Hate myself

[lollipoprainbow]

My 8 year old dd has suspected ASD. It's her Christmas party day at school today but she refused to wear anything remotely festive and has gone in wearing boring leggings and top with her hair in the usual style despite me telling her it looks gorgeous loose. We ended up having a massive shouting match and I've come to work feeling awful! I feel awful for wishing I had a NT child.

Feeling awful about yourself won't help anyone. I do understand, I shouted at my child in the past for things they couldn't help, and felt terrible afterwards. I have worked really hard on my own emotional responses to things so that I can feel better about how I support their needs. You may be running on empty, it is hard doing what we do, try and take some time for yourself to recharge if you can.

Lollipoprainbow sorry that you're having a lousy day. Often as soon as I wave my DS off to school I feel terrible guilt about my reaction to his earlier behaviour.

Even when you can understand where the behaviour comes from it doesn't always make it easy to manage. I think it's natural at times to grieve for what life could have been like.

You need to give yourself and her a break. A lot of kids with SEN really dont enjoy the run up to xmas at school where everything is different.

@lollipoprainbow Honestly take a breath and don't beat yourself up. It's been a crazy year, stressful run up to christmas and managing your daughters needs.
My son is the same and hates change. I ask him what he wants to do about food/routine and each year he says keep it the same. He doesn't like too much fuss but loves certain same foods etc. He says 'it's the little familiar things that make me happy.'

We have all felt "ffs why does this have to be so hard" then feeling crap for handlinging it badly. I now celebrate my successes- like a morning where iv held my temper and tell myself when it's been a not great day that to.orrow will be better

Thanks all things are harder than ever as her one and only friend has cut off all contact due to having a brand new friend. So so hard. My daughter has taken it badly.