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SN children

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Original poster

Passive Baby's and ASD?

20 replies

MummyToSteven · 19/10/2004 08:56

Hi all. Sorry to bother you again. Just that I was reading a book on Aspergers recently "Hitchhiking through Aspergers" (one of the JKP books!) and DH flicked through the first page and said - the description of the baby there (who turned out to have Aspergers) sounds just like our Steven. (I have mentioned on previous threads that my psychologist thinks I most probably have mild Aspergers)

Steven has always been quite a "passive" baby, in that he would seem very serene/contented, and not require much attention, and only get really cross at being changed (first few months) or being bathed (first five months). (Which basically matched the description in the book). Steven started babbling quite early - at about 5/5.5 months, and is now 7 months. He also laughs (not that often tho!) He has always been a smiley/affectionate baby as well (which I know from previous things I have read is no indicator of anything)

Basically what I am getting at in this rambling post is:
1)Does a passive, easy baby necessarily or even most likely mean that I should be on the lookout for ASD? I've got very little experience with babies, so don't know how often babies are "passive" or "easy".
2)Is there anything in particular I can do/look out for at this stage that could help him? As of course whether or not he does have ASD, extra help/attention isn't going to do him any harm. TBH I have read about the "tilt test" for have avoided doing it in case I find out something I am not ready for atm.

Sorry for this long rambly post and hope I am not getting on your nerves too much!

TIA

OP posts:

Eulalia · 19/10/2004 09:03

The only odd thing I remember my ds doing (he is autistic) at that age was sitting and leaning his head over sideways when he watched me going out of the room. Kind of difficult to explain but my dd never did this. Also he seemed kind of 'disconnected' or a bit in his own world. However I had no idea that he was autistic then and I'd say it was really hard to check for ASD at this age. Passive babies doesn't mean ASD at all so I think you are probably best leaving it for a few months till he is nearer a year and looking out for other things like pointing for example. HTH

coppertop · 19/10/2004 09:41

I think it's very difficult to spot ASD at such a young age although not impossible. With hindsight ds1's warning signs as a baby were:

When he was born he refused to feed at all, to the extent that he had to be tube-fed. He'd had every test going (including a lumbar puncture ) to find a reason but they all came back negative. I now realise that this was almost certainly because his mouth was so hypersensitive that he didn't want anything in it.
After an initial 3-day period of almost constant screaming (the other mums on the maternity ward actually asked me how I managed to stay sane it was so bad) ds1 effectively shut down for 3 days. He was awake for approximately 10 minutes in every 24hr period. I now wonder if he had a sensory overload.
When we brought him home from the SCBU he cried a lot and hardly slept at all. After a few months it was as though someone had flicked a switch. The sleeplessness was still there but the screaming stopped.
Ds1 would have been happy sitting in his pram/pushchair all day if I'd let him. He liked watching light patterns and those big helium ballooons that you can buy for children. He was so passive that my family told me that he obviously wasn't used to being picked up and that I'd obviously been neglecting him etc.

Although I felt that he was somehow 'different' it's only with hindsight that I can see his ASD traits. I didn't really consider ASD until he was about 14 months or so when I was trying to find out how he could have passed his hearing tests yet still seem to be completely deaf most of the time. In those pre-mumsnet days I had no idea that his lack of pointing actually meant anything.

jakbrown · 19/10/2004 10:06

Coppertop, that's really eery- my dd wouldn't feed, wouldn't latch on. Then slept for days without waking up. She was incrediby passive but then other mums had passive babies who didn't emerge as autistic. Like you, it was around a year on that I got worried when she appeared deaf. And no pointing.

scaltygirl · 19/10/2004 10:21

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snmum · 19/10/2004 10:37

sorry to hijack...

but is sleeping alot a sign of autism? I am asking this because my friends has been having problems with her son. he is classed as having a 'mild' speech delay and she is quite happy with this. I have always thought there is more to it. He sleeps for hours and hours and hours and doesnt wake up. As a baby he sometimes used to sleep the whole day and had to be woken up to be fed, this was still going on even when he was 2!! he poo smears, has violent behaviour and does a wide grin alot. cant stand to wear clothes and loads of other stuff. Am i reading to much into it? She refuses to accept there is a problem, so it is none of my business really. infact i upset her because the nursery were being funny about him not being properly potty trained and I said ask for him to be put on the SN register as he has SN, didnt go down to well

MTS I hope you dont take offence but try not to read too much into your sons behaviour. It is very easy to read too much into things when you are a first time parent. Of course keep an eye on things and seek help as early as possible if he doesnt seem to be developing properly but please enjoy him as much as possible.

jakbrown · 19/10/2004 10:43

snmum, oh that's really difficult for you. However, my dd was at her child development centre with several children who had mild speech delay and other problems who have, by the age of four, done very well with specialist input. Is her ds getting any specialist input? Nursery sound a bit uptight- 2 is a bit little for guaranteed potty training status isn't it?!
An echo your thoughts to MTS. Enjoy your ds- think there's so much stuff out there now about looking for potential problems that it's really hard not to analyse but try to chill if you can. Hard, I know. But my dd had several peers who wwere passive, weren't cross about being changed etc and they are totally NT now.

Original poster

MummyToSteven · 19/10/2004 10:48

takes more than that to offend me snmum! and you are absolutely right. just i guess i tend to take things more seriously when dh suggests them as I am the family "worrier" IYSWIM.

thanks for all the info girls. it has put my mind at rest re:the comments about it being reasonably usual for babies to be "passive types".

OP posts:

snmum · 19/10/2004 10:53

jakbrown, he is nearly 4 and yes he is having speech therapy. The first speech therapist couldnt 'work out' what was going on with him so he was reffered to the special speech therapist, she wants him to go for assessment but my friend has refused () oh gawd it is so hard when you are on the outside, been there done that. It seems stupid because she was so understanding when my dd was having problems but i seem to offend her if i offer her advise, which is usually 'nag' for more speech therapy and she seems annoyed people think there is a problem. Does that make sense?! and the nursery are uptight, actually. My dd was suppossed to start there but I got the impression that they didnt want SN children there (it is a council nursery btw with beacon status!)

Hopefully he will do well though!

maddiemo · 19/10/2004 10:53

I have had four passive babies and only one is autistic. The things I remember which were of concern before the age of one are, he did not show interest in games such as 'This little piggy' and 'Walking round the garden'. He never made a nonverbal request for more, such as getting excited or holding up his foot or hand for me to repeat a game.
He did not raise his arms up to be picked up.
If we were playing sharing games in his highchair, I would take a piece of his food and pretend to eat it. He would never offer me his food in a teasing way.
Like Coppertop' son he was fascinated by watching a helium balloon and showed no interst in baby toys.
He really did not cry at all, showed no sign of discomfort.
He was also very restricted in his diet eating only pureed fruit and crusty bread until the age of two. He was breasfed and could not be changed on to a bottle. He did not seem aware that I was Mummy. Please don't worry, it is very early days and as I have said I have three children who were also passive but not in the way I have described above and they are not autistic.

jakbrown · 19/10/2004 11:51

snmum, oh that's really difficult. All you can do is be there for her and hopefully she will get her head round it eventually. Specialist speech therapy can work wonders, too, so it's a shame she's reticent. Mind you, I remember the 'denial' phase very well. I remember saying to my specialist HV, 'How can you tell my dd will be going to a special school, she's not even 2!'. Of course, now fully got head round it but it took time!

snmum · 19/10/2004 11:55

I so know what you mean jaks! I was exactly the same, i just wish someone would have grabbed me and shook me. Does your dd go to special school btw? how old is she? my dd has justed started special school, and the dreads I used to go through about her EVER going to special school, then i fought to get her in one! funny how things pan out isnt it?

jakbrown · 19/10/2004 11:57

Aaaahh! Well, my dd is nearly 4 and will go next September. Yes, it is funny. I am fighting to get her in to the only SLD autistic unit around!

snmum · 19/10/2004 12:01

LOL! it always suprises me how similar all our feelings are on this board because in real life I always tend to think other parents 'accept' it better or cope better when really we all go through that emotional rollercoaster!

jakbrown · 19/10/2004 19:43

Agree ... Feel as if I've met more 'kindred spirits' on this board than I've met in a long time

Dingle · 19/10/2004 19:59

I can't agree more!!
Don't you think it's easier to open up to your feelings here? If you burst into tears-no one really knows, no one looks down on you thinking "silly cow, pull yourself together."

Jimjams · 19/10/2004 20:09

I've had 2 pasive babies. DS1 (the autistic one) actually did reach out just in time, did hold up arms to be picked up at the right time etc, but was very passive in play. I remember the HV telling me to encourage him to crawl by putting a toy out of reach- this was when he wasabout a year old- but he wasn't bothered about getting it- just liked to watch. He watched everything to be honest- just didn't engage.

DS2 was kind of passive and easy going, but was much more interested in playing. Also copied me from an early age (pre-4 months- I was stunned) and modelled what he was doing on people around him. had less concentration than ds1 and would get bored more easily.

dinosaur · 20/10/2004 17:38

My DS1 was quite "passive" for the first few months - I could just put him down for a nap wide awake and he would either lie there contentedly or go straight to sleep - no rocking, feeding to sleep etc required. However that all changed during the second half of the first year and he became very hard to soothe, cried a lot without us being able to understand the reasons, and I never seemed to be able to soothe him by talking to him etc. Didn't realise how "different" he was until I had my NT DS2, tbh.

Original poster

MummyToSteven · 21/10/2004 19:07

Hi everyone, thanks very much for your comments and kind words.

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mrsforgetful · 21/10/2004 21:47

just to say that my ASD boys were the total opposite....1 has aspergers and the other 'something' yet to be diagnosed.

however.....reading these things and looking out is going to do no harm....and will not 'make him autistic'...if you see what i mean!!!

with my 3rd son...because by then we were begining to have mutterings of AS for tom (then nearly 6)....i was better aware of things like SENSORY ISSUES....so when he cried...i would check the things that with hindsite may have irritated tom as a tot...like labels rubbing him in the bach of his neck (even now he hates that) and food textures....

what i'm thinking is that by my 3rd son i was basically parenting in a ASD way...!!!.....and therefore though he may not need it he 'benefits'.

God! i'm going off at a tangent here!

Original poster

MummyToSteven · 23/10/2004 23:56

Hi Mrs. Forgetful, thanks for posting your very interesting thoughts on my question - I guess atm I am feeling like a bit of a neurotic panicky mother - and best to just mostly wait and see about things - but in any case there's no harm in trying and keep an eye out for things that might be upsetting DS.

OP posts:

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