Lack Eye contact/Avoiding faces -9 week old

[mongo123]

Hi everyone..i have a 9 week old baby with eye contact issues. She can def see. She can track (most times she will do it) and spends a good deal of time looking at her high contrast toys either overhead or during tummy time and will smile and coo and spend a good deal enjoying this. She does not seem to like the mirror toys. I am noticing the lack of eye contact and avoidance of faces moreso dyribg the day. At night (we stay up late) her eye contact is usually so much better...she is nore alert and engaged and sometimes will actually stare. She also coos back and forth with us. However...She avoids looking at our face esp during the day and makes fleeting eye contact. It is enougn to make me concerned. I have no other issues with her development. She does not consistently turn to look yet in the direction of noise but when she does.. she seems to be confused as to which way to look...she sometimes looks side to side but cant seem to see me. but will startle and make expressions such as surprise etc on her face. A couple times when she heard my voice or her brothers she will try to turn toward it or she will respond with a smile. She sleeps all day. Wakes up for her feeds but only has maybe 2 truly awake periods. Most awake at night ďuring her night time wake period. This is when we get the most eye contact.Example during the day today she was not giving any eye contact at all but tonight was brilliant. Excellent eye contact with everyine...cooing back and firth...staring atbour faces. I forgot all my worries as i do every night. But the next day during the day is the same again. Why does she seem to purposely ignore people all other times.? Just to note during the day she goes back to sleep rignt after her feed except for a couple times when she would wake for 15 to 30 mins. If i stand over her she looks away. If i pick her up she looks away. She will look at me during bath time and feeding times. At 2 doctors appts she surprisingly displayed great eye contact and had back and forth cooing conversations and smiled with them so they dont share my worry. However i am with her 24/7 and this is seriously getting me so anxious and depressed. When we do get the eye contact she imitates of we put our tongue out ( started this as early as 3 weeks old but it has lessened now) ...she will also smile and coo. When did your baby start engaging more and being interested in people consistently.

I think babies can finding looking at faces and maintaining eye contact quite stressful and if you're worrying about it that's probably making it worse.

Honestly at 9 weeks old just enjoy her and try to relax!!

I was wondering if you had an update on this? My son is exactly the same and I am quite worried

Hi i am sorry for the late reply. Im just noticing your question. My baby is almost 8 mths now and honestly about a week or 2 after my post she started making mucj better eye contact. She is very social and engaging now. She still doesnt like too much up close eye contact but a lot of babies dont. Hope it has improved im your baby by now.

Thank you @mongo123! It took him until about 13 weeks but now he is absolutely fine. Such a relief!

I'd just like to comment here in case other worried people come across this thread. I understand your 'relief but that word is actually quite offensive to parents with DC on the spectrum. Yes it's a different parenting path, and mine is also demand avoidant so all the usual parenting techniques do not work, but my DS has taught me more about what being a good parent is than anyone else could ever do. And about being a good person. He has asc and actually my relief came when he was finally diagnosed because then everything slotted into place. If I could take away his autism, I wouldn't, because it makes him who he is. His precision, attention to detail, mathematical ability, and unique take on the world are all strengths. Yes he has challenges and yes his needs are different to neurotypical kids, but being autistic can involve strengths as well. I'd recommend reading about neurodiversity.

@MagratGarlikInDisguise I sincerely apologize for causing offense! I actually meant ‘relief’ from the point of view of being able to build my relationship with him via eye contact (selfish I know as that is what I felt I needed from him, not necessarily what he might need) rather than relief that it is not asd; if nothing else because eye contact is not a diagnosis, particularly at this age. But I can very much see how my statement was both poorly worded and hurtful. As someone with neurodiverse friends, I really should have known better. Again, please accept my apologies.

Honestly no worries @Hamspam and thank you. I just wanted to put it out there that if someone was thinking that their child might be neurodiverse, it's not all terrible things (although it can be hard, of course).