Broken by homeschooling

[Northernsoulgirl45]

Dd 3 is likely to be diagnosed with ASD like her big sister who was diagnosedin Lockdown. I suspect PDA but obviously no expert Her sister is medically unfit for school and receiving a very basic education by Teams which is a nightmare in itself as she is unable to communicate through that medium so I am translating. Won't use chat box either. Slowly resigning myself to the fact my bright dd will likely wind up with hardly any GCSE as missed virtually all year 9 and almost a term of year 10. Before than she was top set in everything.
Back to dd3. We are so behind with the work and it is really snowballing. I am miserable. She is miserable.
The school is not piling on pressure but can't help worrying about how behind she will be. She already is a little behind
Today I broke down after yet another video showing all the wonderful work other kids have produced and yet another week of other kids getting Head Teacher Awards and marvellous learner awards etc. She had one award in the last two years and that was so much an afterthought that her name wasn't even on newsletter. I know this shit really doesn't matter but still.
Sorry need to vent

Vent away - PDA is notoriously difficult to manage.

Is there any way your children can go in to school?

Thank you.
The older one is not fit for school right now. Would love younger one to go in but don't qualify. Also dh ECV so pros and cons.
Feeling a bit better this evening. Just accepting that I will just get her to do what I can.

We are in the same boat. I have been trying to avoid looking at the newsletter - we haven't sent one thing in so far, there hasn't been anything done to a good enough standard. He doesn't understand the instructions and wont listen to me trying to explain. Things were bad before lockdown, they are terrible now. No advice but just wanted you to know that you are not alone. I shall try again tomorrow as always

Thank you and Sorry you are in the same boat. It is frustrating because she knows the answer but doesn't sit still enough to write them down. In desperation today I wrote for her but still only did about 10 minutes work.
Onwards and upwards

How old is your youngest?

Have you spoken to the teacher about these awards? I recently spoke to my ds’ teacher about our weekly awards as it had been a year since ds had received one. I had initially forgotten that they weren’t issued during the last lockdown. IMO all children make good enough progress by their own standards and these awards should be awarded to all children to encourage and motivate them. It’s unacceptable for some children to never get them.

Homeschooling is hard

Thank you. Almost 8. Year 3. I think I probably will talk to the teacher. Tbhh she probably would have received one in year 2 if it wasn't for Lockdown.Her year 1 teacher had her down as lazy which I think we now can see wasn't true as clearly there is a processing issue going on.

Definitely speak to the teacher about the awards and work. It's a rubbish teacher who can't find a reason to give an award to every child.

At this point I would prioritise her, and your, mental health. It is pointless being on top of the work if either of you have a breakdown. For DD3 can you focus on maths and English? If writing is a problem would typing be an option? Don't worry about scribing for her if that is necessary.

Does your older DD have an EHCP? One may relieve some of the pressure. They can go up to 25, so she could take GCSEs later &/or over a few years. If DD doesn't have an EHCP you should apply for one as medical needs tuition will cease at the end of Y11. Sadly, LAs don't have to provide education post 16 for those medically unfit for school or college without an EHCP. Not to mention the additional support one would provide and the ability for DD to study more than the core subjects medical needs tuition normally limits a pupil to.

Thank you
We are in the process of applying for an EHCP for the older one but it is so hard putting it in words. May need to contact SENDIASS for more help.
I think I will start typing or writing for her because that seems to be the biggest barrier at the moment .

That is a worry re the Medical Needs as the practitioner at CAMHS seems to be suggesting that she is unlikely to be fit for school anytime soon . Especially as she has had no therapy since December and I suspect therapy by video call is going to be a disaster.

Don't worry about scribing for DD3. It is a reasonable adjustment. You may find the content of her work improves when she doesn't have to think about getting her answers on to paper.

Virtual therapy here has often been a disaster. It just doesn't work.

The statutory duty only applies to CSA pupils, i.e. to the end of Y11. With no statutory duty to provide post 16 provision most LAs don't. With an EHCP EOTAS can be named, thus entitling a pupil to provision they wouldn't otherwise receive.

Medical needs tuition often only covers GCSE cover subjects - maths and English, and depending on your LA sometimes science. Again with an EHCP more subjects can be included.

Watch SENDIASS. They can be brilliant, but some aren't and the receive LA funding so will ultimately toe the party line. I prefer IPSEA and SOSSEN who both have information on their websites and have advice lines.

Thank you for the tips.

O well another stressful day ahead. Dd1 is full on disengaged from the work. Has been unable to participate in last couple of sessions and not done set work despite. telling dh she had. Really worried they will discharge her and we will be back to square one with threats of fines etc once schools return.
Why is everything such a battle?

Don't worry about the threat of fines, it is all talk. DD1 is ill, you won't be prosecuted. Complain if the LA try to stop the medical needs tuition. Remind them DD1 is struggling to engage because of her poor mental health, it's not a choice, and they have a statutory duty to provide education for those out of school.

Thank you. .
Will see what happens.