Is lingle around?

[Landladymews2]

Hi I was wondering if she is still around as o wanted to ask her about her DS1 and his receptive language delay. I hope she’s still around!

I did have to pay for speech therapy privately because in Essex young children will only get a 6 week (once a week) block of speech therapy on the NHS and the LEA wont pay for speech therapy because they think the NHS should pay for it.

Wow so the paed must have been really convinced that it was autism. We are about to see audiology and after that the GP said he can refer us to a paed if we are still concerned but now he is showing some signs of understanding I’m not sure that’s going to happen.

I know you said your son is doing really well academically. How is the social delay side now?

I’ve just looked at the private costs for the ADOS and I’m just not convinced enough that it’s autism to spend that amount of money on it. If there were more red flags then a language delay and the fact that he’s been taught to point, I would consider it but I just don’t think that’s enough to go on.

I totally agree that there would be very little benefit in doing an ADOS assessment so young and without clear social communication and interaction difficulties. I expect many assessors would advise you to give him some time to see how his language develops.

Tough memories reading this stuff.

My ds2 went through a long phase where I absolutely considered him to understand certain words.

Then I recall being in his room one night and there was some sort of non-verbal cue for bedtime (it might have been the sound of my husband running the bath? I can’t remember). Ds2 heard/saw the cue and said, “oh, pyjamas!” meaning “oh it’s bedtime”. It’s tricky to describe after all these years, but I would have sworn blind for the whole of the previous year that he had understood the meaning of the word “pyjamas”. Obviously he hadn’t, (and technically still didn’t) BUT I had taught him that the word “pyjamas” had a meaning (to him it meant bedtime) AND he was now ready to use it to talk to me.

If anyone had dared convince me in the previous 12 months that he didn’t understand “pyjamas” I would have been really upset. Sometimes it felt like all any expert wanted to do was rain on my parade.

Perhaps it’s just that there are many more stages to the whole teaching language thing than are apparent to us as parents? But the stages are still positive and valid.

@lingle I can understand that. Did you find that was the case for a lot of words or was it just one word that he hadn’t grasped?

My husband is very quick to suggest that my son has understood a word but I’ve been very cautious about it and test him out a few times in a way that it I cannot see any way for him to guess because of context. I suppose it is possible though that when I say ‘shoes’ and he brings them to me he thinks shoes means ‘outside’ rather than ‘shoes’ but I don’t really have any way of testing that I don’t think.

Hi yes I remember it happening when the SALTwas at my house. DS2 was about 3.6. I opened the cupboard to get the pasta out and DS2 spontaneously said “oh! Green sauce!” (He saw the pesto).

To give her credit, the SALT (who I had not taken to because of the raining-on-my-parade stuff she said) spontaneously punched the air and said “yes!”. I think that was the first time I believed she actually wanted us to succeed.....

It may not matter whether his meaning for “shoes” is “shoes” or “outside”. As parents we are the indispensable ally of the child. We need to master enough theory to be able to do the right thing. I don’t think my kids missed out because of me assessing ability too optimistically -it’s almost part of being a loving parent. I guess the sweet spot is when you are happy and optimistic but also doing stuff that is stage-appropriate. Not easy.

At this stage given that when I first posted 2.5 weeks ago I felt he had no understanding and I now see signs of him understanding 6-10 words and verbalising 4-5 words I do feel optimistic. I will of course bear what you have said in mind and keep a close eye on him. For now though even if “shoes” does mean “outside to him it’s still progress!

Exactly.

I do think you should be optimistic OP :-)

So DS is fine socially btw, I'm very thankful that he has a social butterfly fun big sister to play with as playdates during lockdown haven't happened for him. The only thing he has a problem with speech/language related at age 5.5 is that he constantly gets mixed up for male/female him/her - its a bit odd, he isn't behind in reading at school and quite a few others in his class have learning support, his teacher described him recently as able so i don't think there's a comprehension problem now but its still strange.

Hi @Landladymews2, I hope you're well. How is your DS doing a few months on? He sounds very much like my boy who just turned 19 months.

@SausageSpoon His understanding is really coming on, however he only says a small handful of words. I’m not hugely worried. I know many kids talk late. If he’s still struggling with saying much when he’s 2.5 I’ll look into speech therapy.

Thank you so much for your reply @Landladymews2 (this is @SausageSpoon with a name change).

Like I said my little boy is very much like yours at 19 months he understands a few commands but can't identify body parts, animals, food and is hit and miss with familiar items.

He says a few words (I think, though I often wonder if it's wishful thinking and I'm hearing word because I want to). He says mama and dada all the time but I don't believe it's functional. DH disagrees. My husband thinks there's nothing wrong and doesn't want to hear about my worries.

In terms of pointing he does do it but its rare, not even once a day. Maybe every few days? Both to request and show. He does other gestures (claps, waves, blows kisses, high fives) but very inconsistently. He gives joint attention in other ways by showing and social referencing.

My pediatrician gave me the usual they get their in their own time so I booked a private speech therapist. She wasn't worried and said there wasn't much she could do at this age. I've also had his hearing checked and that was fine.

I adore my little boy and feel quite alone and unsupported in trying to help him.

I agree with the paed, I think some just do things in their own time. My son can now point to over a dozen body parts which he learnt in the space of a few weeks and he understands many instructions: His understanding really improved in the last two months.

I wouldn’t worry too much about the pointing. My son only really did it to request and I only saw him point to show twice when he was around 18/19 months however in the last month (he’s now 22 months) he’s started doing it every time a plane goes over head or he sees a car move out of the front window. I didn’t teach him. In fact because he had done it once or twice I forgot about it and now he’s started doing it himself (late yes, but he got there in the end).

@Landladymews2 thank you, that's so good to know regarding your son!

@essexmum777 @lingle I am at my wit's end with my DS's speech.
I am trying to understand what do you mean by language explosions.
My son is 4 and still far behind. He has always met bare minimum milestones but his language development has been painfully slow. He has had what I call "mini explosions". Coming up for 2 he could suddenly answer where questions by pointing. He pointed late but when he did that was his only mode of communication for a year. Started with words coming up for 3 and he is stuck at that along with learnt phrases. His understanding grew in a similar pattern where a little over 2 he could follow stories in a book and point to actions or characters in them.
He can answer all types of questions. " Where is..", yes and no, choice questions , expresses dislikes from a little over 3 onwards. Does answer "what he did in school" in words or yes and no.
Does this count as language explosion?
We are in a very dark place. No diagnosis yet but he does have traits.

I am worried about his receptive language as well now. Mainly in following instructions. He follows the last of the 2-3 step instructions we give. Skips teh first one.
No idea how can I help.
I assessed him on laura moze's receptive language milestones and he comes ok with most 36-42 months milestones except instruction part.
What should I do?

Bumping this up

Hi there, it’s Lingle.
I am not an expert and have no qualifications. However, my own sons language explosion came towards the age of five. It was unmistakable – the key “diagnostic” is that it quite quickly became unnecessary to continue to record individual vocabulary because everything was progressing too fast.

Can you give us some concrete examples about what you say below?
“Mainly in following instructions. He follows the last of the 2-3 step instructions we give. Skips teh first one”. I do have some ideas, but I don’t want to jump the gun…

If I tell him "put penguin in the red basket and monkey in blue basket" he will only put monkey in blue basket. Although he does follow instructions like "open the cupboard and give my your shirt" or "give mamma a kiss and daddy a hug".

Ok, I too would struggle with that instruction too if it was done just toi test. Does penguin belong in a particular colour basket?

I do probably have some level of processing disorder, probably ADHD

…. Whereas “open the cupboard and give me your shirt” has logic to it… I would’ve been able to process that instruction.

….So for that penguin example, if there is no emotional connection between the penguin and the particular colour box I would be adding a visual prompt to that.

Hmm he only follows that instruction after gesticulating. I was also thinking of processing issues. I too think (and others have pointed out) that I too have some processing issues. I am prone to saying "what" after I hear a question and then reply with the answer.😕 But I look at other children doing so well in these instructions and ofcourse my concern is that he will suffer in school of he doesn't get it.
But for now I will try adding visual cues

.

….The more I think about this the more The idea of the visual prompt is calling to me. My own processing disorder is such that I’ve sat in meetings and my notes consist only of my own name. But once something has slowed down by being put into writing I’m fine. I am not an educational expert but I imagine that nursery teachers would say that use of visuals is a healthy precursor to teaching reading….

you need a moondog calendar, etc, too. Look at old threads.