Advice please 19 months

[dollymixedup]

My darling god daughter is obviously struggling - doesn't walk, feet increasingly turned in, doesn't recognise her name, few words, no pointing, extremely clingly and sometimes just very very vacant(ie you can tickle, peekaboo etc with no response) almost impossible to make eye contact.
I care for her at least 2 days a week BTW. Community OT visiting next week (saw peadiatrician 3 months ago 5mins in and out basically said hips are ok). She was full term but blue at birth and needed resuscitating.
I'm v worried about mum - she seems almost in denial - just keeps saying she'll get there in the end which I know can be a good attitude.But..
I've worked with kids including SN for many years and although I'm hoping everything will be ok, I'm also quite aware that sometimes you need to really push for good treatment/support and don't think mum is ready for that.
Any advice on how to support mum and I don't know push her a bit(or something)

Hi Dolly,

Has she had an assessment with a health visitor recentley?

Does you friend go to any playgroups ect. Maybe if she could see what other children of a similar age are doing then perhaps this will prompt her to seek help.

Hello Dolly,
It is so nice of you to show concern for your god daughter.
When I had concerns for my son, the opposite happened, everyone kept telling me he'll get there! And I started to think I was being paranoid.
The one person that was straight with me and told me exactly what she thought was my sister(she could see a problem with DS as well). I am ever so grateful to her for being honest.
If your god daughter has a problem then her mother is absolutely wrong in thinking that she will get there just by wishing it. She will need help, and believe me, the sooner the baby gets it the better.
Be honest with her, and maybe take her to see other children the same age so that she can appreciate what you are talking about.
Good luck!

I cut the cord so I'm very involved. It's very strange not being the professional - it's pulling on my heart strings so.

I'm just really worried about being the bearer of bad news.

Thanks for the advice - Do you think I should speak to her before she sees the comm physio (I know I said OT but I was confused!). My experience of services is that (especially at this age) if mums not worried then they won't push either.

Mum works full time - I take her to playgroup sometimes everyone assumes she's half her age and just a big un!

I would broach it with your GD's mum. Tell her that you are a little concerned and offer to accompany them on the visit to the physio.

She needs further assessment. Did she see a community paediatrician or a paediatrician with an interest in child development? Either of those should be good but she may have just got seen in a standard clinic which may not have mean she got seen by the most appropriate person.

Anothet thought is did you go to the paed appointment with her? Could they have given the mum some more info about her development that she is not sharing?

hello all

dgd has significant muscle tone issues, left hand side particulary below the waist. Further assessment coming including pre school special needs service.

Thanks so much for advice, mum and i have talked and plan to go out for dinner this week.

I think me taking on some more childcare 9 to 5 might be on the cards. what do people think will more 1 to 1 be good for her?

I wish wish wish I had not been in denial about my ASD son for so long - liken Tinysocks I also had people saying things like "boys speak later, socialise later, you're being paranoid". If we had started one-to-one ABA therapy at 2 rather than 3, I think his progress would have been much better, as the sooner you start the sooner you have a chance of actually alterning behaviours and even growing bits of the brain governing language etc. As it is, we started at 3 1/2 and he is now doing really well, with 50 words, but I am on a mission to tell all mums to start therapy asap. I was told that up until the age of 5 the brain is "plastic" - ie it can be changed and moulded. You doing more 1-1 sounds just fantastic!

not seen the paed yet.

Thats why I've hung back up to now (although I did suggest speaking to HV which bought us to physio) - but since the physio she's been bringing it up, she also talked about more 1 to 1 care but stated she couldn't do it (finances).

It is her first - and I've been involved from the very start.

I just want to do whats best for dgd as well as mum. Hopefully not in a pushy way but a supportive/concerned way.