First ever successful shopping trip

[blossomhill]

Yesterday the children weree both off as it was a parent annual review day. So I decided to brave the supermarket. Something I haven't done for about 18 months. Did try in the summer holidays and dd was running all over the place and after running after her we left very promptly! Me stressed to the max.
Yesterday I explained to her that we needed to get some shopping and that if she was really good I would get her something really nice.
I still can't believe how good she was. She was helping me push the trolly and putting things in. We ended up with lots of extras that dd wanted but I would have given her anything as I was so shocked by how good she was.
Got to the checkout dd and ds loaded all of the shpooing on the conveyoer belt and then sat down and read their magazines while I packed it all up!
I know it sounds a really minor thing but I am so happy and it is a real acheivement for us. Hopefully if we carry on doing it dd will carry on to be calm and it will make our lives a hell of a lot easier if I can do food shops in the summer holidays!!!!

excellent news. am glad for you. bet you're proud of dd

That's brilliant news Blossomhill! It's not a minor thing at all. I know exactly where you are coming from and used to have a really stressful trip to Tescos prior to ds's medication.

I would get about one third of the way down the first aisle and he would start by clearing shelves, screaming at the top of his lungs or running around all over the place. I would stick him under my arm (too big to do that with now, sadly), calm him down and take him to my Mum's just down the road. TBH it was like a spectator sport with everyone watching the "naughty kid" and the stressed mum.

Of course, shopping now could cost you an absolute fortune - it does me. He usually has a comic if he behaves, even now, and he has to push the trolley or all hell breaks loose! Congratulations! x

[GRIN]Brilliant news! That is a major achievement. Bless her.

that is excellent news...

Well done, BH. I still can't face supermarket shopping alone with ds1 & 2. The screams when I walk down the 'wrong' aisle. Lifting ds1 in and out of the trolley. Aaaarrgghh! So congratulations to you. I know how much it must mean to you.

excellent!

Thanks everyone

I knew you would all understand how important it is. We are going again tomorrow!!!!!!

Brave woman!

It really has built up my confidence. As we all know tomorrow could be v. different depending on the mood dd is in. At the moment she is just so calm!

I hope this is the start of things to come. (ooer!) Good luck and don't forget to report back. I will be but also very .

I don't how your ds is coppertop but sometimes dd surprises me. I really didn't think for a minute that dd would co-operate.
It was like the birthday parties. Dd was a nightmare TBH Running around and would always end up leaving early. She went to about 20 last year and now is really good as she knows what to expect. A lot of it is me being brave enough to tackle situations and the more practice the better for dd!

I hear ya Blossomhill - though my ds is obviously alot better now than pre medication.

We went out today and there was a childrens magician with a puppet doing a ventriliquist (?) act. My ds could be heard WAY above the other children (and adults) cos he laughs so loudly. It is so lovely to hear him genuinely enjoying himself, (as he does a lot of false, put on laughing too) but it began to draw stares from everybody after a while.

Later on we went back to the full showing and we sat on the front row, but I think that my ds thought the show was only for him, no one else. Even when the magician asked for the assistance of a little girl, he stuck his hand up immediately and shouted "me, me!". The magician said "but you're a boy!" but it didn't seem to deter him. Half way through the act, his legs started kicking out and swinging about so I sat him on the chair next to me and gently lay my hand on them which is the sign to calm down the leg movements.

I pretended not to notice that other parents and kids were watching, but it was nice that it was a good reaction for him to have rather than drawing stares when he has a tantrum/meltdown, which obviously is awful.

Our shopping trips on Monday eve and Thursday are always alot nicer as he gets involved by pushing the trolley and sometimes pretending to be a crane lifting what I need into the trolley (though this can take a long time, so not one to do if you're in a bit of a hurry!)

I wish you all the luck - oh, just think of how much easier your life will be if your dd enjoys shopping from now on! (((hugs)))

Bless you Choclo8. It's so nice to hear ds enjoyed the magicians show. It can be hard though can't it when you think people are looking. My dh thinks I am paranoid but I swear I can see people looking from all directions. People just don't have the understanding unfortunately. I was out to lunch with a very good friend of mine and I explained how ignorant people can be about dd. She has been called backward, not quite the full ticket, simple and the teacher tells me on Friday she is one of the brightest in the class (she is the youngest too!). I said that her dd who is diabetic people are so sympathetic too because it is a medical condition. In a way my dd's is medical in the fact that unfortunately her brain doesn't always work in the way it should. People just thought naughty child, parent can't control her.
Sometimes I just feel like giving these people a shake and say "how would you feel? It's not her/my fault !"
On a positive note it has been great that the shopping went so well and hopefully we nay go again tomorrow but dd is not 100% so we'll have to see! I just think that I have changed and I really think to myself she cannot help it (not all of the time as sometimes she is just naughty like 5 year olds can be) and that has made me stronger to deal with these things. I am hoping to brave the cinema but unless it's Nemo or Monsters Inc. I doubt she'll watch it!

Yes, yes you are right Blossomhill - our children are both way above the other children in their classes and yet their behaviour gets noticed above their academic work!

One of my best friends met me and ds for a coffee one evening and ds was being "quirky" - not naughty, just making little comments and trying to join in with the conversation. My "best friend" looked at ds and said "you're not right are you?". I have never spoke to him again from that day.

I can now take ds to the cinema - provided he really wants to see the film enough. Mind you, we ALWAYS end up in the loo a couple of times during a performance, at least - even when it's really exciting...and of course, the loo is usually the one furthest away from the screen!

I am so glad you are feeling stronger now. Just a thought but would you be able to take her to try on some clothes? This was a revelation to me when I first did this, ds is so used to me trying things on whilst he sat there playing with the hanger, that I thought one day I would give it a try. He liked the idea that he could do something that an adult did and liked posing in the mirror too. Though depending on his mood, he won't always join in.

The best of luck for your shopping trip tomorrow Blossomhill. x

Chocol8. Thanks a lot for your supportive words, they really mean a lot
What a complete ar**hole your "friend" sounds. How dare these people think they can talk about our children like that. Don't they think we have feelings or that our children do?
Sometimes I completely understand why the family with 2 autistic boys moved to an isolated island off of Scotland! Sorry, I am still fuming after reading the rhino skin thread!
Blossomhillxxx

It's strange you should mention that Blossomhill - I wrote the following on a previous thread after a particularly bad day with the SENCo and then the swimming instructor - "I went home with the feeling that perhaps if we buggered off to the countryside or just somewhere far far away and lived like hermits, no one could ask any more stupid questions and personally attack me for trying to be a concerned mother. I will keep that thought as a back up plan though!".

It must get us all like this sometimes I guess. When I took my ds shopping last night and he insisted as usual that he should push the trolley, he also insisted on putting the chosen items in the trolley because I should not lift them as I was poorly (acute tonsilitis), bless him. Not even allowed to lift a lettuce! Strangely though, it was all change when it was time to load onto the belt and pack it all up, but then he had to go and look at the toys near the cashdesk, which is alot more important!

Even if I saw my ex "friend" in the street now I would blank him - surely he knows what he did, especially as he has an AS brother and one of his ds were dx with AS at one stage? Peoples stupidity never fails to shock me, although as I get older maybe this will wear off.

Please let us know how the shopping trip goes though Blossomhill. xxx