Feeling a bit lost

[peboh]

Hello all!
A long one so sorry!

Tldr: dd possibly asd, feeling emotional, next steps.

I don't really know what the point of this post is, I guess I just want to get my feelings out and have a bit of a moment.
So dd (21 months) is developmentally delayed. So we were referred to audiology and speech and language. She also has chromosomal abnormalities! Her hearing test was inconclusive, and speech and language went well (in the sense they confirmed I wasn't crazy with what I was seeing) she then referred her to the portage team (eysens) had a phone call today, and she confirmed that dd has been written down as being in the age group 0-11m, and is more than likely going to go down the asd testing route. Speech and language also said the same when we saw her.
I knew all of this, I've been thinking this myself since she was 16 months but as soon as the portage lady said it, I felt like I'd been hit by a ton of bricks. I feel a bit broken, and I'm not really sure why. It doesn't change my daughter, and if she does get a diagnosis she's still my baby, but I don't know why I've reacted so strongly. I guess I just want a handhold, and to maybe know despite my own theory that I'm not alone in feeling a bit taken aback when told it by a medical professional?
Also if any one can give advice on what happens next?

@peboh It's ok! 💐 You are adjusting to the news and in a sense grieving. It's a wierd mix of emotions isn't it. Along with feeling relieved and somewhat vindicated when I got my son's diagnosis I also felt angry scared, worried for the future etc.

@Niffler75 thank you! Yes it's such a strange feeling, I guess because I'd convinced myself I thought if I was told it by a medical professional I'd feel okay but it just hit me like a to of bricks!

@peboh How about contacting one of the national autism/chromosome charities for some support and advice? Also check out you Local Authority who will have a Local Offer to see what support there is locally. Due to Covid the usual support groups may not be running. You may find it helpful to connect with other families with special needs kids.
Have you applied for DLA/ other associated benefits like Carers Allowance?