How many special need children do you have?

[Skymum82]

I have just found out I’m due baby number 4, my youngest literally just got diagnosed with asd, all my 3 children now have a diagnosis. 2 eldest are in a sen school. Verbal though. Would say my son is moderate, eldest is higher functioning with ld.
I’m feeling pretty overwhelmed. A couple of years ago we were tempted to have another one, although youngest seemed nt, it’s only as she got older that things become apparent. We didn’t though and decided 3 was our number. I can’t terminate, however I’m worried I’m not going to bond either. My 2 eldest will love it I think, my youngest will hate it. It was truely a mistake 🙈. Although I don't know how. Just wondering if there was anyone with 4 children here.

I've got 5 dc, 4 have special needs and 1 is nt.

Dc1 has aspergers syndrome, diagnosed aged 9 when we already had all the younger dc.
Dc2 has ehlers danlos syndrome and being assessed for autism. We knew he had special needs from shortly after birth.
Dc3 is nt. When we started ttc him dc1 was nt (we thought) and dc2 was stable and doing well.

We were going to stop at 3 but I accidently got pregnant, then miscarried and it made me want 4.

Dc4 was born with significant health issues and moderate learning difficulties. We were done and dh booked a vasectomy.

Dc5 slipped in under the radar while dh was waiting for his vasectomy. He was diagnosed with ASD just before Christmas last year.

Thank you. How do you find it? I’m sure it’s bigger in my head than it actually is. I have always managed to take all 3 out on my own etc. They are older now too. I’m struggling with home schooling and feeling so sick tbh. It’s just been such a massive shock.

Before the pandemic it was good. Pregnancy and looking after children is harder than older children and a baby I always find. Hardest part was dc4 always needing to be fed when I was picking dc1 and dc2 up from school. I've found homeschooling with 5 really hard but I think most people are struggling with that.

Ha ha that’s what I found with my third she would want feeding or have a nap just before the school run 😂.
So nice to talk to someone in a siniliar position I’m extremely worried about what people will think and it’s taking over 🙈.
Thank you, you sound like a super mum!

I have 4, the eldest DS ADHD/ASD is the hardest by far, the next 2 have various issues but no formal diagnosis yet. My youngest is 5 and I worry what he is being exposed to in terms of language and inappropriate behaviour from the others, but actually he is a very happy child. However he was non-verbal until age 3 and I’m just waiting to see what happens. All I wanted to say to you is that my children never cease to surprise me and make me smile. Even when we are having a horrible day (and we have had some very, very bad days over the past year) suddenly one of them will do something so kind or funny or loving that it just fills me with happiness and turns the day around! The more children you have, the more this happens! Just by being the youngest my DS4 is able to make me laugh with his funny little ways. Please don’t feel that having your fourth baby is a mistake - you may be surprised how your youngest reacts. My number 4 was my easiest by far and I’m sure it was partly because he had so much going on around him - he would just look around and watch the others - so different to my eldest who just needed me constantly day and night. I completely understand why you are feeling overwhelmed - life in general is overwhelming at the moment! Try to stay positive and just take one day at a time. All the best.

1 and a half
one with a rare condition as a result of a genetic mutation +ADD, ASD, dyspraxia etc. All diagnosed
One supposedly NT with extensive Hypermobility (diagnosed). Only she isn't NT, she just doesn't want a diagnosis. Shes a bit ADD, has some odd sensory issues and her literalism and a few other oddities makes me wonder about a mild ASD. But she mostly plods along fine, not without sizable effort on her part, so I respect her request not to persue it.

Thanks guys. I totally love them
For them and feeling so much more positive ❤️.