Delayed development - worrying about future

4 replies

deepestpointofthesea · 06/02/2021 12:15

Hi, I have two children, a 3.5 years old and a 1 year old.

My eldest has always had a speech delay, and only recently we contacted the HV and were referred to SALT. About 2 weeks ago I was contacted by his class teacher at nursery who asked to have a face to face meeting. I though it was a bit odd, due to covid etc.., but went to meet with her.

I ended up meeting with her, the SEN teacher and the SENco of the school, who let me know that DS is behind on development, doesn't interact with other children, and needs 1 to 1 support (which he has been having due to the reduced number of children in nursery).

She's applying for funding (can look for the name), and suggested keeping him at nursery for next year (I hadn't heard of this option before).

He's quite behind in his understanding and speech, and e doesn't interact with peers; his interests are very limited and he doesn't join in class activities.

We've been working really hard to teach him more language, and very slowly he's improving (more like memorizing phrases and using them without getting the meaning). Has echolalia I need to add.

We've seen some improvements after they started the 1 to 1. Now he's starting to use the potty for wees (doesn't tell when he has to, we leave him naked at home with potty nearby), and has reduced the use of the bottle.

At home we have some aggressive behaviour towards my younger DC, and we are working to reduce it. We've been referred to an OT as well, as he's struggling with feeding himself.

He has lost some language over time like name of colours, and I'm really worried. I don't know what to do anymore, I have always been really laid back, but I'm worried I have left it too late and he will now struggle.

I need help and advice.

OP posts:

livpotter · 06/02/2021 12:52

It sounds like you and the nursery are both being really on the ball.

If it was me, I would ask about getting the EHCP process started. I was also start taking about what kind of provision he might need once he gets to school age ie mainstream, special or a unit attached to mainstream. Start doing your erase arch now because it does come round very quickly. You can look at your local offer or contact your local SENDIASS team if you need help to see what's available in your area.

Original poster

deepestpointofthesea · 06/02/2021 14:30

@livpotter thanks. I was hoping he'd progress enough to continue with Reception, I'm concerned I should have contacted my GP before this year, when he was younger. I'm not sure he'd qualify for SEN school in our area, or if he will get the EHCP.

OP posts:

livpotter · 06/02/2021 15:22

If he's having 1:1 support and he's benefiting from it and the nursery are asking for additional funding to support him, it is worth looking into an EHCP.

I remember every time I was told something about ds, like he might have ASD, he might need an EHCP, he might need a special school it felt like another kick but with hindsight it is good to be as prepared as possible.
My ds needed additional support nursery which we struggled to get due to cross-borough issues. He needed an EHCP, which was hard and emotionally draining to do but I'm so grateful he had one in place prior to going to school. He ended up repeating reception twice and has now moved to a really wonderful special school that specialises in autism.

It sounds like you are doing the right things and that he's in a supportive environment. It is very easy to blame yourself and think that you are not doing things right or that you missed something.

laralou28 · 09/02/2021 16:06

@deepestpointofthesea

Hi, I have two children, a 3.5 years old and a 1 year old.

She's applying for funding (can look for the name), and suggested keeping him at nursery for next year (I hadn't heard of this option before).

He's quite behind in his understanding and speech, and e doesn't interact with peers; his interests are very limited and he doesn't join in class activities.

We've been working really hard to teach him more language, and very slowly he's improving (more like memorizing phrases and using them without getting the meaning). Has echolalia I need to add.

At home we have some aggressive behaviour towards my younger DC, and we are working to reduce it. We've been referred to an OT as well, as he's struggling with feeding himself.

I need help and advice.

Hello. You sound in the exactly situation I was 3 years ago now. My sons preschool were on the ball and also got my son seen quickly by the right people. Being young in the year it wasn't long before we had to start thinking about school. As he needed 1-1 support he had to have an ehcp. We wanted him to have the best chance to be with his peers from preschool and sent him to a mainstream school with 1-1 support. This was the worst decision we ever made: our son could not cope and daily meltdowns happened. (He didn't talk much which was half the problem) The school were useless and didn't follow the ehc plan. I know not all schools will be the same. We had to remove him from the school. We put him into a special needs school in the end. Since then he's come on leaps and bounds he talks really well now he's more sociable and he's learning so much. He's been moved to a sen class in a mainstream school now. Thriving there. All I can say is consider all your options. Don't have your heart set on mainstream. They just aren't trained well enough in my opinion.

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