Transitioning badly to year 7 - excluded twice already. Help

[DontstepontheMomeRaths]

My son was diagnosed ASD by the NHS Community Paed when he was age 4. The GP referred me. His primary wasn't always brilliant with him but we muddled through. They said I wouldn't get an EHCP for him if I tried. I was too emotionally exhausted to fight.

Now he's entered secondary and they apply the behaviour policy strictly. Both incidents where he lashed out he was being bullied and was provoked.
I feel they're failing him as he doesn't have a safe space at lunch despite asking since 4 Sept.
The SENDco is over worked and hard to get hold of. They head of year has clearly judged my son a thug now. And I literally don't know what to do. I'm constantly advocating for him with long emails explaining why he behaves as he does. About his he shuts down when stressed, his painful honesty, how he can't regulate himself under stress but their answer so far isn't suitable accommodations and support but punishment.
I'm now insisting he be assessed for an EHCP.
Should I complain to the governors too?

Contact your local SENDIASS team. You can also look on IPSEA and SOSSEN for more information.

Apply for an EHCP yourself. You can either use the model letter they have on the IPSEA site or their should be one on your local offer. I wouldn't wait for the school to do it.

Being excluded twice is very good grounds for showing that the school cannot manage his behaviour.

I'm sorry that you are both having such a difficult time!

Have you had letters formally telling you about your right to ask the governors to review the exclusion? If so it may well be worth using that right and, in particular, flag up the issue of disability discrimination if in effect he is being punished for his disability or the effects of not having proper support for his disability. I wouldn't be too optimistic about the governors overturning the exclusion, but it will make the school think about what it is doing and flag up to them that supporting your son would be more effective than punishing him.

Your son is covered by the Equality Act 2010 as autism is classed as a disability.

All schools have a legal duty to make reasonable adjustment for disabled pupils. Not to make reasonable adjustments could be construed as disability discrimination.

www.equalityhumanrights.com/sites/default/files/reasonable_adjustments_for_disabled_pupils_1.pdf

And you absolutely can apply for an EHC Needs assessment yourself. The fact that your son has been excluded twice already shows the school is not meeting needs.

www.ipsea.org.uk/asking-for-an-ehc-needs-assessment

Thank you. His reintegration meeting is in the morning where he's supposed to promise to improve his behaviour. Ridiculous. They need to make reasonable adjustments for him. Then he won't meltdown.
Used ipsea website to craft email to governors.
Left message for SENDIASS.
Rang Herts CC inclusion officer who is now in contact with the school SENDco. I've been busy. So stressed I feel sick.

But I need to really get going on EHCP. I'll need all your support. I've cried a lot which helps no one. But he's loosing his education by exclusion. I asked teachers for work to do at home but didn't receive much. Only just started and he can't even make friends with how they're dealing with him and transition well.

You could also try contacting the SOS SEN helpline. They have very helpful booklets on EHC needs assessments and also now have some recordings of webinars they produced which may be useful. I think I also saw something recently about them having one on EHC needs assessments next month.

@DontstepontheMomeRaths I am so sorry you and your son are experiencing this! 💐

I am sure we can really around to support you. You are absolutely in the right and your son needs reasonable adjustments and support. It's like punishing a wheelchair user for not getting up a flight of stairs if the lift is broken!

SOS SEN great resources! Thank you for that.
SENDIASS lady super helpful this morning on phone after meeting.

Meeting was ridiculous. Apparently until October half term he is allowed to go to the sen room during breaks as a safe space. But that means nobody else can use it because they bubble by year group, so he's only going to be offered that until October half term.
They also told me that his primary school have not helped him transition by the accommodations they had and actually it would be good for him to get used to being outside at break times and dealing with other kids and confrontations🤦🏼‍♀️
They laid the guilt on the fact that means that an SEN staff member will have to be in the room all the time and they have to be paid for that and it won't prep him for life.
The thing is this whole situation is daft because if it wasn't for Covid he could just go in the library every lunchtime but year seven are only allowed in there on Mondays. so they need to make reasonable adjustments.

I also discovered today that the bullies who instigated the incident on Friday and provoked him definitely lied about what happened, so there were no consequences for them. And then they expect him from now on to tell a teacher when there is a problem. But he will now have no faith in the teachers to do anything about bullies because he knows that the bullies lie and that they're believed.
It doesn't matter if I tell them that he didn't lash out at the children in primary school, I can tell they don't believe me and I can tell that no matter what happens moving ahead they will apply the behaviour policy regardless of his special educational needs.

I feel exhausted but I have to keep fighting. Head of year is angry at me. I can tell. I went nuclear on the phone the other day 🤦🏼‍♀️
Deputy head was professional but he did make an inappropriate comment at the beginning as I'd threatened to go to a local newspaper if they didn't sort bullying out.

I am so sorry that this is happening to your son.

I'm also sorry that this is my response, because the previous posters who have pointed out that this is disgraceful disability discrimination are correct. But have you got another school he could go to? I've yet to see this shit turn out well without senior leadership at the school being committed to delivering an education to all children.

That made me angry for your son just reading that! The school sounds very unsupportive.

I would confirm with them in writing that they are going to need funding for a SEN support person to supervise him as it will be additional proof that he needs extra funding for the EHCP application.

My favourite part of the meeting this morning was when they pointed out that the school (which is actually a really good partially selective school) only has 3 SEN staff. But the grammar school down the road has 16.
I mean how is that relevant they have a duty of care to provide an education for him and make suitable accommodations 🤦🏼‍♀️

I've just rang his junior school and they were lovely down the phone and they said just to get the SENDco to give them a call and they'll talk about what helped him at junior school.

@DontstepontheMomeRaths Sorry to say this school does not have a clue! 😡 May I ask is your son being targeted due to his differences?
You need to consider whether this school can meet your sons needs even with an EHC in place. Does your son want onto go to this school? Does he feel safe and supported? Is there an option to get him signed off sick by GP?
You can initiate an EHC needs assessment yourself as a parent. I did for my son.
The LA remain responsible for your son's education if he is off sick for a certain amount if days.
Have you got meeting minutes from this atrocious meeting? Any paperwork that documents the schools standing on this while still being aware of yours son's diagnosis?
Sorry for all the questions! ((Hugs))

I took notes. I actually wanted to record it on my phone but I felt that might make things worse. I'm just putting an email together for the SENDco which is confirming what was agreed this morning. SENDIASS lady said to keep a paper trail.

My ex husband is a paramedic and he couldn't make this morning so I took a friend for moral support. They told me that my friend wasn't allowed to speak in the meeting but was just allowed to accompany me. They actually asked if she was a lawyer. Ironically she is a qualified lawyer but she is now a mediator. She actually works with local education authorities and parents when there are issues with EHCPs. By not allowing her to speak at all they lost valuable advice.

If I do manage to get an EHCP I might have to accept the fact that he needs to go to a different school if they can't help him. This one is 10 minutes walk from our house, but I will not have him be painted as a thug when he's actually a really sweet boy. I have no idea what this has done for his self-esteem. Let alone trying to make friends.

Don't put up with a crap school just because it's within walking distance. We ferried our son to a school 6 miles away for 5 years, where he was very happy, rather than send him to the school up the road where he wouldn't have lasted 5 minutes.