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How do you take out a bolter with asd and pica during a pandemic?

22 replies

elliejjtiny · 06/02/2021 16:42

Ds is 6, recently been diagnosed with asd (supposedly high functioning) and pica. He has no sense of social distancing or personal boundaries. Will lick his hands, car hub caps, anything he can get hold of. He is verbal but won't have a conversation or seem to listen when someone is talking to him. He is also a runner, but also sometimes very clingy, there seems to be no in between. Before covid we had strategies. We went to a lot of places like soft play where he couldn't escape from and we would take extra adults (usually PIL ) on days out or trips to parks with no gates. We went to groups for children with disabilities where there would be extra adults on hand.

Now all our help is gone. The disability groups have been closed for a year and pil are shielding. We have another child who is CV so I feel very nervous about going to the park unless there is nobody else there. We can't just walk round the housing estate as he won't hold my hand, won't wear reins and runs into the road if he gets the opportunity. Every time I have tried taking him for a walk in the last year I have had to phone dh to come and get us in the car because he's broken another set of reins, nearly been run over or is lying on the floor refusing to move. But if I don't take him out his sleeping, which has always been bad, is even worse than usual. I'm tempted to get him a buggy so at least I can take him out safely but they are so expensive for something that hopefully we won't need long term and it wouldn't help the lack of outdoor exercise.

OP posts:
livpotter · 06/02/2021 20:57

Honestly getting a buggy saved my sanity. Ds is 7 and we use it every day. Makes getting too and from the park much less stressful. It's only in the last year that I have been able to take him and dd out on my own. I sometimes still have to call dh to help if it gets out of hand!

Ds is the same with licking things and sucking fingers etc. I take hand sanitiser everywhere and try and disinfect everything as we go. Ds likes the foam sanitiser over the gel/liquid stuff.

Nightmare though!

boobybum · 07/02/2021 09:40

Do you have anywhere such as woodland within reach? (remember you can travel further afield if you need to). Our dc has no road safety or concept of personal space so we can’t go for local walks around our streets but luckily have forest within a short drive so go there often. We pick routes where we very rarely encounter anyone and there is plenty of space if we do.

CompassNorth · 13/02/2021 21:27

Would family Fund be able to help with a grant for a buggy?

elliejjtiny · 13/02/2021 21:35

Thankyou everyone. We have some woodland near us but it's always really busy. I'm thinking a buggy is going to be the way forward.

OP posts:
CompassNorth · 13/02/2021 22:03

Sometimes eBay or gumtree have secondhand buggies. Or maybe a local FB group.

elliejjtiny · 14/02/2021 09:59

Thankyou. Any particular brand recommendations? I'm assuming I will need a SN buggy at his age which is a pity as they all seem to be triple the price of a non SN buggy.

OP posts:
CompassNorth · 14/02/2021 18:09

Another mum I know had a Maclaren SN buggy and both she and her son loved it.

livpotter · 14/02/2021 18:41

We have a maclaren major, it's great.

It's better to find it second hand if you can. If you buy a new one none of the 'accessories' are included. So you have to buy the footplate, hood and basket separately if you need them.

10brokengreenbottles · 14/02/2021 21:21

If you might use it in woodland the special tomato jogger is worth considering.

DS1 isn't a bolter but freezes and refusing to walk. We have a special tomato jogger and an ormesa bug (older style, I have heard a couple of complaints about the newer style). DS1 prefers the ormesa bug because it can parent face (anxiety). I find it easier to manoeuvre, whereas DH prefers the special tomato jogger. DS1 is 11 and just about fits in them.

As well as Family Fund, Caudwell Children can help if you earn less than £45K.

lurkingattheback · 17/02/2021 09:28

I am in a similar situation with a 6 year old (Asd). I simply can't manage taking out my two children on my own. We are stuck at home. Even a local scoot or walk is not possible, my son has to be in control of the route and will drop to the floor if we need to go a different way.

The only safe, familiar places like woodlands and gardens are at least a 30 minute drive away. Ideally, I'd prefer to drive car an hour sometime out as a family (with my husband) but I don't think this is allowed.

morninglive · 17/02/2021 09:35

You can get second hand SN buggies on Facebook pages or eBay. Ideally a large hood may help him feel more secure.

boobybum · 18/02/2021 08:30

@lurkingattheback There are exemptions in the guidance for families such as ours and you can travel further if you need to. I think that often the drive itself has the function of respite because I know that just being in the car has a calming effect of our child.

lurkingattheback · 18/02/2021 08:50

[quote boobybum]**@lurkingattheback There are exemptions in the guidance for families such as ours and you can travel further if you need to. I think that often the drive itself has the function of respite because I know that just being in the car has a calming effect of our child.[/quote]
Thanks, I've heard of some flexibility but it's hard to know how far that can be pushed and of course hard with the judgement of others who simply don't understand. We are at a point that we really need to go somewhere suitable so find the official guidance to check thanks.

Sirzy · 18/02/2021 08:53

Excel Elsie is the same as a mclaren major and a lot cheaper.

Ds is 11 and we still have wheelchair/buggy for when out and about.

boobybum · 18/02/2021 09:48

We printed out and laminated the relevant guidance which we leave on display in the car (the police have put warning leaflets on some vehicles in the past).
You would hopefully be able to get support from school, social worker, paediatrician etc confirming your child’s issues if need be so I think that it would be highly unlikely that the police would take any action if they did stop you. As for anyone else - sod them! It is very obvious that our child is learning disabled (and we have him in a high vis vest so that we can more easily spot him in the woods) so no one has ever said anything to us.

10brokengreenbottles · 18/02/2021 20:23

@Sirzy if you don't mind me asking, what wheelchair do you have and did you get it via wheelchair services or privately fund it?

Sirzy · 18/02/2021 20:45

We have a action junior 3 via wheelchair services and we also have an advanced mobility independence via a charity which we use for running and country walks.

10brokengreenbottles · 19/02/2021 12:56

Thanks @Sirzy.

Ducks11 · 28/02/2021 07:31

We printed out and laminated the relevant guidance which we leave on display in the car

Brilliant idea.

I hope you can get a good trip in @lurkingattheback with someone else to help you, must be so stressful trying to support both kids at once

Lou80 · 28/02/2021 07:42

We have a play centre for special needs children close to us - garden secure, low numbers of families and staff to help. I think other places like that which we usually would use are opening too - have you got anything close to you like that? It's been a lifesaver for us. So hard though - definitely a forgotten group of people!

lurkingattheback · 28/02/2021 15:17

@Ducks11

We printed out and laminated the relevant guidance which we leave on display in the car

Brilliant idea.

I hope you can get a good trip in @lurkingattheback with someone else to help you, must be so stressful trying to support both kids at once

Thanks, sadly we had a traumatic trip out which started with a massive meltdown and didn't improve. So we've made a plan to ensure we have regular short local walks and hopefully build up again.
LadyOfLittleLeisure · 12/03/2021 16:43

Can I ask what area you're in? Some specialist SEN playgrounds are doing garden sessions.

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