Bad behaviour at school

[sheepmary2222]

Hi my son is in reception class now in SEN school. He has speech and development delay.

at home he behaves perfectly fine, but in school he will bite, pinch or hit other kids for no reason. He is not angry or frustrated and just does it for fun. Teacher has informed us several times about his behaviour issues.

We tell him not to bite/pinch/hit in school everyday/ every morning. Also I have used pictures to remind him.

Today he bit a boy’s finger with no reason and the boy needed to go to A&E.... I really don’t know what to do.. how to help/stop him doing that... Also, should I write an apology note to the boy’s parents ?

Appreciate for any advice!!!

I don't think that you can safely say that he does it for fun tbf.

There isn't much fun in being in trouble.

Did he go to nursery? Or is this his first exposure to other children in large groups?

@chickenyhead. Thanks for your reply. He went to nursery and there were 20+ children in there. Now in the reception class there are only 8 kids.

He never bite/pitch/hit to an adult (like me, my husband or the teachers). We had discussed with the teacher and there was no pattern of his behaviour. It is a random act and nothing trigger him. we just don’t know why he did that..........

I wonder whether any other children in the group are behaving this way? Have the school notified you of any specific concerns with regards to patters etc?

Something must be upsetting him for this to be new behaviour. At that young age they aren't very good at saying what. Any clues from his art/drawing at school?

Do you know what the other children in the class are like? It could be there’s something about the environment that’s stressing him but also it could be an attempt to get a reaction because they all struggle with communication skills?

@chickenyhead @openupmyeagereyes

thanks for your messages. I'm not sure how other kids behave in the the class. but my son is the most sociable one and willing to play with anyone.

we have checked with the teacher previously. For example, does he want to get others' attention or copy others' actions and cause the bad behavior? but the teacher said no.

I feel bad for the boy got bitten and I dont know how to stop my son doing again. I will discuss with the teacher again. thanks a lot !

Then I think they need to do some ABC analysis to see what’s really causing the behaviour.

If he’s doing it ‘for fun’ then it will be because he gets a reaction from it.

When ds was younger we used the Teeth are not for biting and Hands are not for hitting books and read them a lot!

@openupmyeagereyes
thanks for your suggestion! I haven't heard the ABC analysis and will look into it.

thanks again !

Is he able to play appropriately with kids? My dd is autistic and has an intellectual disability as well. When she wants her sister to play she hits the sofa right near her or will tap her as her sister then gets cross (she also has Sen) and chases after her. Maybe your son is pinching as a way to communicate he wants to play. Or it could be something sensory. My youngest tends to do it when she’s quite hyper (she also has a diagnosis of adhd) and that’s when we see the behaviour.

@Moirasrose thanks for your message! I have been very busy lately as there was a confirmed covid case in my son’s class and we need to be self-isolated for 2 weeks.... I need to keep him occupied at home 😅😅

He can play with other children nicely. The pinching is like a spontaneous act. We just don’t understand why he does that.

I talked to the teacher and checked how bad the boy’s finger was. Luckily he was fine with a bit sore with his finger . They played together again in the class.

I just hope that my son will behave nicely when he gets back to school after 2 weeks isolation.

Thanks a lot!

The school need to be doing a bit more to find out why he is doing it. It could be that he is developmentally delayed and is behaving therefore like a younger child - biting is common at 2 or 3. It could also be something is stressing him in the environment. My dd did this in recpetion / year 1 and she was basically lashing out at the closest person when something went wrong. E.g asked to put something away when she wasn't ready to finish, she would do it but on the way would bite or pinch a peer. Busy, noisy classroom, she felt overwhelmed and did the same. The school need to look at when it happens and once they know the function of the behaviour, they can do something about it. If they just put him back in the same situations, then it will continue. As an aside, my dd stopped this very quickly once her needs were being met in school.

@cansu thanks for your message ! I will discuss with the teachers. thanks again !!!