Help with understanding emotional outbursts

[emotionsinchild]

Hi any advice would be greatly appreciated. I’ve name changed for this as might be outing along side other post.

My ds is just turned 6 and he was diagnosed with autism just before he turned 5.
He has, what I think, is high functioning asd.
He is a very loving sweet little boy. He likes what he likes. Has a one track mind about his current obsession. Whether it’s Hoover’s, roblox or tv shows.
He only eats certain things, but there is a wide variety of these certain foods.
When he started nursery he wouldn’t join in at all, used to parallel play, he has always liked doing his own thing and a conversation is normally one sided, he’s very observant. Notices the small details.
He doesn’t play with anyone on the playground apparently and if he does it’s the parallel play thing again. He has one 2 one at school and is struggling with phonics at the moment. And holding his pencil properly, he still bunches his fist.

Lately I’ve noticed a change in him. He is very highly strung. Gets angry over little things and really kicks off if say for example it’s time to come off the ipad, or brush his teeth etc. I always use countdowns like 2mins til we have to go etc, but it doesn’t seem to be working anymore.
He cannot at all wait for his turn to talk, he constantly interupts conversations between myself and dp and gets so angry and then screams at us. Or if he gets asked not to do something he will just scream at us and really react so severely like we’re doing something terribly wrong.
He also seems to take very thing badly, like he perceives what happened wrong, that someone was being mean to him when actually they wasn’t, or someone told him to go away when they were actually saying it to someone else, or he walks into the table and the table did that to him on purpose!

School have noticed the emotional side of him, he’s not a bad kid in school at all but they are concerned about the emotional outbursts.
I guess I’m asking is this just a natural progression of his autism and other traits will start to come out as he gets older ? Don’t know if anyone has any experience like this who could help me just understand his condition abit more and what’s likely to happen as he gets older ? I know everyone is different too and not everyone has the same traits etc just wondering on the anger side of things really as I’m concerned he’s just unhappy and I’m not doing enough to support him

Google impulse control.

Also look into relieving a lot of stressors in his day.

His "emotional outbursts" are signs of him being overloaded, often with sensory stuff plus demands, he's telling you he can't cope.

Try and find out what his triggers are, then try to reduce them as much as possible.

Behaviour like this is usually a sign of unmet needs.

Does he have an EHCP?

Thank you, I did have a google and it sounds like my ds with the impatience, being easily distracted etc

No he doesn't have an ehcp. I didn't even know what one was until a mom on the playground mentioned her dc needed one. When he was diagnosed I got given a couple of leaflets and that was about it, this is all new to me too as he's my first dc so we're all still learning

Thanks you for replying

Has he just started year 1 then? If so that could be a trigger for a big increase in stress levels. My DS found the change from reception to Y1 intolerable and we saw behaviours we had never seen before. There is a lot more academic work in Y1

@CompassNorth yeah he's just started year 1 and he is struggling bless him. He says it's boring too lol. I think the day feels a lot longer to him as well compared to reception where it's mainly play
He's just so angry and can't take any kind of instruction without kicking off

@emotionsinchild Bless him! He is probably finding a big difference from it being play based in Reception. More pressure on his social communication skills, needing to sit for longer etc. What are his sensory needs? Is he needing regular sensory breaks from the classroom? Could some individualised learning on phonics be based on using his special interests eg roblox?
He's holding it together and is exhausted at the end of the day. Plus the changes with covid!

Hi sorry went silent been busy with life as we all are!
A little update, I've had the schools senco on the phone asking my permission for an external teacher to come in and work with ds and do some assessments and put stuff in place for him and the teachers as they are basically struggling to get him to keep up with the work. Apparently after about 6 months they will see where he is. Does anyone know what their next steps would be? I did ask but she basically said we will catch up and talk about it when the time comes.

@Niffler75 hi, thanks for your reply. His sensory needs have got so much better since nursery and reception but it's mainly noise, he has always struggled with loud and/or crowded rooms. His teacher said she notices he becomes quite vacant and said she realises he needs a break but she didn't say she had started putting these in place yet. I do think he's come on so much even since reception but obviously there are these outbursts he's having and then I know he's struggling with the work too. But also it's hard to know what's just him being a kid and what's the asd and if he's struggling

@cosmo30 If it's the noise chances are he is getting really fatigued and can't focus on the work.
My son, now 9 describes that he hears everything and if there is too much noise everything is a jumbled mess in his head and he can't focus on anything.
Try to get those classroom breaks in place asap if you can. Also see if quiet activities can be set up for him at playtime.

My son is 12 now but was pretty much how your son is when he was that age. He has made huge progress since then. We and the school have just constantly helped him to manage his emotions or to learn how to deal with stress in a more appropriate way. A big step was when he learned to ask to take a break in the classroom when he was upset instead of shouting and crying loudly. The school make certain adjustments for him - like they don’t force him to join in certain PE lessons which he hates.

His school reports when he was little used to upset me as he was clearly struggling with his behaviour and with the work- but as he has matured and learned the skills to cope - he has become happy and well behaved in school and is working well.

My son is my eldest child and I have realised, since seeing his younger brother and sister, that a certain amount of difficult behaviour is just a normal part of being a child.