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Help please...I really need a positivity boost x

3 replies

Blossom4538 · 06/02/2021 22:28

Hi all,

I’m feeling a little down. I know that my DD is the prime focus, and her mental health, happiness and future are what’s important, but I feel a little sad abs guilty for the self-pity!!

DD is Autistic (what would be described as high functioning) - but very complex and a huge range of needs, challenges.

She is our only child and we will not be having any more children. I feel so sad that we are not going to experience “normal” (sorry, don’t like to use that word) but a normal experience of parenting and childhood. She is not affectionate and has never wanted hugs. She struggles with emotion and also says very, very nasty things to us. She hardly can cope with going out, so even prior to lockdown, we struggle to do much enjoyable as a family, despite trying.

She can’t really speak to family, so not the usual relationships there either.

I am feeling guilty as I’ve found myself in tears today, over family and friends posting photos of their lovely, local walks as a family. I hate feeling so jealous.

I also don’t think we’ll manage to get DD back to school, so will either “unschool” or try an attempt at “specialist school placement”.

After all the moaning, how do you continue to feel positive. I am sick of trying to be upbeat and positive each day and about the future.

OP posts:
lollipoprainbow · 07/02/2021 11:23

Very similar situation, my 8 year old dd has suspected autism and is challenging!! I'm a single mum and some days I struggle, she too is an only child. She's not affectionate either, I watch her come out of school and she walks over to me whereas the other kids run and hug their parents! She says awful things to me too then says she can't help it which I truly believe she can't but it's so painful. She hates going out too and gets very anxious so we are stuck in four walls when I see other families out for walks, we live right by the sea but never get to see it. I lost it last night with her when she was calling me awful names and just wouldn't do as she was told! My mum is poorly at moment so I've got a lot on my plate.

Blossom4538 · 08/02/2021 00:03

It’s difficult isn’t it. Hugest of hugs. It’s hard to be that perfect, patient parent 100% of the time, especially when u have a lot on your plate.

It has been awful this past year, with everything and I lost a family member very suddenly.

I try and stay positive, but it’s hard.

I’m so sorry to hear about your Mum. Mine isn’t in good health either and she has been shielding since March, last year.

Huge hugs

OP posts:
laralou28 · 09/02/2021 15:58

@Blossom4538

Hi all,

I’m feeling a little down. I know that my DD is the prime focus, and her mental health, happiness and future are what’s important, but I feel a little sad abs guilty for the self-pity!!

DD is Autistic (what would be described as high functioning) - but very complex and a huge range of needs, challenges.

She is our only child and we will not be having any more children. I feel so sad that we are not going to experience “normal” (sorry, don’t like to use that word) but a normal experience of parenting and childhood. She is not affectionate and has never wanted hugs. She struggles with emotion and also says very, very nasty things to us. She hardly can cope with going out, so even prior to lockdown, we struggle to do much enjoyable as a family, despite trying.

She can’t really speak to family, so not the usual relationships there either.

I am feeling guilty as I’ve found myself in tears today, over family and friends posting photos of their lovely, local walks as a family. I hate feeling so jealous.

I also don’t think we’ll manage to get DD back to school, so will either “unschool” or try an attempt at “specialist school placement”.

After all the moaning, how do you continue to feel positive. I am sick of trying to be upbeat and positive each day and about the future.

Hiya I hope you are ok. I have a son with asd. He is high functioning too but comes with his challenges mainly around food. I always feel jealous when I see people's children sitting eating all the fruit veggies enjoying hot chocolate in a cafe etc. It's normal to feel a bit of jealously. All I can say is don't give up. Still try and go on your family walks. Make it a routine and it will become more enjoyable. Don't let her control your life. My son used to be scared of alarms in shops and would have a melt down if I went to an Asda. We kept taking him and got him through it and now he tolerates it. They are challenging little creatures but there is so many good things they do too. Don't know if any of this will help you but didn't want to read and run. X
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