ASD Mum - Desp Needing a Break!

[Anon4538]

I desperately need some kind of break. I can’t cope with the trying to get my little one into school each day, sometimes not making it at all, the daily meltdowns bless her, day and night, not coping with sounds and smells. I’m depressed and put on a brave face most of the time, but I’m exhausted and in desperate need of some time or a short break - I feel awful saying it.

We were offered social services as a passport to being offered respite care - but I know our little one won’t be comfortable going off the that whatsoever, she won’t even stay with family for even half an hour now, without us.

I can’t go on like this. The days are so stressful and I feel for her so much. I don’t know what else to do and we are now trying for meds via camhs.

So sad x

Does DD have an EHCP?

I do think you need to accept a carer's assessment from social care and an assessment via the disabled children's team for DD. As you have said, you can not continue as you are. You will reach burnout. Do you have a DP who could care for DD to allow you some time out? Or DD's father?

What would DD be like if someone came into your home rather than her going out?

I didn't think DS1 would cope, and to begin with it was stressful for all of us, but once we found the right provider, settled into a routine and built the time up it wasn't as bad as I feared. And it was necessarily for all our sakes. Unfortunately, the disruption this year has made it more difficult again but I'm hopeful when things settle down it will be OK.

I agree, I think you need to persist with respite. Start with baby steps and don’t expect too much too soon. In the long run it will be worth it. In the short term take whatever time you can for yourself.

I’m sorry you’re struggling

Even if you think your DD is not ready now it is best to start the process. If you leave it till actual breaking point it can take months for a support package to be agreed. The same with CAMHS, not sure what type of medication you are looking at and for what type of diagnosis but they can be seen as a last resort. It’s difficult but you need to ask for help but be open to accepting support.

We have been really struggling with our dd, both at home and school.
Her paediatrician is now referring her to CAMHS and in the meantime we are looking into meds and respite.

She has been excellent for the last few days, but she can turn and we just can no longer give her the support she needs during her meltdowns. It’s getting harder and we need support too!!
How old is your dd?

I'm struggling too with my 8 year old dd with suspected ASD. I'm a single mum and it's hard work with the meltdowns and she really struggles to make friends due to social communication issues. Breaks my heart, in tears this morning with it all.