How do u even parent a child who is non verbal and limited understanding of language

[Duggeehugs82]

I have a 4 year old who was diagnosed with autism when she was 2 and 11 months, she is developmentally at around 12/18 months, she has very limited understanding and is non verbal but will speak constantly sounds and made up words.
I have been thinking just how so u parent a child who is unable to understand anything also she doesnt commucate her needs. I iust spend my whole time stopping her for hurting herself by climbing and taking food from kitchen that isnt away so will eat anything, uncooked crumpets and bagals seem to be favourite at moment. But she drabk undiluted squash before. She is off nursery as her special needs nursery is closed she was pff 6 months last year and havent been to nursery since 5th December, i also have nearly 2 year old who is understanding which to he honest is really weird and im obviously happy about it. She is currently wide awake trying to jump on her bed. And she has to have someone with at all times.

I can relate to your post. I often asked myself the same question when ds was younger. I wish I knew then the things I know now but unfortunately the help and support just isn't there. Ds didn't respond to his own name till 6 nevermind anything else. He didn't speak a single word till nearly 10. He couldn't get his needs across, lived in his own world but seemed happy. Often wouldn't give me the time of day, he didn't know how to interact with other people.

The thing that has made the difference has been exploring alternative communication methods. We tried the usual pecs and makaton (these are the salt defaults), these didn't work for ds. They can be wonderful for some children, it's about finding what's right for your kiddo. We eventually got introduced to high tech aac which for us is a picture based iPad app when he was 7. The first thing that happened was his understanding really began to improve. It's been a massive amount of work teaching him how to communicate via his iPad but by 9 he was putting together short sentences. Just before his 10th birthday we got the ultimate gift. He pressed mummy on his device and then verbally said it to me. I'd lost all hope of hearing his verbal voice years ago so made sure to praise him hugely and then went and had a happy cry in secret. He's now just turned 11. He can say about 20 words, a list which is growing. The major difference is how much he wants to instigate communication with me. He will instigate silly games we do, ask for cuddles, tickles and back rubs!

You never know what the future will hold. We still have significant issues and always will have but things can improve. All communication in whatever form it comes in is communication! Speech is great but all other methods are just as valid! Ds mainly uses his iPad to communicate, we are lucky that he has two voices (his aac voice and his verbal voice). Don't be fearful of exploring other methods, they will not hinder the development of speech!

Ds is still autistic he still tries to be an escape artist, breaks everything in sight at times and tries to eat things that aren't edible. These things you just learn to live/cope with. He needs constant monitoring which is hard work. Respite has really made life easier and maybe something you may explore in the future. That's my ramble, hopefully you can take something from it. X

Spikeyfish That's amazing, you must be so proud of him!

Duggeehugs my ds was non-verbal up until about 4. I agree with pp that you have to find something specific to your child that they can connect with and build on that.

With my ds when he was younger it was mainly physical stuff, he's very sensory seeking. So I remember spending huge amounts of time throwing him onto our bed and covering him in a blanket, pillow fights, building towers and knocking them over. It took quite a long time to build a connection with him but once he could see how interested we were in the things that excited him, he wanted to try and communicate with us more. As he got older TV was a big form of communication for him. He would act out favourite scenes from things he liked. Then we used things from his favourite shows to try and bring what he enjoyed into the real and physical world, like drawing pictures or using toys to do re-enactments.

We used intensive interaction with him as well which he seemed to enjoy. There are lots of videos on youtube of people showing you how to do it. But essentially you stay near your child and copy all the things they are doing alongside them. The theory is that it shows them you are willing to enter their world.