worried about downs syndrome

[asset1]

Hi, I'm new to this board. I'm 30 weeks pregnant and my triple blood test at 16 weeks came back high chance of downs (1 in 30). I didnt have an amnio as we would not have terminated anyway and at the time very much 'came to terms with' the idea that the baby (girl) may have downs, and kind of put it out of my mind. But the last few days I've started worrying about it. We have a 2.7 year old and we're all very excited about the new baby, but I've been worrying about what it would actually be like to have a baby with downs, would it feel like a disappointment somehow? what about other people's reactions? the pressure it might put on our family? and my relationship with my husband? what it would mean for my son to have a sister with downs?
My husband is very positive about the whole thing and I know that we'll love our baby whatever the case, but I suppose the (possible) reality of it all is now starting to dawn on me, and well, I'm just worried really.
I'd really appreciate if anyone who's been there can let me know what's it's like. I suppose I'm looking for positive experiences more than anything!

Hi asset, I know exactly how you're feeling as I too had a high risk blood test, decided against amnio, and then had DD3, who does have downs syndrome.
The main thing I have to say to you is that you will love your girl whatever number of chromosomes she has. And I know you're worried, but she's more likely NOT to have DS. But, whatever, once you get to know your new daughter as an individual, her having DS will be just a part of who she is, not the main focus as it may seem to you know.
Have a look on my profile a my lovely girl who has THE best sense of humour and makes me laugh so much each day. She is asleep now and looks like a little angel. But sometimes she behaves like a little devil!! I love her no more and no less than DD1 and DD2, I have 3 wonderful girls. One of them has DS and, really, its fine
You will be fine too, whatever happens xxx

Message withdrawn

hi

I dont post here very often but do check in regularly. I have a daughter with DS. She is now approaching her3rd birthday. I also have a son who was 2yrs 7mths when she was born. My daughters website is www.constanzesmith.com if you wanted to take a look

I can honestly say that she is amazing, and it has been a completely positive excperience for us as a family.

My son adores his sister and so far there has been nothing but positive outcomes for him (I believe that he has become more understanding of differences/acceptance of others because of his sister). Obviously i cannot predict the future, especially when they are both adults, but I have no concerns at the moment.

My husband and I still have a strong relationship and it has not been affected by Tanzie's condition.

And I have never felt disappointed in her or felt any adverse reactions, in fact quite the opposite. she has such a huge personality that everyone knows her and everyone loves her. She is the star of the show wherever she goes ;)

I wont tell you that its as easy as having a 'normal' baby because there is additional work - we have regular therapy sessions, I do work with her at home to help her development, it is hard seeing her peers reaching milestones before she does

But i cannot imagine it any other way now... and I truly am so very much in love with her, and so very very proud of her - everything she achieves is so much harder for her to do, and she works just so hard, with such determination, that when she does achieve things (such as walking - she was 2yrs2mths old) then it is an amazing moment, and the pride i feel, well... i am unable to put it into words!

If your baby does have DS you may find that you will go through a time of grieving, or feeling a loss, many parents do. Thats normal, even if you think you have come to terms with the diagnosis. It can still hit me every now and then (eg when i see the speech ability of other nearly 3yr olds and compare it to Tanzie) but then i have to remember she is an individual and its not healthy to compare ;) and just how much she HAS achieved and I dont stay sad for long!

it also makes life easier if you surround yourself with lots of support - eg support groups, or websites like this, or just friends and family who you can really talk to/rely on

Good luck
Sharon x

ah, thanks all of you. Sharonkitten and headgirl your girls are just gorgeous! It's really helped seeing what characters they obviously are. Important to personalise these things, not just see DS as a disability and a problem. And I'm sure there are challenges but that's what helps you grow doesn't it. feeling a lot more positive about everything. thanks