To Stay or Go...

[Argybargy18]

Hi!

My daughter who will be 3 in May is displaying severe delays with her communication. She is also a sensory seeker. Constantly climbing and putting non edible stuff in her mouth.

We are currently expats, so living abroad. We can afford therapy here and my daughter is doing speech and OT. However the system is not joined up like the UK. So we generally feel really unsupported as the state health system is not great. All the therapy we are doing is private and not via a drs referral so it does feel like we are shooting in the dark abit. My daughter is in main stream nursery. They don't provide any extra support for kids that need it.

We want to move back to the UK to be with our families but also I feel that it might be better for her. Am I right to say if delays are recognised in children at nursery, they can get extra funding to get help with that child?. Has anyone been through that process and how long did it take?.

I am nervous about leaving a country where we can afford therapy but can't really get any support generally, to coming to the UK where it might take a really long time to get any support at all but is probably the best place to be long term for schooling etc. It's a really difficult decision. So would love some input.

Thank you

My DS had one to one funding at preschool for his 15 hours a week, preschool had to apply and then reapply every half term. Another child also had one too.

He was also seen by an early years team at the local council, as well as being under the community paediatricians, and NHS SALT and now is at mainstream school but with an EHCP so he can access their speech and language resource unit.

We paid for private speech therapy for nearly 18 months due to lack of practical support from NHS SALT.

Preschool were very supportive and proactive and there is now doubt we'd never have got an EHCP without them and therefore wouldn't be at the school he is now. I know of other people who didn't have as good luck/support with their nursery and preschool and their child didn't get the support they needed.

Thank you that’s really helpful.

So I guess the key is finding a school that will be proactive and supportive . I mean the way things are at the moment without help I doubt she would do anything they want her to do apart from meal times where suddenly becomes compliant.

She also uses very little words and certainly not to communicate. So I would like to think they would quickly identify that she needs help.

I think also of course, parents need to be proactive. I'm not suggesting I am the perfect parent but we've chased services, asked for help and literally paid for it. Our efforts haven't just got DS where he is, it was also preschool, his private SALT and now his school. Plus I think a lot of it is DS' natural development.

I'm sure you would be proactive too, you sound like you are whether you came back to the UK or not. On paper we have had a reasonable amount of help, but apart from preschool, it was the private SALT that cost £80 per week for an hour that was the most beneficial. The Speech therapist also went into preschool for us to train the staff and try to generalise DS' skills when he was still using PECS.

We have found NHS SALT frustrating and we saw the paediatrician once a year, the early years team from the local council saw DS a couple of times but it was a tick boxing exercise for us as she was the unofficial gatekeeper of the one to one funding.

I've heard people say that stand alone preschools and nursery classes within schools may provide the best help rather than private day nurseries. DS was at a stand alone preschool.

Good luck.

Thank you

We were looking into a speech therapist once a week too.

Can I ask what the difference is between preschool and private nursery. I’ve never heard of a preschool especially standalone ones till now. So it didn’t even occur to me to look into it.

Do they work on the same basis as school or are they more like nurseries?.

Thank you.. this is so useful

So private day nurseries are ones which take babies to school age children open 11/12 hours a day and usually cost more. They will have a 'preschool' room for children over three. These will often be private businesses.

Stand alone preschools are likely to be smaller and take children from 2/3 until school age, probably with less daily hours, usually the school day, and term time only. For example DS did four mornings a week 9am-12.45pm, but we could have paid for more. They are more likely to be council run or charities.

School nurseries, attached to primary schools, will take children the term after they are 3 and a child is likely to do mornings/afternoons and again term time only. I don't know whether you can increase hours at a school nursery. Going to the nursery at a school wouldn't guarantee a place at the same school.

All settings will provide the 'free' 15 hours when a child turns 3 and some will provide the 'free' 30 hours if both parents work enough to meet the threshold. They will all follow the EYFS (basically curriculum for preschool children) and will try and get the children 'school ready' but it's just anecdotal experience from friends that I've had that some private day nurseries weren't as supportive.

We were very lucky with DS' preschool, a lot of ex teachers on the staff who were experienced and proactive.

There are also special needs nurseries about but I don't know how they work in terms of admissions. Some special needs schools will taken children from 3. An EHCP is likely needed.

Thank you so much

This is so helpful