benefit from being at a special school, so she will need an EHCP to get a place.

There will be local organisations that can signpost you to help and help you out with all the paperwork - there will be a lot of paperwork, but once it's done you will find live gets a bit easier.

Thanks so much for replying. My twins are due to start school in September but I’m keeping them back till next. My DD’s EHCP is in the assessment phase. DS will be submitted by Easter. My DD is at home as she has ABA therapy each morning. She will hopefully start pre school in September.
It’s just SO hard. I’m so exhausted and I just feel like I’m not doing anything well! I will look into help it’s just hard as you don’t know the person and I’d feel protective and worry they wouldn’t know how to handle what the children are doing etc!