Where to go for secondary school -High Functioning ASD Son

[Notsoyummymummy12]

I don’t know why I didn’t think about it earlier but I’ve been drowning in challenges to find a good school for DS. I hope and pray some parents out there found support and good nurturing schools for their kids.

We go to a little private school and he’s doing well overall academically but not so great with the friendships. He struggles with the social communications.
I’m worried sick that his mental health will start to deteriorate as he says things that make me feel so sad. During the summer holidays I tried to get him to go on a play date as I was friendly ish with the mum. My son ended up hiding in the woods as he didn’t want me getting upset but her 2 sons pretty much ignored him and played by themselves.

I realise this small school may not be right for him as there are some pretty alpha boys who love sports and he always ends up on the side lines. We are trying to work out what to do overall but the age 11 change over really stresses me. Any parents found a good school state or independent that works for bright high functioning ASD ( recent ICAT tests had his maths, reading and verbal reasoning at 3 years about his actual age).
I’m a couple of years off this change point but I feel I need to gear up to sort out an EHCP and know my target school to get the ground work in place. At the moment feel like I’m in free fall with everything.

Any advice from parents who’ve been here?

Thank you

I should say we are happy to move in and around London!

My autistic son is early secondary and is also very bright. Gifted IQ etc and also struggled massively with social interactions and emotional development. He's in an autism school and it is the best thing we ever did. He gets tons of therapy on the things he finds hard, a bespoke curriculum with extension work, understanding and flexible staff and peers and an environment that suits neurodiverse children rather than having to mould to a NT one. He has solid friends for the first time in his life and he feels happy and 'normal' being with children like him.

I don't live in London so can't help you there but I wouldn't discount SEN schools. We were heavily encouraged to steer clear because he is bright but MS learning is no good if it's not tailored to ND properly or you're too anxious / mentally unwell to attend.

We have a 15years old very bright child with autism. His primary school sounds like your son’s - a very small independent school. We chose a local grammar school which had a brilliant SENDCo. We started looking at the beginning of Year 5 and visited many schools (mainly independent), but it was the SENDCo that swung it for us. The headteacher thought he’d need an EHCP as he had come from a small school, but he so far hasn’t.

We aren’t in London so can’t give specific advice, but start early and meet the SENDCOs of the schools you are visiting.

Sorry can’t be more helpful.

Thank you for responding.
Really useful to hear this