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DS 13 keeps saying he thinks he has ADHD. Im starting to wonder if he might be right? If I describe him, could anyone in the know comment?

9 replies

WTF144 · 16/01/2021 17:15

DS has always had shit awful concentration and no initiative whatsoever (Blush realise that sounds pretty harsh!) All thro junior school teacher comments were the same: he is bright, but gets nothing done. Things have improved a little at secondary, but same issues are present. Being home has led to me helping him with some of his lessons and it is striking how he can't focus for long. He is also clearly daunted by anything lengthy, like a series of powerpoints as the lesson, not knowing where to start (Literally! When most of us would just begin at page 1 and wprk thro, that doesnt seem obvious to him!) He seems to spend a lot of time huffing and puffing and looking slightly dazed. He also finds it hard to organise himself, often forgetting things he needs to take to school etc. Anyway, does this sound like the AD part of ADHD? If so, would having a diagnosis help? I don't know whether making something of it is a good idea or not! Any advice would be really helpful.

OP posts:
dramaqueen · 16/01/2021 17:21

Didn’t want to scroll past, but don’t have much time to answer now.
Yes, it does sound like my DS, who has just been diagnosed at 19.

The best website I have found is additudemag,com www.additudemag.com/

I think it’s a US site but crammed with great articles. It explains that ADHD is not just what most people think of as a young child bouncing off the walls. The inattention & not being able to get started on tasks is part of it.

By the way you can ask your GP for a referral to a diagnosis centre, but there’s quite a wait. School is probably a good place to start.
Hope it helps

Caselgarcia · 16/01/2021 17:25

Could it be slow processing?My son was diagnosed as having this and he sounds very similar to your son.

WTF144 · 16/01/2021 17:33

Thanks for your replies, will as a result be googling things shortly! I wanted to add a couple of other things that I found strange about him when he was younger in case they are related somehow? Firstly, he refused to draw or paint all the way thro nursery, reception and ever since if he can possibly avoid it. His drawing ability currently looks like a 7 or 8 year olds as a result. Also, he never played with things as a child...no lego phase, cars phase, definitely no imaginative play ever. He has always just trailled around after me wanting to be entertained, else it was TV when younger, and now of course his salvation, the mobile phone! I used to just say that he was a social creatuer, wanted to be with people not play on his own...but htere is more to it, he actually has no idea of what to do if he is on his own. Even now he'll cry if his phone is confiscated for whatever reason, he just does not know what to do with himself, and never has! Is this related in anyway??

OP posts:
dramaqueen · 16/01/2021 17:46

Sounds like a processing issue, but I’m no expert. The more I read about adhd the more I realise all these things are related.

A diagnosis is a doorway into all sorts of support, including medication. You may have to fight for it (diagnosis & support) but it’s worth it.

Caselgarcia · 16/01/2021 18:29

My DS didn't get diagnosed until later years at high school. He's fairly bright but when faced with exams he never got very far and could never finish a paper. When faced with revision, he would sit there without a clue how to start, he just saw it as overwhelming. Every life 'skill' has taken him ages to learn, be it swimming, cycling or learning to drive. Thankfully he's persistent and will keep trying.

MGMidget · 19/01/2021 20:04

Slow processing and ADHD can go hand in hand (especially the ADD variety of ADHD). If there is a long wait and you can afford it it may be worth getting an assessment from an Ed psych because they will carry out tests that you may not get on the NHS which are informative. They can test his processing and concentrations skills on various tasks and it may help you and him understand what his challenges are.

samanthawashington · 22/01/2021 20:06

DS is very like this. However when he does concentrate it is hyperconcentration. To the extent everything else gets forgotten. He loves the thrill of being naughty and pushing boundaries and has no idea what consequences are. If something doesn't interest him he can't be bothered to do it. Teachers all say the same, very bright but can't focus. Loves to mess around and act the clown. He has ADD, not massively hyperactive, I'd say but was awful as a tiny kid.

SqueakyCarrots · 24/01/2021 20:05

There’s Adhd primarily hyperactive, Adhd primarily inattentive and adhd combined type.

He’s so bright if he only - tried harder, applied himself, listened, made an effort and so on are major red flags imho (as someone with adhd).

Teachers seeing us as rude (impulsive), messy (disorganised), lazy (procrastination), are very typical experiences for those of us with adhd.

Your ds is a cracker if he can self indentify he’s struggling with signs of adhd at such a young age. Most of us get so used to being told we are naughty and lazy and stupid we never realise how much extra effort we put into everything just to keep up with others. That extra effort is mentally and physically exhausting long term, there’s a high cross over between Adhd and cfs. Get him referred and assessed now so any extra help, or medication if appropriate, can be put in place now before he’s taking gcses.

You should be proud that your sons got such decent self worth that he can see these are symptoms of a disability that he’s struggling with, not that he’s stupid/naughty/lazy/useless like so many of us get conditioned into accepting. That’s a credit to your parenting.

NotDonna · 24/01/2021 20:11

A private test can be around £600 so they’re not cheap! But the waiting list can be several years. Check with your GP and school SENCO. There’s also a basic online ‘Connor’s’ test which will give you an idea if it’s worth pursuing.

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