WHEN DOES POCKET MONEY BECOME A BRIBE????

[mrsforgetful]

Just posted on the POCKET MONEY THREAD on the behaviour section.

But i wasn't 100% honest.

As well as paying leigh the odd 5p or 10p for doing extra jobs....i have also 'solved' some problem behaviours with this method too.

For example....

He gets 10p if he feeds himself at teatime
(he is 8 next week)

He gets 10p if he goes into the playground after JUST 1 kiss and cuddle......recently he was having to be 'removed' from me by teachers.

so far these are 'ALL' i have agreed....and so far going very well....lot less stress at mealtimes and mornings are 100% better.....i don't feel like i've been dragged through a hedge backwards after he has clung on to me when i try to go home.i left in tears twice in the previous 2 weeks before we started this .

I'm clutching at straws here for 'justification/reassurance' ..... but thinking about those of you that have used chocolate buttons etc to get kids to 'respond' or indicate a need.....do you think that with an older AS child that my 'method' is 'distantly related'....or am i heading for trouble?

i've tried things like a sticker/marble incentive....so that he earns a reward after collecting a number of stickers etc....however as he is so mathematical he soon works out that each sticker/marble is worth 'only 0.0000001p'....so gave up on that idea.

Basically i am only paying out what i am willing to......

well we tell ellie that unless she does certain things her riding will stop until she can do them - works far better than stopping her cash IYKWIM although last week she wouldn't clean her room so I took £10 off her allowance -its nice and tidy now! Had to do it that way as she has sprained her wrist and can't ride for a month

I guess giving money is better than sweets which is a popular bribe - as long as it isn't overdone it can certainly make life easier. We only give mone after a good work - like a good work sticker at school or passing a sports exam (going rate £1)

i am of the mindset that whatever reward works for y ou is what you should use..... no problem with that. Unfortunately we are not at that stage with dd ( just 2 yo) but I am sure we will.

We all like to be rewarded for things we have done well....

It's only the same as stopping his pocket money but in reverse IYSWIM. sounds ok to me and if it works for you then go for it

MrsF, if it works then its the right reinforcer for him. Just think of the coins as tokens and call it a token system!
(P.S. I'm off to laminate some little photos of DD now)

MrsF - If it's working then it's obviously the right system for you. If it's removing a lot of stress then even better. Don't feel guilty.

MrsF - I don't think you should worry about it.. its not like you are talking vast sums of money and, as others have said, if it works..... without having a huge amount of knowledge about it, when I read your post I was immediately reminded of the chocolate button reinforcers others have talked about, so yes, I would say it was a pretty similar method.

I also think that in some (most actually) situations you can't worry about 'storing up trouble for the future', you have to cope in the here and now.