Tips for communicating with school please!

[Getitdonesharpish]

Experienced parents please help me. Our son has an EHCP (ADHD/dyspraxia). He has just started secondary and I need tips to try and keep the communication positive.

DS is currently having no movement breaks and is being taken out of the only PE class they have all week for literacy interventions. He is like a coiled spring and is starting to act up at school. I called the SENCo to say we were completely on board with supporting any behavioural interventions but that it would be really helpful if he could stay in PE and have a little movement incorporated in his day. I was met with defensiveness and told that it was unlikely to be possible. I really want to keep the relationship positive but DS desperately needs some movement. It is all written into his EHCP. How do I proceed without pissing people off? Thanks

The LA is legally responsible for securing the provision in the EHC Plan. If the school are not responding to your concerns you should complain to the LA. Model letter here:

www.ipsea.org.uk/complaining-when-the-provision-in-an-ehc-plan-is-not-being-made-model-letter-6

That said it does not bode well that your son has only just started at the school and already there are issues with providing what he is entitled to.

Is this the school you asked for?

Yes, I know that he is legally entitled to the support but I really wanted to try to maintain a relationship with the SENCO so it doesn’t become adversarial. Thank you for the template letter. Hopefully we won’t have to resort to it.

All three of our choices refused to offer him a place initially. This was our first choice and we had to challenge them. He is a smart kid and he has rarely exhibited any behavioural problems in school so it feels a bit like we are about to head down a slippery slope. Before this point the SENCO had come across really well.

The only thing I can suggest is approaching the Head of Year to see if they are more amenable.

Explain that there are problems and you think it is because he is not getting the movement breaks that he needs (presumably these were recommended by the OT?) and can they do something to ensure he gets what is set out in the EHCP. If that doesn't work go to SLT.

Ultimately though while you can start off being nice and reasonable and polite, if it doesn't work , you have to become "that parent" and start making waves and raising complaints.

It shouldn't be like that, but from my experience and from what I have read on here, schools largely fall into 2 camps -the ones that do all they can to ensure your child's needs are met and the others (all too many, sadly) that have very rigid and fixed ideas about everything and expect your child to fit in with them.

Yes @Ellie56 is right. Both parties are responsible for constructive and positive communication. By dismissing your concerns and being defensive, the SENCO isn't communicating well, and they are the professional here. So why are you worrying about your communication style?
I find when communicating with schools, remain polite but be brief and stick to the facts. If they're not listening I always find quoting the law seems to concentrate their minds a little bit more. Remember you're not there to be their friend, but to advocate for your DS.

Thanks both of you. I found the constant battle at primary so wearing and having met the secondary SENCO, I had high hopes. It was one of main reasons we chose the school.

I wrote an email on Monday just to reiterate everything I said on Friday. I haven’t heard back and she has always been pretty immediate in responding. He wasn’t taken out of PE though.
How much info as a parent should we have as to what interventions are being provided? I feel like I am constantly quizzing DS to try to establish what is going on.

Good communication between home and school is crucial. Very often our children are not good at communicating themselves, so the adults around them have to open good lines of communication directly.

Again, this is something that separates the good schools from the crap ones. Our son went to a fabulous secondary school where if there was a problem, I only had to ring up and it would be sorted straight away. And If I had to leave a message I would get a call back the same day.

Sadly, the same could not be said of the next placement (mainstream FE) where communication was non existent, or only on one side. I rang up countless times about all sorts of issues. Half the time I couldn't get through the switchboard or speak to the person I needed. They hardly ever returned calls. It was so frustrating.

We got to the point where if there was a problem, we went down to the college and spoke to the receptionist, and she would find someone to speak to us, as that actually elicited a result, rather than hanging about all day, waiting for a phone call that never materialised.

It was very frustrating and and stressful, and along with all the other problems, contributed to the complete breakdown of that placement.