ASD - How to tackle swearing & name calling?

[Blossom4538]

Any tips much appreciated. DD is higher functioning, Age 9. It is horrendous!

My ds is nearly 11, ASD, goes to a special school and we have had swearing as soon as he became verbal at 5.

School and we tried everything but about 3 years ago I just decided that I wasn't going to worry. The outcome is that he is now quite moral about swearing when we are out and will tell us off for it, but he is very sweary indoors.

I would say to your ds, if you swear at school or out in public, you will sit somewhere quiet for 5mins. Tell him that younger children are not allowed to hear swear words. If you are out shopping, I would take him to sit in the car for five mins, not as a punishment, but so he can understand that swear words in public are not allowed.

Swearing around the house I would just ignore but explain to siblings that they are not allowed to swear, but ds has a different brain so we just ignore it in the house.

Don't punish him, it is likely he enjoys the emphatic nature of the words, my ds used to love shouting 'duck' purely because it has a hard sound at the beginning and end!

Thank you. There is such nastiness towards us with it too. In public, it’s due to noise triggers, or visual threat of them. At home, it seems from frustration but also aggressive and hateful, very nasty.

I can’t cope with her nastiness anymore.

She often threatens me.

You’re going to just have to ignore her and / or keep reminding her to speak nicely, not to use those words, it’s not kind, she’s making you feel sad, that’s not how you speak to her so it’s not how you expect her to speak to you etc etc. Hard to know what to advise as I don’t know her level of development and what she does / doesn’t understand.

Hard I know, ds doesn’t personally insult he doesn’t understand that yet (and hope he never does) but he swears often. Fucking being his favourite word in the world, can I have a peanut butter fucking sandwich - he said yesterday! I said you can have a peanut butter sandwich ds but not a peanut butter fucking sandwich because i don’t know what that is?!

(he’s 7 in January) I just really have to ignore him, he’s the same at school which is even more embarrassing but they ignore him too. If we draw any attention to it he kicks it up a gear and does it more to wind us up.

I’ve tried the whole I’m not listening to you ds until you stop the F word and he stood in front of me going fucking fucking fucking for about 20 minutes, I ignored him the whole time as if i tell him off / take him to his room / ban his iPad / ban all the sweets in the world he buzzes off the reaction and does it even more, he’s such a strange child

X

Does she wear ear defenders in public if she’s frightened of the noise? Bless her, (and you!) I know it’s hard for you, I do get it, my own ds pushes my buttons all the time.

Another mum here with a potty mouth child it does get you down and is upsetting when they say it with such menace towards you.

I’ve notice that DS does it more if he gets a reaction so try to ignore. It wears you down though, I never swore at my parents.

My son used to say really inappropriate things randomly. The more I told him to stop, the more he would say it - it was like a game to him. I found it so embarrassing
but ignoring him is what worked for me as I didn't want to give attention to negative behaviour. I know it's easier said than done but it's worth a try.