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Friends DD working at pre KS1 stage as refuses to access curriculum

5 replies

billsnewhat · 16/09/2020 18:06

I am after advice for my friend. Her daughter is 10 and in yr 6. She generally hates school, being at home, being out everything and everyone, she rarely smiles and hates people. She adores her cats and her bearded dragon. She can speak and when she does she speaks like a much older person. She is very intelligent but hates school. She hasn't accessed any of the curriculum since yr 4. At the end of year 3 she was working at greater depth but she point blank refuses to enter the classroom. When she was 7 her her mum had another baby who was born very prematurely and had to spend alot of time in hospital so all her issues stem from this and the only place she says she feels safe is with her mum at home. Lockdown came and we all thought she would thrive being away from the school environment but she hated every day as much as being at school. She hasn't picked up a pencil since early march. She basically just reads at home on her stool under the stairs. She reads adult books and can read up to 6 a day!!! She has been diagnosed with SEMHD. Professionals are even at the end of the tether because she refuses to co operate. She says her whole body hurts and she has a body places chart to show where and it varies all the time . She has a whole physio program which she refuses to do so they have told her mum there is nothing more they can do, Her CAMHS advisor has had to refer onto to someone with more experience because she has no idea how to help her anymore. Her current school can't cope with her as she just will not co operate. She really just hates everything and everyone but by offering her a solution makes her even more withdrawn and upset. Does anyone know if there is such a thing as a school for children with SEMH disorders. Professionals are now finding it very hard to help her and her mum is getting no where trying to get her the help that she obviously needs. Thank you

OP posts:
Ellie56 · 16/09/2020 22:00

Yes there are special schools for children with SEMH.

Does she have an EHC Plan?

Niffler75 · 19/09/2020 18:24

Has she been assessed for anything else? Autism can present very differently in girls. Also the body pain could be linked to hypermobile joints that are quite common in people with autism.

billsnewhat · 21/09/2020 17:39

They have dismissed autism because no appointment she has is consistent - sometimes she talks, sometimes she doesn;t, she has no dominant traits that show up enough at regular appointments. She apparently refused to go to school on Friday and when her mum asked she said they are always jolly and smiling and solutioning her problems.. She can't cope with any praise or positivity. She said she will only go to school if nobody talks to her or tries to make her happy. Her mum is at the end of her tether and has contacted SENDIASS today to see if she can apply for an EHCP for her herself- school seem to think this is all choice and will not apply for one as they say she is perfectly able to access the cirriculum but she chooses not too!!!

OP posts:
Niffler75 · 21/09/2020 18:14

Yes she can apply for an EHCNA herself as a parent
Due to her levels of anxiety and school refusal, notfineonschool and squarepeg are excellent resources.
Not helpful at all that the school are saying it is 'choice'. 🤬There are obviously unmet needs here for your friends daughter.
The local autism team where I live said my son couldn't have autism as he is 'too social' and has 'ok eye contact!' 🤨

peppajay · 23/09/2020 16:58

Thank you I will pass this info on to her. I have an autistic son who loves and thrives at school so this school refusal is completely new to me!! Apparently she had a better day yesterday as people didn't try to make her smile and because yesterday she wasn't forced to smile she felt more at ease going in to school today. Smiling, laughter and happy people are the things that stress her out the most so if school don't use rewards or praise or even smile at her she copes better. She still hasn't picked up a pencil after being at school for 22 days!!!!!

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