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Terrified my 22mo has ASD

4 replies

Luke2019 · 25/11/2020 20:08

Hi everyone. Writing this from a pretty low and desperate place. My precious DS is 22mo and I am thinking he may have Autism. Up until a week ago, I had no concerns whatsoever. Didn't really pay attention to the little things and just thought he was speech delayed, like most of the boys in my family were. He has recently started spinning in circles whilst looking out the corner of his eyes which at first, I found absolutely hilarious and adorable. I ended up Googling it and lots of scary things came up about Autism. When I looked in to Autism further, I realised my DS has lots of the early signs and he even got a high risk score on the MCHAT test. He doesn't point to share attention or even point at all, he doesn't bring me toys or engage me in his play and his eye contact isn't great either. Sometimes he looks at me when I call his name, sometimes not. He doesn't put his arms out to be held (although he definitely did this as a younger baby). Every now and then he sort of will if I go to pick him up myself. He has no words but did pretend cough the other day after I coughed (I did it twice to make sure, and he copied again). He does babble and make sounds "da da da" etc. He also still puts things in his mouth a lot and licks things, which I know can be normal at this age. Other things I've noticed are he jumps up and down when excited, again, I know this can be normal and sometimes laughs to himself. I honestly am driving myself crazy from analysing his every move. I must admit, in the past I've sort of just let him do his own thing and maybe not got down and played with him enough. He does also love the TV. 😳 In the past few days I've tried to get him to help me put the laundry in the machine to assess his understanding. I put a top in and said "DS do it" and he did pick something off the floor and put it in, but I don't know if that is just copying/him wanting to do it anyway rather than following instruction. I did the same with getting him to put bath toys in the bath which he did copy/do. He is very affectionate, always has been and loves cuddling. He is also happy, smiley and easy going. I've started reading to him and pointing to pictures in very simple terms for example "cat, flower" then turning the page. I also move his finger to the image as if making him point to try and teach him to. The same with playing with him, I will say, "Apple please", put the toy apple in his hand and guide his hand to mine, then make a big fuss of him (even though he isn't actually doing it himself). Does anyone have any more tips for me? I've terrified myself from Googling so much and am now convinced I am going to end up with a severely disabled son, in a special school and maybe even non verbal and aggressive towards me and I won't be able to control it as a single mum. :( I suffer badly with anxiety as you can probably tell. I'm only 28, on my own with 2 kids (DD is 6 and NT), on benefits and I can't afford all the therapies they talk about online. I've phoned my HV and she said to keep an eye on it but wait until his 27mo check. Should I be doing more? My family think I'm going insane and that there is absolutely nothing wrong with him, that he is just delayed like all the boys in our family. My DB and both of my nephews did not speak until they were 3. And my sister said my nephew was also not pointing or responding to his name until 2.5. Please help me. I'm not eating or sleeping. I love my DS so much but am looking at him feeling like maybe I don't even know him which is tearing me up inside. Sorry this is so long.

OP posts:
AliCanTea · 25/11/2020 21:40

Didn’t want to read and run. I suffer with anxiety myself and know the panic spiral that can come from googling! It sounds like your DS has some wonderful traits and it’s great that you’re reading with him etc. It’s impossible to know what the outcome will be when he’s this young (a HV once told me that all toddlers do things that could be seen as traits of those with autism, its when they don’t grow out of them that it’s worth investigating). I’m sure a more knowledgeable person will be along soon, but it’s worth remembering that even if there is an ASD diagnosis eventually (no reason from your post to think this is a definite) - it is called a spectrum for a reason and the extreme examples you mention are very much one end of it. There are genuine benefits to having ASD humans in the world. When I used to teach, they were some of my favourite pupils Smile

Without wishing to be patronising, I find a quick route to starting my way out of a worry vortex is to relax the four ‘T’s: toes, teeth, tongue, tummy. Hope you can get some sleep, knowing you have a lovely boy who will show you all the elements of who he is one day at a time.

Nervyy · 02/10/2023 22:16

Hi @Luke2019 i hope you and your son are doing well! I’m just wondering how your son is now / did you get a diagnosis? My son has similar traits albeit a bit younger but I rarely see posts about others looking out the sides of their eyes so I’m just curious really! Hope it’s ok to ask. Xx

ilove123 · 03/10/2023 20:04

Nervyy · 02/10/2023 22:16

Hi @Luke2019 i hope you and your son are doing well! I’m just wondering how your son is now / did you get a diagnosis? My son has similar traits albeit a bit younger but I rarely see posts about others looking out the sides of their eyes so I’m just curious really! Hope it’s ok to ask. Xx

Hi Nervy, this is the OP under a different name. I can't get back in to my original account! My boy is 4yrs7m old now. He has changed a lot since I posted this. He is still undiagnosed but on the list for an ASD assessment. He now points, claps, waves and did all the things that seemed impossible for him at the time. He speaks! He's very delayed but he speaks. Mostly echololaia but he does have functional language too. To be honest, he yabbers to himself all day. He can let me know what he wants and I know he will get there in time. He attends nursery and has settled well now. He doesn't really interact with the other children but he has brilliant play skills now, loves toys and acting things out with them. He's mad about pirates and vikings. He sleeps well, is a fussy eater though. He's quite hard work as he gets frustrated due to his delayed speech but he's absolutely gorgeous and my whole world. The nursery are very supportive. I've delayed his school start for a year and have a meeting tomorrow about where he should attend school. I would like him to attend a speech and language unit currently to help him progress further. Hope this helps xx

ilove123 · 03/10/2023 20:09

ilove123 · 03/10/2023 20:04

Hi Nervy, this is the OP under a different name. I can't get back in to my original account! My boy is 4yrs7m old now. He has changed a lot since I posted this. He is still undiagnosed but on the list for an ASD assessment. He now points, claps, waves and did all the things that seemed impossible for him at the time. He speaks! He's very delayed but he speaks. Mostly echololaia but he does have functional language too. To be honest, he yabbers to himself all day. He can let me know what he wants and I know he will get there in time. He attends nursery and has settled well now. He doesn't really interact with the other children but he has brilliant play skills now, loves toys and acting things out with them. He's mad about pirates and vikings. He sleeps well, is a fussy eater though. He's quite hard work as he gets frustrated due to his delayed speech but he's absolutely gorgeous and my whole world. The nursery are very supportive. I've delayed his school start for a year and have a meeting tomorrow about where he should attend school. I would like him to attend a speech and language unit currently to help him progress further. Hope this helps xx

Meant to add Nervy, I've not seen him look out the corner of his eyes for at least a couple of years. That's been replaced with scripting pirate scenes off the TV now 😂

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