Hello
Ok I have questions. Do your kids have meltdowns with everyone who cares for them? My daughter can have awful meltdowns with me and my husband but has never done so with her childminder (she has been with since she was 12 months and she's now 3.5) or at preschool - they don't even really get any crying or whinging, apparently she's nothing but happy and delightful - which is wonderful to hear but it makes me wonder about her behaviour at home - if it's a true ASD meltdown and not a typical 3 year old tantrum. If it was a meltdown because she was overwhelmed and completely unable to regulate those emotions would it not happened wherever and whoever she is with?
Or is it usual for ASD kids to have meltdowns only when they are with the people they feel most comfortable with?
Also, can you distinguish between an ASD meltdown and just a tantrum and do you treat them differently in terms of how you deal with it? For example in a meltdown situation it's all about making her feel safe, calm, protected and if she says she 'needs' something I would get it - but if it seems more like a tantrum because she's not getting her own way I might try to explain why she can have her own way right now and generally be abit 'stricter' - or does the fact that she has ASD mean that every tantrum has potential to turn into meltdown so you treat all the same from a parenting perspective?
I'm sorry I'm not sure any of this makes sense, I guess I'm just struggling with knowing if what we are doing is right in terms of parenting her and also managing her meltdowns - I want to calm her and understand her emotions but at the same time I'm worried if we give into everything she will end up expecting that she will always get her own way.
Just to be clear this isn't a post about diagnosis and does she/doesn't she - just wanting to hear about other people's experiences with their kids ASD meltdowns.
Thanks