Possible autism!? Advice needed!

[WTRH]

Hi all,

I'm hoping you might be able to assist me with some advice on my lovely son who is 3.9 years old.

We are really unsure whether we have anything to be worried about or if there is an underlying problem that we should be dealing with and as we're not experts and have nothing else to compare with we really don't know if there's a problem or not.

As a quick insight... Our DS spoke his first word at 12 months and had a very slow progression from then on. He had more words by 18 months and only really started putting 2-3 words and phrases together at 2.6 months and now at 3.9months we have anything from 4-8 word sentences.. Sometimes same sentences for things but lots of variation now and questions such as

What's that
Who's that
Why (sometimes... Maybe 1 or 2 a week)
Where we going today
What's their name
And others

His speech does seem a bit behind still but he's getting there. He goes to preschool 3 times a week and his behaviour was pretty poor between 2-2.75 when his speech was very limited and didn't play much with the other children. Now in preschool he speaks to the other children and will play with them aswell. He still struggles quite badly with sharing and likes to Control games and gets upset quite quickly... He can go from 0-100 in a split second!!

He has a hilarious sense of humour.. Great eye contact.... Very engaging with everyone.... Has some imaginary play but not much..... He can say a piece of food is a spider and a stick is a wand etc.... Plays with cars and trains and brooms around Plays with toys appropriately. Pretends his teddy's can speak to me and gets me to play along....... Plays with his shopping till and pretended the other day when on his electronic bike that he was driving to the park then to his home then to mummy's home in the kitchen.

Responds to name 90% of the time sometimes struggle when watching TV

Points things out to us to gain our attention

Doesn't care for routine change

Doesn't seem overly bothered by loud noises like hoovers, hairdryers, music but sometimes when children scream really loud it can bother him

Tanturms last about 3mins max and then all forgotten

Here's the thing that worry us.

He pointed late.... We think! Can't really remember

Still Flaps... (Sometimes!!!) When excited.. For exaple when playing with his marble run toy and sometimes when watching TV if something really exciting is happening .. But again... This is sometimes and not all the time... He could easily go days without doing it then a day or 2 of doing it.

Sometimes but only at home walks on tiptoes and only for a few seconds

2-3 word Speech was late-ish.. Always met the milestone late on as in the last month expected if that makes sense.

Loves to fiddle with things in his hands like playdoh... Always done this since he was a baby

We're really not sure if we should pursue an assessment or just leave things as we are really not sure if there's anything to be worried about. And being very honest, it's the flapping, whilst not all the time, that worries us as I know it's associated with autism.

Thanks for any advice

A worried mum x

With the obvious caveat that I don't know your ds and have never even seen him, I wouldn't be too concerned, from what you have said.

I think the crucial thing is having a conversation with staff at his Nursery They presumably see him regularly. They know a lot about child development. They will see him interacting with other children. If they have concerns, they will have access to specialist Area SENCos / Inclusion Officers who they can ask for advice.

I echo the pp's caveat - no one on here can diagnose and we don't know your child.

But from what you've said, I would encourage you to think about assessment, or even just keep watching and waiting but don't dismiss the idea.

Simply because... you have obviously thought about it carefully and are doing lots of observations and weighing things up. Yet, you still came on here to post . To me that says you have a sense about it that's not going away, so listen to it.

The more I learn about autism, the more I realise that lots of children just don't fit all the classic boxes or red flags and can therefore go unrecognised. Autism is a lifelong difference and if he has it / is it, it's good to know. Recognition brings understanding and that can be priceless. Good luck!

Sorry for taking so long to reply and thank you so much for your posts.

We have been in constant contact with our nursery who believe there is nothing to be concerned about with our DS. They said he does struggle sometimes playing nicely with the other children as he is quite controlling and confident but is always wanting to play with the other children and always socialising and talking to them.

I raised our concerns to the SENCO who also felt they don't really have autism concerns but being brutally honest, we're not to sure about her credentials as it's a small family run nursery....

I know the above sounds convincing but as I said previously... Its mainly the flapping that's really concerning for us..... Do other children flap without having autism?

He follows directions really well, answers questions and asks. Is not able to read or do any form of maths so we're not sure if it's 'aspergers' but we are so naive about autism and keep reading very scary things online.

Any further advice would be great and thank you again