Help !!!!

[lollipoprainbow]

Feel at the end of my tether with my daughter she has been in tears most of the day full of anxiety about every little thing, I don’t know how to help her, I’m desperate for her to be happy and carefree help !!!

How old is she?

She's 8

Hi

I know no background... but send a huge, supportive hug!

Yesterday we went to the coast and although my DD 10 (newly diagnosed ASD) was fully prepared: Eg been there before; visual time table of the day; route plan print out; knew what we were going to eat; knew no shopping; had her 'support strategy bag'. She just couldn't cope!

It is so hard isn't it xxx

Is her anxiety about knowing what’s going to happen or about specific things when they happeni? Have you tried a visual timetable with her so she knows what to expect each day?

What does she say about it? If you were to ask her what can be don’t to support her what would she say?

Does she have a condition like ASD or is there any history of trauma that might be causing it?

She's being assessed for ASD and CAHMS are sure she has it, it's a long wait before a proper diagnosis and I wonder that the support is after that. She worries about me dying, if we go out she hates me driving, scared I'm going to lose my purse, keys etc. I hate to see her so anxious and not enjoying life like an 8 year old should.

There’s a book called The highly sensitive child that might be helpful. I’ve not read it myself but I think it’s highly regarded.

I’m no expert, hopefully someone with some experience will post some advice, but her fears are very real to her and from what I read it’s important to acknowledge them and not try to brush them aside. You could use a technique called reflective listening to let her know that you understand what she is feeling. Alongside this you can gently remind her of times that you have done these things and they have been fine. You will likely need to repeat these often.

Mindfulness techniques may also be helpful. Does she have some sort of comfort toy or object that she carries with her that may make her feel more secure?

Morning

Ignore all of these ideas if you use them already - but these are some of the things we use to support my DD.

She has a personal whiteboard, that she writes daily events/reminders on.

If we are doing something very different (ie the coast) I type out a breakdown of the day, on a version of communicate in print.

She has a bag full of little activities at the ready for the car, or to take to family dos etc.

DD has a 5 point scale.

She has a little bag at the end of her bed that she can write worries on (if able) and we can discuss logic etc at bed time. (Based on the book about a bag full of worries.)

DD has ear defenders (well, little plugs) at the ready.

We have a trampoline in the garden.

We have a weighted blanket.

DD likes heat, so finds a hot water bottle or a hot drink soothing.

I am not remotely saying that the above work magically - I mean look at all the prep n still my daughter couldn't cope with our day out (so I'll learn from that n not attempt again for a long time🙈) - but certain things do really help.

The other day my DD was getting so annoyed with her brother that I sent her for a bounce on the trampoline - which avoided a shutdown.
The visual breakdown help relieve anxiety for a much smaller trip to a reservoir.
And when my DD couldn't verbalise her upset/anxiety before school, I was at least able to tell them she had pointed to a 4 on her 5 point scale.

Little steps xx